爱华网在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。本文是大学英语笑话故事，希望对大家有帮助!
大学英语笑话故事：二战伊始
This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest to confess.
一位年长的意大利男人来向他的神父告解。
"Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."
他说：“神父，二战伊始，一个美丽的犹太女人来敲我的门，要把她藏起来不让德国人找到。我于是把她藏在阁楼里，德国人也的确没能找到她。”
"That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by marrying me."
“这是件好事儿啊!”神父打断他说，“你根本没必要为这事儿来找我告解啊!” “但后来好事儿变成了坏事儿，”这个老人继续说到，“我不够坚定，我告诉她因为我帮了忙所以她必须以身相许来回报我。”
The priest contemplated this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of your acts, and judge you kindly."
神父想了一阵，回答说：“恩……那是个艰难的时期，你冒了很大风险。如果德国人发现你把她藏起来，你肯定会很惨。我相信，以上帝的智慧和宽容，他一定能从你的善与恶里找的平衡，饶恕你的罪。”
"Thank you Father," said the old man. "That's a load off my mind! Can I ask another question?"
“谢谢你神父!你这么说我轻松多了!我能再问个问题吗?”
"Of course, my son," said the priest.
“你问，孩子。”
The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"
“我是不是也必须告诉她二战已经结束了呢?”
大学英语笑话故事：钱不用找了
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it wasoverpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.
在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents.Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.
我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的。他说这是个原则问题。最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋，拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。“零钱不用找了。”他说。
大学英语笑话故事：地狱来信
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
一个伊利诺伊州男人离开他已经开始下雪的芝加哥的家、要去南方的福罗里达州度假。他的太太也正好在福罗里达出差，准备第二天跟他碰面。他到了酒店之后，打算先给她太太去一封邮件。
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
因为找不到写下他太太邮件地址的那张纸条，所以他决定凭记忆发出这封信。可惜，他在输入地址的时候漏掉了一个字母，因而把这封邮件发到了另一位夫人的邮箱，这位夫人的牧师丈夫头天才刚刚过世。这个悲伤的寡妇打开邮箱，读完信后哀嚎一声、倒在地板上就死了。
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
她的家人闻声赶来，发现电脑屏幕上留着这么一封信：
Dearest Wife,
亲爱的老婆：
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
我刚刚住进来，一切都准备好了，就等你来。
Your Loving Husband.
你亲爱的老公。
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
另：这下面还真是热。(原意指福罗里达州在芝加哥南部)
