爱华网笑话以其短小的篇幅,洗练的文笔,幽默的情节,独有的魅力吸引着我们每一个人,成为大家茶余饭后的调味剂。下面是小编带来的让人笑不停的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
让人笑不停的英语笑话篇一
Open-book exam开卷考试
ON THE DAY of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks.
我在加利福尼亚的圣玛丽亚市一所社区大学读书。期末考试那天，听说书店在回购我们的工商管理课本。
Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.
考试前，我们几个赶忙跑到书店把书卖了，随后，我们坐在教室里等着考试。这时候教授宣布：考虑到试题的难度，今天的考试我们决定开卷。
让人笑不停的英语笑话篇二
Taking attendance 点名
On my first day of classes at my University I took a front-row seat in my literature course.
大学的第一天，文学课我坐在了前排。
The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began,
教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书，他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。随后他缓步走上讲台，拿出课本，
"Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."
“贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克…”为了写下所有的名字，我不得不疯狂的作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀，坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我：“他在点名呢。”
让人笑不停的英语笑话篇三
你太晚了 You are too late
On a bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. MY wife did it before you."
在公共汽车上，有个人发现小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里o
"对不起,"他对小偷说，"你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。”
让人笑不停的英语笑话篇四
What is your offense 你做了什么坏事
It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?”
圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦地问犯人：“你做了什么坏事啊?”
“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.
“我今年圣诞节购物早了些”犯人回答。
“There's nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. How early were you doing this shopping?”
“这么做没错啊，”法官说：“到底多早之前啊?“
“Before the store opened, ”answered the prisoner.
“商店开门之前“犯人答道。
让人笑不停的英语笑话篇五
Problem with gas
放屁的问题
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ¨Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never small and are always silent.
有位小老太太去看医生，她对医生说：”医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题，因为我放屁不臭而且没声音。
As a matter Of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know l was farting because they don't smell and are silent.” The doctor says, ¨I see, Here's aprescription.
事实上，自从我进了你办公室后，已经放了至少20个屁了，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。"医生说：“好的，我明白了。
Take these piles 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, ¨I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent... stink terribly.
吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。一个星期后，老太太来了，¨医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音。
The doctor says, “Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
但是怎么这么臭"医生说：太好了!既然你的嗅觉正常了，门开始治听觉吧。¨
