爱华网笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点;笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。下面是小编带来的笑到停不下来的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇一
Okay, Who Cut the Cheesee?
谁在放屁?
A young man was visiting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.
有位年轻人第一次去拜访女朋友的父母亲。
He had been quite nervous about it, and his nervousness was manifesting itself as gastricdistress.
他好紧张，紧张到肠胃不舒服。
Agonizingly, he felt the urgent need to release some intestinal gas.
令人苦恼的是，他急着要排除肠内的空气。
Surreptitiously, he emitted a "silent but deadly. "
于是他放了个臭得要命的闷屁。
"Rover! " the girlfriend's mother admonished.
“路宝!”女朋友的妈妈警告家里的狗。
The young man realized that the family dog was sitting under his chair, and saw a way out ofhis difficultieis.
那个老兄知道他女朋友家的狗就坐在他椅子下，想出了一个解决难题的方法来。
Desperately seeking relief, he let out a Larger hooter.
他急于舒解，便放了一个更大的响屁。
"Rover!" shouted the mother.
“路宝!”妈妈又一次叫着她家的狗。
Thinking his problems were over for sure, the young guy emitted a real window rattler.
年轻人以为他的问题已经结束了，于是他放了一个连窗户都为之振动的大响屁。
"Rover ! " cried the mother, "get over here before he shits on you."
“路宝!”妈妈喊道，“快过来这边，免得他在你身上拉屎!”
笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇二
Put Yourself in My Place
设身处地替人想一想
Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,
某一农场上，老妈要老爸去修理茅房。
Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.
老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回来了。
"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "
“那个茅房什么问题也没有啊，孩子的娘。”
Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.
老妈将老爸带回茅房，把他的头塞进茅坑当中。
"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"
“嘿!”老爸说道，“我的胡子粘住了!”
"Aggravatin', ain't it?"
“问题严重了，是不是呢?”
笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇三
Down on the Farm
农场趣谈
The farmer was painting the inside of his outhouse,
一位农夫正在漆他茅房内的墙壁，
when he slipped on the seat and fell into the hole beneath.
一不小心由所坐的椅子上滑了一跤，跌落到下面的茅坑内。
"Fire! Fire! Fire!" he yelled.
“失火了!失火了!失火了!”他叫道。
Shortly, the fire department arrived and one of the firemen leaned down and asked the farmer,
不久消防队赶来了，一位消防人员弯下身来问：
"Where's the fire?"
“哪里失火了呢?”
"There ain't no fire," said the farmer,
“事实上并未失火，”农夫说，
"but would you have come if I'd yelled "Shit! Shit! Shit ! ? "
“但若是我喊“大便喔!大便喔!你们会赶来吗?”
笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇四
Charity Begins at Home
慈善应由家中做起
Sam Sidney was going door to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitableorganization of which he was a member.
山姆，希德尼正挨家挨户推销他所属的一家慈善机构的彩券以筹募基金。
One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.
有一天早上他敲了苏利文太太的门。
"Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society" saidSam.
“您早!苏利文太太，我是代表南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会的。”
"What's it that you say?" croaked the old lady.
“你说什么啊?，’老太太大声问道。
"I SAY I'M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SING-ING AND SOCIALSOCIETY ! "
“我说我正为南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会卖彩券!”
"Eh?"
“哦?”
"RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY! "
“彩券!南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会!”
"You'll have to speak up, young man, there's no use mumbling.
“你应当说大声点，年轻人，喃喃低语是没用的。”
"Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan," said Sam under his breath as he turned away.
“喔!去你的，苏利文太太!”山姆离开时屏气说。
Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, "Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and SocialSociety. "
苏利文太太关门说道： “去你妈的，南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会!”
笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇五
A Satisfied Gustomer
一位心满意足的客户
A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.
有一位相貌粗鲁的家伙走进银行对柜台职员说:
"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "
“我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。”
"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."
“当然可以啦，先生，”年轻的小姐回答说，“但没有必要使用那种字眼。”
"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.
“嘿，你他妈的能不能快一点吗?我在赶时间呢!”
"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "
“先生，我不习惯别人那样子对我说话。”
"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"
“我要开一个××的活期存款账户，而且要现在就办，懂了吗?”
"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.
“先生，我去找经理来。”气愤的年轻小姐说着。
Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"
不久她带了经理回来，那位满头白发、看起来很庄严的老先生问道：“先生，到底有什么问题吗?
“I just won $10,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "
“我刚中彩券得了一千万美元，我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。”
"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"
“我知道了，”经理说道，“而这个臭婊子在给您添麻烦，是吧?”
