爱华网幽默与笑话同是社会交往活动中不可缺少的交际手段,探索幽默与笑话的区别,认为有意与无意、含蓄与直白、复杂与简单、创新与故旧是区分幽默与笑话的重要标准。下面是小编带来的小学的简单的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
小学的简单的英语笑话篇一
顾全面子
Once there was a scholar who was very poor，but was very much concerned with his reputation. One evening，a thief broke into the scholar’s house，but he could find nothing worth stealing. So he said，"What bad lucky Ihave hit upon a real beggars”Hearing this，the scholar fished out little money he had from his bed head，and went after the thief. He stopped the thief and whispered to him，"You come at a most inopportune time. Would you please make do with this little money2 But for Heaven’s sake don’t talk about it in front of anyone else.By all means leave me a little face，eh?”
从前有个读书人家里很穷，却很爱面子。一天晚上，小偷到他家来行窃，却没有东西值得一偷，就说:“晦气，我算碰到真正的穷鬼了!”读书人听见了，就从床头摸出仅有的几文钱，追上去拦住小偷，轻轻地说:“你来得真不巧。请将就些把这些钱拿去。不过在人家面前，你可千万不要随便说，给我留点面子啊。”
小学的简单的英语笑话篇二
葬礼何时举行?
一天课后，我儿子有一个重要的约会，那时他在劳伦斯的堪萨斯大学任助教。他穿上白衬衣，戴上领带，套上正统的深色西装。正要离开房间的时候，他发现鼠夹上夹了一只老鼠。他小心谨慎地拿着鼠夹，向垃圾堆走去。有位教授碰巧路过，看到此番情景，问道:“葬礼何时举行?”
My son,a teaching assistant at the University of Kansas in Lawrence，had an important appointment after class one day. He put on a white shirt，a tie and a conservative dark suit. As he was leaving his apartment，he noticed his mouse trap had a victim.Holding the trap carefully out in front of him，he walked to the dump. A professor happened by，took in the situation and asked，"What time is the funeral?”
小学的简单的英语笑话篇三
A man was wandering around in a field ,
有名男子在田野里徘徊
thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her,
心里想着他的老婆对他有多么好，他多么幸运拥有她。
He asked God,"Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
他问上帝：“你为什么要把她造得这么心地善良?”
The Lord responded,"So you could love her ,my son."
主响应说：“我儿 呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
“你为什么要把她造得这么貌美呢?”
"So you could love her,my son ."
“我儿呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
“你为什么要把她造成一个很会做饭菜的人呢?”
"So you could love her,my son."
“我儿呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
The man thought about this.
这名男子想了一下这件事。
Then he said ," I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything,but,why did you make her sostupid? "
然后他说:“我并不是有意好像我不知好歹，或是什么的,可是，你为什么把她造得这么笨?”
"So she could love you,my son."
“ 我儿呀，这样她就会爱你呀。”
小学的简单的英语笑话篇四
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
有一名男子正走在街上的时候听到一个声音：
"Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
“停!站住不要动瞅口果你再走一步，就会有一个砖块掉到你的头上砸死你。”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
这名男子停住了，一个大砖块就掉在他的面前。
The man was astonished .
这名男子非常惊讶。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.
他继续向前走：不久后，他要穿越马路。
Once again the voice shouted;
那个声音再次叫说：
Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."
“停!站住不要动，如果你再走一步，就会有一辆汽车辗过你，你就会死掉。”
The man did as he was instructed,
这名男子因为曾被指示过，所以就照着做，
just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.
此时正好有一辆汽车左摇右晃地冲过转角处，差一点撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "
这名男子问说：“你在哪里?你是谁?”
"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.
这个声音回答说：“我是你的守护天使。…”
"Oh yeah?" the man asked."And where the hell were you when I got married?"
这名男子问说：“喔，是吗?那我结婚的时候：你死到哪里去了?”
小学的简单的英语笑话篇五
Helen was on her deathbed ,
海伦躺在她临终的病床上奄奄一息。
with her husband Jack at her side.
她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
他握着她冰冷的手，泪水静静地从他的脸上流下来。
Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"
她苍白的嘴唇颤动着。她说：“杰克，”
Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."
他很快就打断说：“嘘，不要说话。”
But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.
但是她坚持要说。她以疲惫的声音说：
"I have to talk.I must confess.”
“杰克，我一定要说。我必须向你坦白。”
"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.
满脸泪水的杰克说：“没什么好坦白的。
"It's all right.Everything's all right."
没关系。一切都没事。”
"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."
“不，不，我必须死得安心。我一定要坦白我对你不忠;红杏出墙。”
Jack stroked her hand .
杰克抚摸着她的手。
"Now ,Helen,don't be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.
他啜泣着说：“海伦 ，现在你不要担心了。我全部都知道了。
"Why else would I poison you ?"
不然我为什幺要毒死你呀?"
