笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。本文是关于简单好笑的英语笑话,希望对大家有帮助!
关于简单好笑的英语笑话:After The Funeral
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in and poured him out on the counter.
Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blowjob I promised you? Here it comes..."
关于简单好笑的英语笑话:Which Way?
The rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack the gentleman had. When the squad got there is was too late and the man had died.
While consoling the wife one of the rescuers noticed that the bed was a mess. He asked the lady what symptoms the man had suffered and if anything had precipitated the heart attack.
The lady replied, "Well, we were in the bed making love and he started moaning,groaning, thrashing about the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought he was coming, but I guess he was going."
关于简单好笑的英语笑话:Ask Another Doctor
The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't that good in bed either!"
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. "What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?"
"I was in bed."
"What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"Getting a second opinion"
关于简单好笑的英语笑话:Simple Division
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:
Dear Wife (that's what he called her):
I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.
When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband (that's what she called him): I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old toy boy.
You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.
关于简单好笑的英语笑话:10 ways to know if you have PMS
Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving - call 1-800-***-****."
Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
You're counting down the days until menopause.
You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.