爱华网英语笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。本文是爆笑英语笑话故事，希望对大家有帮助!
爆笑英语笑话故事：我想不到已经往回跑了这么远!
A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing， and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this， one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him， so he leftthe front line and began to go away from the battle. After hehad walked for an hour，he saw an officer coming towardshim. The officer stopped him and said，“ where are you going?”
“I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battlethat's going on behind us， sir，” the soldier answered.
“Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily.“I'm your commanding officer.”
The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said，“My God，I didn't know that I was so far back already!”
第一次世界大战期间，一场大战役正在进行。枪炮轰鸣，炮弹和子弹到处乱飞。这样过了一个小时后，一个士兵认定战斗对他来说变得太危险了，所以他离开前线开始逃离战场。步行了一个小时之后，他看见一个军官向他走过来。那军官叫住他说：“你要到哪儿去?”
“长官，我正尽可能远地躲开我们身后正在进行的战役，”士兵回答说。
“你知道我是谁吗?”军官生气地对他说：“我是你的指挥官。”
那士兵听到此话感到非常惊讶，说：“天哪，我想不到我已经往回跑了这么远了!”
爆笑英语笑话故事：An Urgent Standby Passenger
While in Korea, Gov. Mike Smith of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge the Seoul airport, awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment , his press secretary, Jenny Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.
After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U. S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before take-off.
Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Smith of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger.It was Varela.
紧急待机乘客
在韩国时，犹他州的州长麦克·史密斯正在汉城机场的要人休息室里休息。他在等着飞往日本的航班。与此同时，他的新闻秘书、詹妮·维蕾拉，在售票房被告知没票了。
她坚持说要乘此航班，因为她是一位美国的州长的随员，这样美国大使馆的一位副官介入了。维蕾拉拿到一张待机票并赶在飞机起飞前登了机。
略略镇定后，维蕾拉到机舱前部去告诉史密斯她的经历。他不在那儿。她后来得知，有人告知州长，他的飞行被一位紧急待机乘客冲撞掉了。这个人就是维蕾拉。
爆笑英语笑话故事：What Was It She Wanted?
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer.“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon.” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week.” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?”
“Rain.” said the clerk.
她要买什么?
一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：“不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。”经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：“当然，马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。”然后经理把店员拉到一边：“千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么——说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。现在你说她要买什么?”
爆笑英语笑话故事：In the air
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
"Let's go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven't been anywhere for a long time."
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I'm not going to spend much money. We'll look at things, but we won't buy anything. "
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt's wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn't want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
"I've only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn't selling many tickets, so he said, "I'll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn't scream or shout, she can have a free flight."
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn't make a sound. She can have her ride free."
"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn't easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."
在空中
麦特和妻子住在乡下。麦特很吝啬，讨厌花钱。一天附近的镇子逢集。
“我们去赶集，麦特，”妻子说。“我们很久没出去了。”
麦特想了一会儿。他知道在集市上一定得花钱。最后他说：“好吧，但我不打算花太多钱。我们只看不买。”
他们去集市，看看所有可买的东西。有很多东西麦特的妻子想买，但麦特不让她买。
然后在附近的露天场地，他们看到一架小飞机。
“有趣的飞行。”海报上写着，“10分钟10美元。”
麦特从来没有乘过飞机，所以他想乘一次小飞机。然而他不想付他妻子的票钱。
“我只带了10美元，”他对飞机驾驶员说，“我妻子能免费和我一起乘飞机吗?”驾驶员没卖出多少票，所以他说：“我和你做个交易。如果你妻子不尖叫，也不叫出声来，她就能免费飞行。”
麦特同意了，他和妻子一起登上了飞机。
飞机起飞了，驾驶员让飞机做出各种各样的动作。有一会儿飞机倒着飞行。
飞机着陆时，驾驶员说，“好吧，你妻子没发出任何声响。她就不用买飞机票了。”
“谢谢，”麦特说，“你知道，这对她不容易，特别当她刚才掉下去的时候。”
