爱华网英语冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。本文是爆笑英语笑话加翻译，希望对大家有帮助!
爆笑英语笑话加翻译：Dad seeking praise 老爸求赞美
5-year-old daughter, wanting her father to help her do something.
Father: "I'm so tired, if you praise me, I'll Be fresh."
Daughter: "Lao Zheng!"
Dad: "Hey!"
Daughter: "Your chick looks really nice ah ......"
5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。
老爸：“爸爸很累啦，你夸我两句吧，你夸我两句我就又有劲了。”
女儿：“老郑!”
老爸：“哎!”
女儿：“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……”
爆笑英语笑话加翻译：Traffic lights are so pretty
交通灯真美
In the side of the bank, there is a crossroads, is the only way that I go home every day.
One evening, I drove the car home with the three-year-old daughter, came to theembankment(路堤), from afar, I saw a few traffic lights are out, the crossroads were in bad ...
Each traffic light red, yellow, green light, all the bright backdrop in a sunset, is truly beautiful. I quickly called my daughter to enjoy this rare beauty: "Honey, see, is it not very pretty in front of all the traffic lights lamp light?"
Daughter look and said: "Wow! Is nice! Who are they repaired them?"
在堤岸边有个十字路口，是我每天回家的必经之路。
一天黄昏，我开车车载着三岁的女儿回家，来到堤岸，从远处看去，只见十字路口的几只红绿灯都出了故障……
每只红绿灯的红﹑黄﹑绿灯都全部亮起，在晚霞衬托下，煞是好看。我赶紧叫我的女儿欣赏这难得一见的美景：“女儿你看，前面所有红绿灯的每盏灯都亮了，是不是很漂亮?”
女儿看后说道：“哇!好漂亮啊!是谁把他们修好的?”
爆笑英语笑话加翻译：It's Always Me
总是我
A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?" The oldest son replied: "Father, I'll eat it all!" The father then said: "Tomorrow I'm going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?" The same son answered: "Father, I'll eat it all!" The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?" The oldest son answered again: "It's always me, always me. Now it's someone else's turn to volunteer!"
一位父亲对他的儿子们说：“你们的妈妈明天要烙一张馅饼，谁要吃呢?” 大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。” 父亲接着说：“明天我要杀一口猪，谁要吃呢?” 又是大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。” 父亲又说：“明天我们要耕地，谁想耕地呢?” 大儿子再次回答道：“总是我，总是我，这次还是让其他人来吧。”
爆笑英语笑话加翻译：The Advantage of Alcohol
酒的好处
In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol, soon the bug died.
The teacher asked a student, "What does this show?"
The student answered, "It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."
为了证明酒精对生物的危害，老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里，虫子很快就死了。
老师问一个学生：“这说明了什么?”
学生答道：“说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。”
爆笑英语笑话加翻译：Why aren't you listening
为什么不认真听课
Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening?
Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.
Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.
Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening?"
老师：杰克，你为什么不认真听课?
杰克：老师，我正在听课呀!
老师：如果你刚才在听课，那告诉我刚才我说的什么。
杰克：您说的是：“杰克，你为什么不认真听课?”
