爱华网你听到一个很好笑的笑话，很快便忘记，但是你听到一个悲剧，却会记着很久。悲哀总是比较刻骨铭心，梦也一样。本文是爆笑英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
爆笑英语笑话：Favorite Cookies
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.
一位濒临死亡的老人正躺在他的床上，承受着死亡的煎熬。突然一股香味顺着楼下飘了上来，那正是他最喜欢的巧克力小薄饼的味道。他用尽吃奶的力气挣扎着从床上爬了起来，倚着墙，慢慢地走出了卧室，并且用最后的力量用双手抓住扶手走下了楼梯。老人靠在门框上，嘴里喘着气，眼睛凝神着厨房。
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
如果不是因为承受着临死的痛苦，老人会认为自己到了天堂。那里，在厨房铺着报纸的桌子上，确切地说有数百个他最喜欢吃的巧克力小薄饼。真在天堂吗?还是他那离婚妻子的最后一次英雄般的爱心显示，以便让他开心地离开这个世界?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shockingly made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
集中最后的力量，老人跪着双膝挣扎着移向桌子。他口干舌燥，嘴巴张开。他感受到了美妙的甜饼味道，仿佛要将他带回人世。他的一只年迈干瘪的手颤颤悠悠地伸向桌子边缘的一只小甜饼。突然，他妻子扔过一把铲子，砸在他的手上。
Stay out of those, she said, they're for the funeral.
“离远点”，他妻子说。“这是为你的葬礼准备的。”
爆笑英语笑话：Your Coat Is on Fire
The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!
老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。 第二天，当老师背靠着火炉讲课时，发现好几个学生的嘴唇在很快地不停地动。突然，全班学生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老师，您的大衣着火了!”
爆笑英语笑话：Class, Lass and Ass
班级、情人和蠢驴
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,so he wrote some words on theblackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.
汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”。
A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked upand erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walkedback, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erasedthe l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.
一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将“class”中的“c”擦掉，将意思变为“汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面”。教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，
