爱华网冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格。下面小编整理了超短超简单英文笑话，希望大家喜欢!
超短超简单英文笑话摘抄
原来如此 That's Why
Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already verygood at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of moneyfor them. They said, "This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and then we're goingto sell these pictures for a lot more money." Jimmy's pictures were different from other people'sbecause he never painted on all of the paper. He painted on half of it, and the other half wasalways empty. "That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!" One day somebodybought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, "Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do youpaint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?" "Because I'm small," Jimmysaid, "and my burshes don't reach very high."
吉米三岁开始画画，五岁时已经画得很好了。他画了很多美丽而有趣的画，人们出高价购买。他们说，“这个孩子长大一点肯定会出名，我们可以靠这些画大赚一笔。” 吉米的画与众不同。因为他从来不在整张纸上作画。他只画一半的纸，而另一半他总空着。 “构思多么巧妙啊!”大家都说，“从来没有人这么做过。” 有一天，一个人买了吉米的画，然后问他：“请告诉我，吉米，你为什么总是在纸的下半部分画画，而不是在纸的上半部分?” 吉米说，“因为我个头小，够不着上面。”
超短超简单英文笑话鉴赏
天气预报 Weather forecast
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the directorand said, "It will rain tomorrow." The next day it rained.
一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处进行拍摄。一天，一个印度老人来到导演面前对他说：“明天会下雨。”第二天果然下雨了。
A week later, the Indian went up to the director again and said, "There will be a stormtomorrow." The next day there was a storm.
一周以后，印度人又来了，他告诉导演说：“明天会有暴风雨。”果然，第二天有暴风雨。
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predictthe weather.
“这个印度人真神，”导演说。他告诉他的秘书去雇佣这个印度人来预测天气。
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
然而，几次预测天气成功之后，这个印度人连续两周没有露面。
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot an important scene tomorrow," said thedirector. "And I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
最后，导演派人把这个印度人请来了。导演对他说：“我明天必须拍摄一个很重要的场景，全都指望你了，明天天气如何啊?”
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know," he said. "My radio is broken."
这个印度人耸了耸肩说道：“我不知道，我的收音机坏了。”
超短超简单英文笑话赏析
研究生班和本科生的区别
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in oneof my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.
"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But thegraduate students just write it down."
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。
“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”
超短超简单英文笑话欣赏
Three pastors
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summerstarted I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away. "
Another said, "Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been hadthe place fumigated, and they still won’t go away. "
The third said,"I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen oneback since!"
三个牧师的故事
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”
另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”
第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员……从此一只也没有再回来过。”
超短超简单英文笑话品味
到底谁欠谁钱
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meatfrom my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" Thelawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roastfrom me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Severaldays later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for aconsultation.
律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗?律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写道：咨询费250美元。
