爱华网搞笑以一种幽默和嘲笑的方式使人们明白事物的本质,事物的发展轨迹和过程,人生的哲理、做人的道理和做人的道德规范。下面是小编带来的八年级的英语笑话精选，欢迎阅读!
八年级的英语笑话精选精选
Ways end Means
A man handed a pair of slacks to the department-store clerk. "I'd like these altered, please," he said. The clerk asked for the sales receipt, but after searching his pockets, the man replied he had lost it. The clerk informed him that it was store policy to do free alterations without a receipt.
"Okay, then, " the man said, "I'd I like to return the slacks. clerk processed the return and gave him cash equaling the cost of the slacks.
The man pushed the money back across the counter. "Now I want to buy the slacks, " he said. The clerk rang up the sale, bagged the slacks and handed them to him with a receipt.
Triumphantly, he put the slacks and the receipt on the counter. "I'd like to have these altered, please."
Notes:
(1) slacks n.宽松的裤子
(2) receipt n.收据
(3) process v.处理以保存
(4) ring up用收银机收钱
(5) bag v.打包;装入袋中
(6) triumphantly adv.获胜地;得意洋洋地
Exercises:
根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、误(F)：
① The man wanted to alter the shoes he bought .
② The clerk asked the man for the sales receipt .
③ It was the store's policy that free alterations without a receipt allowed but a return without a receipt was alright.
④ The clerk was angry with what the man required.
⑤ The man got his slacks altered.
40.花招
一位男子把一条宽松裤递给百货商店职员。“我想换一条。”他说。店员向他要售货收据。这位男子翻遍了他的口袋，最后只得说收据丢了。店员告诉他说没有收据不准随意更换，这是商店的规章。
“那好吧，”这位男子说，“我要把这条裤子退掉。”店员按程序办理了退货手续并把等于裤子价格的现金给了他。
这位男子把钱从柜台上推回去。“现在我还要这条裤子，”他说。店员用收银机收下了钱，把那条裤子装进包里，并把它们连同收据递给了他。
这男子终于以胜利者的姿态把裤子和收据放在柜台上，说：“我要把这条裤子换了。”
练习参考答案：
①F②T③T④F⑤T
八年级的英语笑话精选阅读
You Let Me Search Quite
Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things. One day, he went out with his little son. He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.
After a time, he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people: "Have you seen my child?"
One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"
Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck, he was so angry that he hit the son on the face, then shouted: "I have told you not to go here and there. Where did you go just now?"
Notes:
(1) think of想起
(2) hearing this听到这话。这是个分词短语，相当于一个表示时间的状语从句，即：When he heard this.
Exercises:
根据短文填空：
① Once ______ a time, there was a man who always forgot things.
② He was so happy that he put the son ______ his neck.
③ After _______ time, he suddenly thought of his son.
④ _______ this, the man took down his son from his neck.
⑤ He was so angry that he hit the son _______ the face .
41.叫我好找
古时，有个人记性极差。一天，他带着小儿子出去玩。一高兴，便把小儿子举起来，让他骑在自己的脖子上。
过了一会儿，他忽然想起儿子来，逢人便问：“你看到我孩子了吗?”
“哎，你脖子上的那个不是吗?”有个邻居见了大笑。
这个人一把将小儿子从脖子上揪下来，狠狠地打了一耳光，骂道：“混蛋，叫你别乱跑，刚才你到哪里去了?”
练习参考答案：
① upon ② ride ③ a ④ hearing ⑤ on
八年级的英语笑话精选学习
The Long and Short of It
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together .
"Grandma, " I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
Notes:
(1) stately adj.高贵的
(2) leaf through迅速翻阅;浏览
(3) teen-ager.十几岁的人
(4) fall in love with爱上;坠入爱河
Exercises:
根据短文选择正确答案：
① The child had never met______ .
A. the grandfather
B. the grandmother
C. the father
D. the mother
② The grandmother was _______taller than the grandfather.
A. five feet
B. six inches
C. four inches
D. five inches
③ "Leafing through" in "leafing through old photographs" means______ .
A. to turn page by page
B. to put leaves in an album
C. to took for
D. to take out from
④ The child realized________ .
A. how strange they must have looked together
B. how wonderful they must have looked together
C. how shameful they must have looked together
D. how unusual they must have looked together
⑤ From the passage we can see that______ .
A. the grandmother loved her husband deeply
B. the grandmother regretted to have married her husband
C. the grandfather had been out for at least ten years
D. the grandfather had been dead for nearly eight years
42.来龙去脉
尽管我从未见过我祖父，但我知道他身高五英尺六，而我高贵的祖母身高五英尺十一。十几岁的时候，我和祖母一起一页一页地翻着老照片，我终于认识到他们在一起是多么不同寻常。
“奶奶，”我问道，“你怎么会爱上一个比你矮五英寸的人呢?”
她转过脸来看着我。“宝贝，”她说，“我们是坐着相爱的。当我站起来的时候，已经太晚了。”
练习参考答案：
①A②D③A④A⑤A
