爱华网笑话可以纯粹是笑话，不带任何攻击的色彩。你可以内心企图想要攻击别人却面带微笑，这种微笑就变成是罪恶。小编精心收集了关于英语冷笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
关于英语冷笑话带翻译：You're Not Going to Make it
Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."
一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。
“你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”
在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么?”
“很遗憾，”妻子说，“你活不成了。”
关于英语冷笑话带翻译：不小心咬破了自己的舌头
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
“是的，宝贝”，她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
"Because I've just bitten my tongue! "
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
关于英语冷笑话带翻译：Bilingual City
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude — French for hot.
You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
蒙特利尔咖啡馆的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的水龙头，结果被水烫伤了。
“这太可恶了，”他抱怨道，“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。”
“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法语里代表‘热’。如果您住在蒙特利尔的话就应该知道这一点。”
“等等，”那位顾客咆哮着，“另外一个龙头标的也是C。”
“那当然，”经理说道：“这个C代表冷(cold)。毕竟，蒙特利尔是个双语城市。”
关于英语冷笑话带翻译：什么都有,你要买什么?
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma'am, we haven't had any for a while, and itdoesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.
Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll havesomesoon, we placed an order last week.
Then the manager drew the clerk aside: Never, never, never say we are out of anything saywe've got it on order and it's coming.Now what was it she wanted?
Rain, said the clerk.
一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。
经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：当然，马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。
然后经理把店员拉到一边：千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么，说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。现在你说她要买什么?
雨，店员说。
