英文笑话大全 爆笑 爆笑英文笑话带翻译大全

民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样,是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中,以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。小编整理了爆笑英文笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读!

爆笑英文笑话带翻译:The Looney Bin

疯人院

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:“我是拿破仑!”另一个说:“你怎么知道?”

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

第一个人说:“上帝对我说的!”

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:“我没说!”

爆笑英文笑话带翻译:FUTURE

未来

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about thefuture until he gets a wife.

女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来;男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。

爆笑英文笑话带翻译:One Side of the Case

一面之辞

A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one manraised his hand.

一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。

"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。

"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

“你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。

"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of thecase at a time."

“你将被允许加入陪审团,”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。”

爆笑英文笑话带翻译:A Smugglar

走私犯

The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. Whenthe guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.

一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境,哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时,惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。

"What's in here?" he asked.

“里面装的是什么?”他问道。

英文笑话大全 爆笑 爆笑英文笑话带翻译大全

"Dirt," the driver replied.

“土。”司机回答。

"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

“把袋子拿出来”,哨兵命令道:“我要检查。”

Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothingbut dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实,口袋里除了土以外,别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。

A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

一周后,那人又来了,哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。

"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

“这次袋子里装的是什么?”他问道。

"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

“土,又运了一些土。”那人回答。

Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

哨兵不相信,对那些袋子又进行了检查,结果发现,除了土以外,仍旧一无所获。

The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to theguard that he quit and became a bartender.

同样的事情每周重演一次,一共持续了六个月。最后,哨兵被弄得灰心丧气,干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。

Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying overto him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me afavor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."

有天夜里,那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧,下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说,“我说,老兄,你要是能帮我一个忙,今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我,那段时间你到底在走私什么东西?”

Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."

那人俯身过来,凑近侍者的耳朵,裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说:“汽车。”

  

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