爱华网冷笑话不同于一般笑话,它以其独特的制笑机制,能瞬间创造出一种特殊的氛围。下面小编整理了爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译摘抄
如此邻居(中英)
Late for an appointment, I dashed out the front door and realized that I had left my keys on the kitchen counter. The back door was unlocked，but a six一foot wooden fence stood between keys and me. The car was parked so that I could stand on it to get up on the fence, but having put on my tightest jeans that morning, I couldn't get my other leg over far enough to reach anything on the other side.
约会马上就要迟到了，我冲出了前门，接着意识到我把钥匙落在了厨房的台子上。后门没有关，但是在我和钥匙之间隔了一排六英尺高的木围墙。车子就停在木围墙的旁边，所以我能踩着爬上围墙，但是那天早上我恰巧穿的是那条紧身牛仔裤，无法把另一条腿叉开得足够远，以触及围墙那一边的任何物体。
While straddling the fence, my dog nipping at my foot, I noticed a neighbor laughing at my predicament. Just as I was about to fall off and hope for the best, my neighbor cried, “wait” and disappeared into the house. Assuming he was going to get ladder to rescue me, I waited.
跨骑在栅栏上，我的狗不时地咬我的脚，这时，我发现有位邻居正格格地笑我的窘境。正当我要跳下去，祈求上帝保佑之时，那位邻居嚷道:“等一等!”旋即进了屋子。我琢磨着他是去拿梯子来搭救我，于是我就等着。
Minutes later he returned with his wife. "okay,”he yelled, "I just wanted Joanna to see this!”
几分钟后，他和太太一起回来了。“好了，”他冲我喊道:“我只是想让乔安娜也来瞧瞧。”
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译鉴赏
谁死的更惨(中英)
Three stood by the golden gate and St. Peter said，St. Peter said, “sorry，we' re all filled up, so only one of you can come into heaven. So, out of you three, the one who had the most tragic death of all may enter the heaven.”
三个男人站在天堂门外，圣彼得说:“对不起，我们这里已经人满为患你们中只有一个人能够进人天堂。所以，你们三个人当中死得最惨的那个才能进入。”
The first man spoke, "well，I am a newlywed and I tend to get jealous of my wife and her male friends, so I forbid her to see any of them when I was at work. But today I came home early and saw two wine glasses on the coffee table and when I asked my wife what was going on, she blushed and was silent. I searched the entire house for her male friend and finally I spotted someone’s hands grasping the railing on our balcony. In a fit of rage I stomped on the hands until the rascal fell 15 stories down into the bin below. When I realized he was still alive, I unhooked my fridge and throw it over the railing. In the process of doing this, I had a heart attack.”
第一个人说:“我刚结婚不久，很嫉妒我的妻子和他的男性朋友，所以在我上班的时候，我禁止她见任何的男性朋友。但是今天我回家较早，看见咖啡桌上放着两个葡萄酒杯，当我问妻子发生了什么事情的时候，她红着脸不说话。我搜遍了整个屋子想找出那个男人，最后发现有个人的手抓住了我家
凉台的栏杆。我对着那双手就是一阵狂踢，直到那个流氓从十五楼上掉下去，可惜下面正好有一堆纸箱，当我得知他还活着时，就搬起家里的冰箱从阳台上向下砸去，然后就突发心脏病身亡。”
St. Peter replied, "wow, that's too bad. Next?"
圣彼得说:“噢，够惨的。下一个?”
The second man began to speak，` I am a window washer and I was minding my own business and washing the seventeenth story windows at an apartment when my safety rope snapped and I began to fa11.I reached out and in a stroke of luck on to a balcony railing on the fifteenth. I was trying to catch my breath and wait it for someone to rescue me when some lunatic started to stomp on my hands until I lost my grip and fell into the bin below. I opened my eye in disbelief only to see a fridge come crashing down onto my head.”
第二个人说:“我是一个窗户清洁工，一天我正在清洗公寓十七楼的窗户，安全带不幸突然崩断，我开始坠落，但幸运的是我抓住了十五楼阳台的栏杆，我屏住了呼吸等着人来救我，突然有个神经病人乱踢我的手，直到我失手掉进下面的一堆纸箱。我睁开眼睛一看，一个冰箱正朝我的头上砸来。”
St. Peter replied: "my, my. . . that is bad. Next?"
圣彼得说:“哎哟，……够惨的。下一个?”
The third man spoke last, "well, I was hiding in the fridge when. . .”
第三个最后说:“哎，我当时正藏在冰箱里，突然……”
爆笑的英语笑话带翻译赏析
他的第二个妻子(中英)
A rich man and his wife went into a shop to buy a bracelet. Neither of them was very young. They looked at a lot of beautiful bracelets, and after half an hour there were two which they liked very much, but they had not yet been able to choose between them. One of them was very expensive, and the other was quite a lot cheaper.
一个富翁和他的妻子走进一家商店购买一个手镯。他们俩人绝对都不年轻了。他们看了许多漂亮的手镯。半个小时后他们终于挑选出两个非常中意的手镯，但是无法决定二者究竟应选哪一个。其中一个非常昂贵，另一个要便宜很多。
Of course, the shopkeeper wanted to sell them the more expensive one, because then he would get more money from them, so he said to the lady, "Oh, go on. Spend his money. If you don't, he will only spend it on his second wife.”
毋庸讳言，店主当然希望把那个贵的卖给他们，因为这样就能从中赚更多的钱。“哦，快买吧，花他的钱。如果您不这样，他只会把钱花在他的第二位妻子身上。”
For several seconds nobody said a word，and then the lady said angrily, "I' m his second wife!”
大家都默不作声，几秒钟后，那位女士生气地说道:“我就是他的第二个妻子!”
