爱华网笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。下面是小编带来的爆笑到不行的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇一
病人和他的大夫
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”
爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇二
执行指令
My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.
我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。他们得到的地址只说沿着某条路一直走，当看到一头牛拴在蒸笆柱上时，就向右转。
While Gilbert was driving along slowly，he came upon a farmer leading a cow down the road. Assuming this was his landmark, he stopped and asked the man where his cow had been tied. After Gilbert explained why he wanted to know， the farmer took the cow back and tied it to the post. All the loads got delivered.
正当吉尔波特开车续续前进时，他看见一位农夫牵着一头牛沿路而来。他猜测这就是他要找的地方。他停下了车问那位农夫，他的牛刚才拴在什么地方。在吉尔波特向农夫说明了他为什么想知道这个问题的答案之后，那位农夫把牛牵回来，把它拴在柱子止，所有的货都运到了此地。
爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇三
母亲与教师
I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother，I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied，“It degends on who has the pencil."
我教初中的唱诗班，偶尔会教到自己的孩子。一天，我儿子问我是否能借给他一支铅笔。作为一位老师，我一般不借东西给那些不做课堂准备的学生。但作为一位母亲，我应随时帮助我的孩子。于是，我问儿子他是在跟老师说话，还是在跟母亲说话。而他却说:“那要看谁有铅笔了。”
爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇四
聪明的大夫
As a doctor is examining a patient, his nurse bursts in and says”Excuse me，but that man you just treated walked out of the door and collapsed on the front step. What should I do?"
大夫正为一个病人做检查时，她的护士闯了进来说:“请原谅，刚才在您这儿看病的那位病人出门时摔在前面的台阶上了，我该怎么办呢?”
"Turn him around，"the doctor answered，"So it looks like he was walking in.”
大夫回答:“给他转个身，这样，别人看起来会以为他是正往里走。”
爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇五
沙丁鱼的抱怨
Two sardines were swimming in New York harbor when one suggested they go up to the Bronx for the weekend.”I'd rather not，"the other objected. "It's such a long swim."
两条沙丁鱼在纽约港游水，其中的一条建议到布朗恩斯(Bronx)去度周末。另一条沙丁鱼反对说:“我认为最好不去。要游的距离太长了。”
"How about taking the subway?'his companion asked.
“那么从地铁通道过去怎么样?”他的同伴问。
"No way!"replied the second sardine."And be packed in there like people?"
“不可能，”第二条沙丁鱼说:“难选要像人类那样到地铁里去乱挤吗?”
