爱华网笑话作为一种特殊的语体有其自身的特点。对于笑话为什么引人发笑,可以从心理学的角度去分析,也可以从修辞学、逻辑学的角度去认识。下面小编整理了英语爆笑笑话 ，希望大家喜欢!
英语爆笑笑话 ：If only倘若
A man is driving up a steep,narrow mountain road .
有个男人驾着车沿着一条又陡峭又窄小的山路往上开。
A woman is driving down the same road .
有个女人沿着同一条路往下开着车。
As they pass ench other ,
当他们彼此错车时，
the woman leans out of the window and yells"PI!!"
这个女人斜靠着车窗向外太喊：“猪!”
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!!"
这个男人立刻也斜靠着他的车窗向外大声响应：“臭女人.!”
They each continue on their way ,
他们各自继续开车上路，
and as the man ronds the next corner ,
当这个男人绕到下一个转弯处的时候，
he crashes into a pig in the middle of road .
他竞撞上了在路中央的一只猪。
If only men would listen.
倘若男人会听话就没事了。
英语爆笑笑话 ：Lazy Manager 懒惰的经理
A middle management executive has to take on some sports,by his doctor's ,
有一位中阶经营主管因为听了他的医师指示必须要做一些运动，
so he decides to play tennis .
所以他决定要打网球。
After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing
在几个星期之后，他韵秘书就问他情况如何，
"It's going fine" ,the manager says."When I am on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me ,
这位经理说：“进行得不错，当我在网球场上看到球快速朝着我来的时候，
and my brain immediately says,"Back hand!To the net!Smash !Go back"
我的脑袋就立刻说：‘反手拍!上网!杀球!后退! ”
"Really?What happens then?" the secretary asks .
秘书问说：“真的呀，然后咙?”
"Then my bady says ,"Who 、 Me?Don't talk nonsense!"
“然后我的身体说：‘谁?我吗?别胡说八道了!”’
英语爆笑笑话 ：A case for the FBI联邦调查局的案件
The phone rings at FBI headquarters . "Hello?"
联邦调查局总部的电话响了。“ 喂?”
"Hello,is this FBI?"
“喂，是联邦调查局吗?…”
"Yes,What do you want?"
“是的，有何需要吗.?”
"I am calling to report my neighbor Tom.He is hiding marijuana in his firewood ."
“我打电话是要检举我的邻居 汤姆。他在他的木柴中藏匿大麻。”
"This will be noted." Next day,the FBI comes over to Tom's house.
“我们会严加注意的。”次日，联邦调查局来到汤姆的家。
They search the shed where the firewood is kept,break every piece of wood ,find no marijuana,swear at Tom and leave .
他们搜查了存放木柴的库房，把木柴劈成一块一块，没有找到太麻，就对着汤姆口出秽言，然后离去。
The phone rings at Tom's house.
汤姆家的电话响了。
" Hey ,Tom! Did the FBI come ?"
“喂，汤姆，联邦调查局有来你家吗?”
"Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?"
“有呀”“他们‘有劈你们家的木柴吗?”
"Yeah,they did."
“有呀，他们劈了呀”
"OK,now it's your turn to call .I need my garden plowed."
“好了，现在换你打电话了，我的菜园需要犁一下啦。”
英语爆笑笑话 ：The visit to the doctor拜访医师
A Man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred .
一个男人问他的医师是否认为他会活到一百岁。
The doctor asked the man ,"Do you smoke or drink ?"
医师问这个男人：“你抽烟或喝酒吗?”
" No ,"he replied , "I have never done either ."
他回答说：“不，我从不抽烟喝酒。”
" Do you gamble,drive fast cars ,and fool around with woman?" inquired the doctor .
医师问说：“你赌博、开快车、玩女人吗?”
"No,I have done any of those things either."
“不，我也从不干那些事情。”
"Well then," said the doctor ," what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"
医师说：“那你干吗要活到一百岁呀?”
