爱华网同一个冷笑话，你也笑不了几次;为什么同一件事，你总是为它痛苦不止呢?小编整理了简短英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
简短英语笑话带翻译：You're Not Going to Make it
Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."
你活不成了
一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。
“你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”
在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么?”
“很遗憾，”妻子说，“你活不成了。”
简短英语笑话带翻译：What Will Be the Headline
When a man in Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbedthe animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated theman and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by KillingVicious Animal. "
The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.
"Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by KillingDog. '"
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"
标题是什么
一位男子在乔治亚州的麦根城遇到一条狗在袭击一个男孩。他敏捷地用两手卡住了狗的脖子并掐死了它。一位记者目睹了这件事，向这位男子表示祝贺并说次日的新闻标题将是：“本地男子杀恶畜救孩童”。
然而，这位英雄却告诉记者他不是麦根人。
“那么，”记者说，“标题可能为‘乔治亚男子杀狗救孩童’”.
“实际上，”那男子道，“我是康涅狄格人。”
“这样的话，”记者怒气冲冲地说，“标题将是‘北方佬杀死家庭爱犬’”
简短英语笑话带翻译：I'm a police officer
When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by twoferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they toreout into the yard.
Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's allright, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."
"Not a very brave one," 'she observed.
我是警察
在我丈夫杰克还是警察的时候，一次他走近有两只恶狗看守的庭院。那两只狗奋力地扑抓纱门，把门弄开了并冲到院子里。
杰克反应迅速，三步并两步地跨入房子里，牢牢地关上身后的门。“没事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”
“可不是很勇敢的一个。”她淡淡地说。
简短英语笑话带翻译：A Tough Teacher
A school teacher friend of mine injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around theupper part of his body. On his first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he wasassigned to teach the most undisciplined class. Stepping confidently into the rowdyclassroom, he opened the window as wide as possible. Just then, a strong breeze made his tieflap. Trying to fix the tie , he took a blackboard eraser and hammered a large tack through histie into his chest.
He had no trouble with discipline that term.
强悍的教师
我有一位作教师的朋友弄伤了他的背，因此上身不得不穿石膏罩。开学的第一天，他的身上还穿着石膏罩。他被分派教最不守纪律的班级。他很自信地步入乱哄哄的教室，把窗子尽可能大地打开。就在这时，一阵强风把他的领带吹得飘起来。为了固定领带，他拿起黑板擦，把一个大头钉透过领带砸入他的胸膛。
那学期在他的课上，没有不守纪律的。
简短英语笑话带翻译：A Plumber
My daughter Judy, who works for a plumbing company, found herself in need of a plumber at home. When she got to work, she asked that a plumber be sent. For several days her request was ignored.
In desperation, as she departed one afternoon she left her boss this note - "I will come to work in the morning as soon as a plumber gets to my house. " One arrived shortly before 7 a. m.
管道修理工
我女儿朱迪在一家管道公司工作。一日，她发现自己家里需要一个管道修理工。于是，去上班时，她要求派一个管修工到她家里。但一连几天，她的要求都没有得到回应。
出于无奈，一天下午下班时，她给老板留下这样一张字条：“明早管修工一到我家，我即刻来上班。”第二天早晨还不到七点钟就来了一位管修工。
