爱华网英语作为一门国际通用语,在21世纪已经向着多元化、多功能化的方向发展。下面是小编带来的简单短的英语文章，欢迎阅读!
简单短的英语文章1A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner.
Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything xiaogushi8.com remarked：“That's extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”
“Not really,” came the reply. “I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”
一个盲人领着一只导盲犬站在十字路口处等着过马路。就在这个时候，导盲犬把腿一抬，开始往主人身上撒尿。
这个盲人十分平静地从口袋里拿出了一块饼干给狗吃。一个过路人刚好看到了这一切，很不解地说：“你的脾气真好，尤其是那只狗都做了这样的事情，你还给它饼干吃。”
“事实并非如此。”盲人回答说，“我只是想弄清楚它的嘴在哪里，这样一来，我就可以踢它的屁股了。”
简单短的英语文章2A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said,“When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked,“What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied,“Then you ask him.”
一个小女孩和她的老师正在谈论有关鲸鱼的事情。
她的老师说：“一头鲸鱼从身体构造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一个人的。因为尽管鲸鱼是一种非常巨大的哺乳动物，可它的嗓子非常小。”
那个小女孩说：“约拿(一位西伯来先知)就是被鲸鱼吞掉的。”
她的老师非常生气，她再次告诉小女孩说：“从身体构造角度来讲，鲸鱼是不可能吞掉一个人的。”
那个小女孩说：“那等我到了天堂，就去问问约拿。”
她的老师问：“那么，假如约拿下了地狱怎么办?”
那个小女孩回答：“如果是那样的话，你就去问他。”
简单短的英语文章3While Milgrom waited at the airport to board his plane, he noticed a computer scale that would give your weight and a fortune.
He dropped a quarter in the slot, and the computer screen displayed：“You weigh 195 xiaogushi8.com pounds, you're married and you're on your way to San Diego.” Milgrom stood there dumbfounded.
Another man put in a quarter and the computer read：“You weigh 184 pounds, you're divorced and you're on your way to Chicago.”
Milgrom was amazed. Then he rushed to the men's room, changed his xiaogushi8.com clothes and put on dark glasses. He went to the machine again. The computer read:“You still weigh 195 pounds, you're still married, and you just missed your plane to San Diego!”
米尔格鲁姆在机场等待登机的时候，注意到了一个电脑秤，它既能称体重又能算命。
他把一个两毛五的硬币丢进电脑秤的一个小孔里，电脑屏幕上显示出这样一行字：“你的体重是195磅，你已经结婚，你将要去往圣迭戈。”米尔格鲁姆顿时站在那里发起了愣。
又有一个人过来了， 他也把硬币丢进电脑秤里，屏幕上显示：“你的体重是184磅，你已经离婚了，你将要去往芝加哥。”
米尔格鲁姆很是惊讶。于是，他冲进洗手间，换了一套衣服，戴上了墨镜，又一次走到电脑称前。这次屏幕上显示：“你的体重依然是195磅，你依然是个结了婚的人。只是你刚刚错过飞往圣迭戈的飞机。”
简单短的英语文章4Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, “Do come and see me at my house in the country.” So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, “This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city.”
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, “ Run! Run! The cat is coming!” They ran away quickly and hid.
After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, “I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid.”
从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢?你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑!快跑!猫来了!”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
