爱华网冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。本文是关于爆笑英文笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
关于爆笑英文笑话：First In Heaven
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."
The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."
"Very good," said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this". "Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?". Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, "Your feet." The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.
He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!', but fortunately Dad was on top of her holding her down."
关于爆笑英文笑话：Teenagers
A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.
Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver's license.
A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music loud and very loud.
An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.
A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.
关于爆笑英文笑话：Who is this calling?
The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Kelly deciding to skip school(逃学，旷课) and go to the mall(购物商场，林荫路) with her friends waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself. This is the actual(真实的，实际的) conversation of the telephone call.
Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly Richardson is unable to make it to(赶上，到达) school today because she is ill.
Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?"
Kelly: "This is my mother."
关于爆笑英文笑话：It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的错
妈妈(正教训她的女儿)：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
关于爆笑英文笑话：I Just Want $100
Sammy prayed every night for two weeks, asking God for $100.
When he got no response, he thought it would be a good idea to write to God and see if that worked.
The post office received the letter addressed to “God, Los Angeles.” They decided that it would be best to just forward the letter to the mayor. The mayor read the letter and thought it was cute, so he asked his secretary to send the boy $10, thinking the boy would think that was a lot of money for a little boy.
When Sammy got the money, he was so excited that he sat down immediately to write a thank-you letter.
“Dear God,” he wrote, “Thank you very much for the money you sent. I guess it is to be expected but I thought you should know this: When you sent it through City Hall, the government deducted(扣除，减去) $90.”
