爱华网笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。下面是小编带来的英文版冷笑话，欢迎阅读!
英文版冷笑话篇一
跟妈妈一模一样的女朋友
No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice."Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she's bound to like her."
So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like mother, And just as you said, mother liked her".
"So," asked the friend, "what happened?""Nothing," said the young man. " My father hates her!".
有个小伙子发现，无论他带什么女孩子回家，妈妈都不赞成。一位朋友建议他，“你找一个像你母亲一样的女孩吧——你母亲肯定会喜欢她的”。这个小伙子就找啊找啊，终于找到了一个女孩。他告诉自己的朋友：“就像你说的，我找到了一个女孩，无论在感觉、说话、打扮，甚至烹饪手艺都很像母亲的，而且真的像你说的那样，妈妈很喜欢她。”“那么，”他的朋友问到，“发生了什么事?”“没事，”小伙子说，我父亲很讨厌她!”
英文版冷笑话篇二
那个“甜嘴”老公的真相
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.
Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
实情
伯尼被邀请到朋友家吃晚餐。莫里斯，也是请客的主人，在每个客人面前都称他的妻子为亲爱的、我的爱人、甜心等等。
伯尼于是对莫里斯说：“你真是很好，结婚这么多年后，你还是喊你妻子这么甜蜜的名字。”莫里斯则弯下腰来对伯尼轻声说：“告诉你实情吧，我3年前就忘记她的名字了。”
英文版冷笑话篇三
Sons' Gifts to Mother
Three sons discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks.
She wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
She wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes."
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
给妈妈的礼物
三个儿子商量给年迈的妈妈买什么礼物好。
大儿子说，“我给妈妈建一幢大房子。”二儿子说，“我给她买一辆奔驰。”三儿子笑着说，“你们的礼物都不好。还记得妈妈多喜欢读圣经吗?现在她视力不大好看不了了。我送她一只鹦鹉，会背诵圣经的。妈妈只要起个头，它就可以接着背下去。”
不久之后，妈妈分别给三人发了感谢信。她给大儿子写道，“你建的房子太大了，我只能住一间屋，可是要打扫整幢房子的卫生。”她给二儿子写道，“我太老了，没法出门旅行。大部分时间呆在家里，很少用车。”“亲爱的，”她跟小儿子说，“妈妈的心思你最明白，那只小鸟的味道美极了。”
英文版冷笑话篇四
我家的聪明狗会买报纸
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration(演示) and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted(小跑) off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
“How much did you give him?” asked the owner.
“Five dollars.”
“Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie.”
聪明狗
一位养狗人宣称：要是给了爱犬钱，它便会到报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来做个演示，并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了，仍不见它带报纸回来。
“你给了它多少钱?”狗的主人问。
“五元。”
“这就是了。你给它五元钱时，它就去看电影。”
