爱华网笑话是一种目的在于刺激人发笑的民间叙事文学。下面是小编带来的长篇英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
长篇英语笑话带翻译精选
他是我的(中英)
There seems to be many more widows than widowers in my community. So it was nice to see a couple I know, married 51 years, doing their weekly food shopping together at our local market.
我住的那一带，寡妇似乎要比鳏夫多得多。因此，看到我认识的一对结婚已经51年的夫妇，每周一次一起在当地的商场里采购食品，真让人感到高兴。
He pushed the grocery cart as his wife, shopping list in hand placed each item in- side. When they went to the counter, she discovered that she had forgotten to pick up a package of prunes.
丈夫推着购物车，妻子手里拿着购物单，将每一样东西放进车里。当他们最后快要去结帐时，妻子发现她忘了拿上一盒话梅。
"You get the eggs and milk，”she told her husband. "I' 11 go back for the prunes and then catch up with you.”
“你去拿鸡蛋和牛奶，”她告诉丈夫。“我去取话梅，然后来追你。”
A few minutes later, prunes in hand, she found her husband in conversation with a woman of about her age. She listened to them for a minute as she approached the cart，then tossed in the prunes.
几分钟以后，她手里拿着话梅回来时，发现她的丈夫正在和一个年纪和她差不多的女人谈话。她向购物车走过去，听他们讲了一会儿，然后将话梅丢进车里。
Annoyed, the woman nudged her aside, whispering，"Get lost. He's mine!"
那个女人被激怒了，将她推到一边，低声说道:“走开，他是我的!”
长篇英语笑话带翻译阅读
有时是我的(中英)
Hank lived in a small town, but then he got a job in a big city and moved there with his wife and his two children.
汉克住在一个小镇上，但他在大城市中找了一份工作，于是她与妻子和两个孩子搬到了城里。
On the first Saturday in their new home, Hank took his new red car out of garage and was washing it when a neighbor came by. When he saw Hank's new car, the neighbor stopped and looked at it for a minute. Then Hank turned and saw him.
在搬到新居的第一个周末，汉克把他红色的新车从车库里开出来冲洗，这时有位邻居路过。看到汉克的新车，这位邻居驻足仔细看了一会儿。汉克转身时看见了他。
The neighbor said, "That’s a nice car. Is it yours?”
邻居说:“真是辆漂亮的轿车。是你的?”
“Sometimes ,” Hank answered.
“有时候是的。”汉克回答道。
The neighbor was surprised. “Sometimes?" hesaid, "Whatdoyoumean?"
邻居感到很费解:“有时候是你的?这是什么意思?”
"Well ,”answered Hank slowly , "when there’s a patty in town, it belongs to my daughter, Jane. When there's a football game somewhere , it belongs to my son , Joe. When I've washed it，and it looks really nice and clean , it belongs to my wife. And when it needs gas, it’s mine.”
“是这样的，”汉克慢慢地说道:“当镇上有聚会的时候，它属于我女儿简;当哪个地方有足球赛的时候，它属于我的儿子乔;当车子洗好以后，看起来又漂亮又干净，这时候它属于我妻子;当车子需要加油的时候，它就是我的了。”
长篇英语笑话带翻译学习
幸运的顾客(中英)
All the housewives who went to the new supermarket had one great ambition: to be the lucky customer who did not have to pay for her shopping. For this was what the notice just inside the entrance promised. It said: "remember, once a week，one of our customers gets free goods. This may be your lucky day!”
所有去新开张超市的主妇都有一个美好的愿望:成为一个购物不用交钱的幸运顾客。因为这是入口处的一则商店启事所承诺的。上面写着:“请记住，每周有一位顾客可以免费购物。今天也许就是您的幸运日!”
For several weeks Mrs. Edwards hoped, like many of her friends, to be the lucky customer. Unlike her friends, she never gave up hope. The cupboards in her kitchen were full of things, which she did not need. Her husband tried to advise her against buying things but failed. She dreamed of the day when the manager of the supermarket would approach her and say，"Madam, this is your lucky day. Everything in your basket is free.”
正像她的许多朋友一样，有好几个礼拜，爱德华太太都在盼望着自己会是那位幸运顾客。跟朋友不同的是，她从来不放弃这种期望。家里厨房的碗柜中都塞满了她并不需要的东西。她的丈夫劝她不要乱买东西，但是她不听。她梦想着有一天超市的经理走到她的面前对她说:“夫人，今天是您的幸运日，您篮子里的每样东西都是免费的。”
On Friday morning, after she had finished her shopping and taken it to her car, she found that she had forgotten to buy any tea. She dashed back to the supermarket, got the tea and went towards the cash desk. As she did so, she saw the manager of the supermarket approach her. "Madam，”he said, holding out his hand, "I want to congratulate you! You are our lucky customer and everything you have in your basket is free”
一个周五的早晨，她在采购完把东西放进车里后，发现自己忘记了买茶叶。她快步回到超市，取了茶叶后走向收银处。正在此时，他看到商店的经理朝她走来，“夫人，”说着他伸出手来，“我要恭喜您!您是我们的幸运顾客，您篮子里的所有东西都是免费的。”
