爱华网笑话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。本文是英语冷笑话带中文翻译，希望对大家有帮助!
英语冷笑话带中文翻译：长寿秘诀
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.
“我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，”那女士说。
"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."
“我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。”
"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman.
“哦，真神奇，”女士说。
"How old are you?"
“你高寿?”
"Twenty-six."
“二十六。”
英语冷笑话带中文翻译：控制女人的男人
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.God comes and says "I want the men to make twolines.One line for the men that dominated their women on earthand the other line for the menthat were whipped by their women.Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
世上的每一个人都上了天堂 神说 :" 要男人分成两队 , 一是在世上控制女人的男人 ,另一是被女人鞭打的男人 .另外女子自成一队 , 跟着圣彼德去 ."
Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the menthat were whipped was 100 mileslong,and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.
队伍列好后 , 一是被女人鞭打的 ,有 100 英里长 , 一是在世上控制女人的 ,仅有一人 .
God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.I created you in my imageand you were all whipped by your mates.Look at the only one of my sons that stood up andmade me proud.Learn from him! Tell them, my son,how did you manage to be the only one onthat line?"The man said, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
神生气的说 :" 你们男人应该感到羞耻 ,我按照自己的形象创造了你们 ,而你们被女子鞭打 . 看看 , 我唯一的儿子 ,站着使我骄傲 . 你们应该向他学习 .告诉他们 , 儿子 ,你如何成为唯一站在这一队上的 ?"这男子回说 :" 我不知道 , 我太太叫我站在这的 !"
英语冷笑话带中文翻译：猪还是女巫
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"
他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!"
那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pigin the middle of the road.
他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。
If only men would listen.
要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
英语冷笑话带中文翻译：The World's Greatest Swordsman
世界上最伟大的击剑手
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来，剑划了一个弧，他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默，人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.
他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来——然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标，然而他还在微笑着。
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"
“你为什么这么高兴?”有人嚷道，“你没击中!”
"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."
“啊，”剑手答道，“你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着，是的——但他永远也做不成爸爸了。”
