爱华网下面是小编整理的英语经典冷笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
英语经典冷笑话：An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: Anyone knows the formula for water?
Sure. That's easy, said one man.
What is it?
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
What, what? reasked the instructor.
H to O, explained the chemistry expert.
生化战争课的老师在课堂上问士兵们：谁知道水的分子式?
当然，太简单了。一个士兵回答道。
是什么?
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
什么，什么?老师又问道。
H to O，化学专家解释道。
英语经典冷笑话:Seth Smith was reckoned the laziest man in town. Sotired had the authorities become of contributing to his supportthat they decided to consign him to a living tomb. Accordinglyhe was prepared for burial. The hearse was an old ramshacklecountry wagon.
As the strange cortege moved along some old residentasked, Who is it?
Why, Seth Smith, who is too lazy to get anything to liveon, so we are going to bury him alive.
I'll give him a bushel of corn, said one. And I will，said another.
Slowly raising his head, Seth asked: Is the corn shelled，neighbor?
No，you must do that yourself.
Gently replacing his head, he said: Drive on, boys, drive on.
塞思·史密斯被公认为镇上头号懒人。长官们实在懒得 再供养他，便决定把他送进一个天然坟墓里去。于是他被准备着去埋葬，灵车是一辆摇摇晃晃的乡下旧马车。
正当这列奇怪的送葬队伍在行进时，一些老街坊问道：这是谁啊?
唉，塞思·史密斯，他懒得没法活了，我们这就去把他活埋。
我来给他一蒲式耳谷子吧，一个人说。我也给，另一个说。
塞思慢慢抬起头来问道：谷子脱粒了吗，街坊?
没有，你得自己来。
他缓缓把头放回原处说：接着走吧，孩子们，接着走吧。
英语经典冷笑话:A Jealous WifeThere was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night
and she couldn’t find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, Great, so now you’
re cheating on me with a bald woman!
The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume, she yelled again by
saying, She’s not only bald, but she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!
吃醋的妻子
从前有个妻子醋劲很大。一天晚上丈夫回家，她没有从他衣服上找到头发，于是大叫：好啊，现在你开始和秃头的女人骗我了!
第二天晚上，她没有从丈夫衣服上闻到香水味，于是又大叫：她不但是个秃头，而且很穷酸，连香水都不买。
英语经典冷笑话：The World's Greatest SwordsmanAt an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.
Why are you so happy? someone yelled. You missed!
Ah, replied the swordsman, you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father.
世界上最伟大的击剑手
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来，剑划了一个弧，他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默，人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。
他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来--然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标，然而他还在微笑着。
你为什么这么高兴?有人嚷道，你没击中!
啊，剑手答道，你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着，是的--但他永远也做不成爸爸了。
英语经典冷笑话：合理的忧伤On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.
马修·普赖厄 可怜的鲁宾躺在他的病床里; 他的妻子陷入绝望; 频频啜泣，相对哭啼， 他们都表达着忧伤。 “不同原因，”滑头牧师说， “可产生同样结果： 可怜的鲁宾怕他会死; 他老婆，怕他会活。”
英语经典冷笑话：Compare other things?比一下其他?Compare other things?比一下其他?
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.
儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。
妈妈：你只关心这个吗?不会比一下其它东西?
儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。
