爱华网冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。本文是英文笑话故事，希望对大家有帮助!
英文笑话故事：All Right
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited￡¨???1￡? . "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."
"I guess it's all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."
英文笑话故事：A Good Boy 好孩子
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
"She is the one who sells the candy."
“她是个卖糖果的。”
英文笑话故事：老汉抬驴
Old Man And Donkey
There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.
The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions. Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such a small boy walk. The two decided that maybe they both should walk.
Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride. The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride.
They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal. The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.
As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story is...if you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
英文笑话故事：TWO HEARTS BEATING
Nurse: How do you feel after your operation?
Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.
Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.
两颗心脏在跳动
护士：手术后你感觉怎样?
病人：十分好，只是我能感觉到我体内有两颗心脏在跳动。
护士：怪不得给你做手术的大夫刚才在到处寻找他的手表。
英文笑话故事：AN ANGRY WIFE'S PRAYER
A man is so addicted to gambling that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. "I pray to God that you are speaking the truth", his wife says.
"May God strike me dead if I am lying."
"Then I pray to God that you are lying", his wife said hopefully.
一个发怒妻子的祈祷
一个男人因嗜赌而经常回家很晚，为此他妻子从没停止过骂他。一次他因工作很晚回到家后，他妻子指责他又去赌博了，可他发誓说这次是因为工作。"我祈祷上帝你说的是实话，"妻子说。
"如果我说谎上帝便赐我于死。"
"那我祈祷上帝你是在说谎。"他妻子充满希望地说。
