爱华网幽默与笑话是人们生活中的精神乐趣 ,是人们智慧与文化的结晶。下面是小编带来的笑到爆炸的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
笑到爆炸的英语笑话篇一
A Proud Father 骄傲的老爸
The concerned father was puzzled because his son’s grades had been dropping steadily while he was at college, so he called the dean to find out what was wrong.
一位关心儿子的老爸对于念大学的儿子成绩每况愈下一直想不懂，因此他拜访了学院的院长，想了解究竟问题在哪里。
“Well, sir,” relied the dean, who always tried to be diplomatic, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that your son’s become the most flagrant homosexual on campus, and spends all his time chasing after the lads on the football and basketball teams.”
说话总是讲求圆滑的院长回答说：“先生，我有好消息和坏消息要告诉你。坏消息是令郎乃是闻名校内的同性恋者，他成天只知道追求足球队和篮球队的男孩子。”
“My God, that’s horrible!”
“我的老天爷，太可怕了!”
“But the good news is he’s just been elected Queen of the Homecoming Parade!”
“但好消息是他刚被选为欢迎球队返校游行的皇后!”
笑到爆炸的英语笑话篇二
And Where Did You Meet Your Wife? 你在哪里遇到你太太呢?
Two acquaintances were in the barber shop getting shaves at the same time. After the barbers had finished, each man was asked if he would like some after-shave applied to his skin.
两个熟识的朋友刚好同时在理发店内刮胡子。理发师刮完他们的胡子后，两人都被问到要不要在脸上抹上一些刮胡子后所使用的香水。
“No, no,” answered the first man. “My wife will think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”
“不，不，”第一个先生说。“我太太会以为我去过妓院。”
“Go ahead,” said the other. “My wife has never been in a whorehouse!”
“我没关系，”另一个先生说道“。我太太从没在妓院待过!”
笑到爆炸的英语笑话篇三
Thirstin’ for Love 渴望爱情
Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend’s apartment from time to time, but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse.
沙斯敦经常去他女友的公寓住处，但他总是设法找个理由以免太晚回家。
But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep, and it was 2:00 a.m. before Thurston came to. Thinking fast, he immediately called home, and when his wife answered, panted, “Don’t pay the ransom! I’ve escaped!”
但这一次，他和女朋友都睡着了，当他醒来时都已经凌晨两点了，沙斯敦脑筋一转，立刻打电话回家，当他太太接电话时，他故意喘着气说“：千万不要付赎金!我已经安全逃出来了!”
笑到爆炸的英语笑话篇四
A Touching Farewell 一个感人的告别
Two old friends were out golfing. As they were preparing to tee off near a road, a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed.
两个老朋友出外打高尔夫球，当他们在一处路旁准备开球时，一列出殡送葬车队恰巧经过那里，其中一位朋友脱去帽子放在胸前，直到车队通过后才戴上帽子。
“Well, that was good manners on your part,” said his partner.
“你这样做实在很有礼貌，”他的同伴说道。
“Oh, it was the least I could do. After all, we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday.”
“喔，那只不过是我最起码所能做的事了。毕竟，到下星期二我们结婚就满三十年了。”
笑到爆炸的英语笑话篇五
As the years turn
生日来临之际
For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.)When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "
我奶奶过82岁的生日时，我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的生日贺卡。(根据规定，80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。)当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时，她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家，再也没有隐私了，他们就连你的生日都追踪着。”
