爱华网![[转载]《生活大爆炸》搞笑台词：天才宅生活](http://img.aihuau.com/images/30101030/30062044t0193a112f31542d246.jpg)
The Big Bang Theory
《生活大爆炸》：天才宅生活
○车厘子 编译
又译：天才理论传、天才也性感、宇宙大爆炸
Johnny Galecki … Leonard（约翰尼·盖尔克奇 饰 莱纳德）
Jim Parsons … Sheldon（吉姆·帕森斯 饰 谢尔顿）
Kaley Cuoco … Penny（卡蕾·库奥科 饰 佩妮）
Simon Helberg … Howard（西蒙·赫尔伯格 饰 霍华德）
Kunal Nayyar … Rajnesh（昆瑙·内亚 饰 拉基）
四个智商奇高的科学天才莱纳德、谢尔顿、霍华德以及来自印度的拉基经常“混”在一起。他们对物理学理论倒背如流，科学建树颇多，却对日常生活、人情交际和男女感情一窍不通。这四位天才除了工作时作研究，每天的生活内容都是按部就班地追漫画、玩网游、造机器人、吃中餐外卖，直到金发无脑的佩妮搬到莱纳德和谢尔顿的隔壁，他们的宅生活才发生了“大爆炸”。
本剧2007年9月首播，迄今已播出三季，本文精选自第1-3季台词。
Penny: Sheldon, you are a smart guy.
Sheldon: I’m “smart”? I’d have to lose 60 IQ points to beclassified as “smart”.
佩妮：谢尔顿，你很聪明。
希尔顿：我“聪明”？要把我划分到“聪明”那一档，我的智商得丢掉60分才行。
Penny: Has Leonard ever been involved with someone whowasn’t a brainiac?
Sheldon: Oh, well, a few years ago, he did go out withsomeone who had a Ph.D. in French Literature.
Penny: How is that not a brainiac?
Sheldon: Well, for one thing, she was French. Foranother, it was literature
佩妮：莱纳德有没有跟哪个“非天才”女生约会过？
谢尔顿：哦，几年前，他和一个法国文学系的女博士约会过。
佩妮：那还不是天才啊？
谢尔顿：首先，她是法国人。其次，那还是文学系。
[Ramona tries to stop Sheldon from playing some computergame.]
Ramona: Didn’t a great man once say, “Science demandsnothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of ourentire lives?”
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?
Sheldon: Me. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Seriously? You’re not coming?
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?
[拉蒙娜不让谢尔顿玩网络游戏。]
拉蒙娜：不是有个伟人曾经说过：“为科学别无所求，为科学执着追求，为科学无条件奉献一生么？”
谢尔顿：是说过。
拉蒙娜：那个伟人是谁呢？
谢尔顿：是我。对不起了，莱纳德。
莱纳德：来真的？你不去？
谢尔顿：你听到她的话了。我不能拆自己的台呀！
Leonard: If we do get a new friend, he should be a guyyou can trust. You know, a guy who has your back.
Howard: And he should have a lot of money and live in acool place down by the beach where we could throw parties.
Sheldon: And he should share our love of technology.
Howard: And he should know a lot of women.
Leonard: Okay, let’s see: money, women, technology. Okay,we’re agreed. Our new friend is going to be Iron Man.
莱纳德：我们要交个新朋友的话，他一定得是一个值得信赖的人，就是那种挺你的人。
霍华德：而且他要很有钱，还要在海边有一处豪宅可以让我们开派对。
谢尔顿：还要跟我们一样热爱科技。
霍华德：还要认识一箩筐女人。
莱纳德：好了，我们瞧瞧：钱、女人、科技。行，大家都没有异议，我们的新朋友得是钢铁侠。
Penny: Why can’t all guys be like you?
Leonard: Because if all guys were like me the human racecouldn’t survive.
佩妮：为什么所有男人不能都像你一样？
莱纳德：如果所有男人都像我，那人类就要灭绝了。
[Leslie changes equations on Sheldon’s board.]
Sheldon: Who told you you could touch my board?
Leslie: No one.
Sheldon: I don’t come in to your house and touch yourboard.
Leslie: There are no incorrect equations on my board.
Sheldon: Oh! That is so, so...
Leslie: I’m sorry; I’ve got to run, if you come up withan adjective text me.
[莱思莉改了谢尔顿白板上的程序。]
谢尔顿：谁告诉你你可以碰我的白板？
莱思莉：没人。
谢尔顿：我可不会去你家碰你的白板。
莱思莉：我的白板上没有错误程序。
谢尔顿：哦！这也太、太……
莱思莉：对不起，我得赶紧走了，想到形容词就给我发短信。
Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends onMySpace.
Leonard: Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.
Sheldon: That’s the beauty of it.
莱纳德：我们得扩大我们的圈子。
谢尔顿：我的圈子很大，我在MySpace上有212个好友。
莱纳德：没错，可你一个都没见过。
谢尔顿：距离产生美！
Sheldon: [Entrying a blog] Research journal, entryone. I’m about to embark on one of the great challenges of myscientific career: teaching Penny physics. I’m calling it ProjectGorilla.
Penny: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Come in. Take a seat. [Typing]Subject hasarrived. I’ve extended a friendly casual greeting.
Penny: Ready to get started?
Sheldon: One moment. [Typing]Subject appearswell-rested and enthusiastic. Apparently, ignorance is bliss. Allright, let us begin.
谢尔顿：[写博客]实验日志，第一篇。我准备开展一个科学生涯中的巨大挑战：教佩妮学物理。我称之为大猩猩工程。
佩妮：嘿，谢尔顿！
谢尔顿：请进！坐吧！[写博客]实验目标已经到达，我友好地欢迎了她。
佩妮：可以开始了吗？
谢尔顿：稍等一下。[写博客]目标气色很好，满腔热情。显然，无知是福。好吧，我们开始吧！
Missy: I always bragging to my friends about my brotherthe rocket scientist.
Sheldon: You tell people I’m rocket scientist?
Missy: Well, yeah.
Sheldon: I’m a theoretical physicist.
Missy: What’s the difference?
Sheldon: What’s the difference?! My god! Why don’t youjust rell them that I’m a toll-taker at the Golden Gate Bridge?!Rocket scienrist. How humiliating!
米丝：我经常向我的朋友们吹嘘说我弟弟是个火箭专家。
谢尔顿：你跟别人说我是火箭专家？
米丝：呃，是啊！
谢尔顿：我是个理论物理学家。
米丝：有什么区别？
谢尔顿：有什么区别？！天哪！为什么你不干脆告诉他们我是金门大桥收费员？！火箭专家？太丢人了！
Sheldon: [Giving a speech to freshmen]Looking outat your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding myacademic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I wasfourteen. And I had already achieved more than most of you couldever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or twoof you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoreticalphysics, although it’s more likely that you’ll spend yourscientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier-mâchévolcanoes with baking soda lava. In short, anyone who told you thatyou would someday be able to make some significant contribution tophysics, played a cruel trick on you—a cruel trick indeed. Anyquestions? ... Of course not. I weep for the future of science.
谢尔顿：[为新生做演讲]看着你们这一张张生机勃勃的脸，让我想起了我还是低年级研究生时就要选择自己研究方向的日子。当然，那时我才14岁，而且除了9点才起床外，我那时已经颇有建树了，你们大多数人是想都想不到的。现在，这间教室里可能有一到两个人具备学好理论物理学的基本素质，即使可能你们学成了之后只是拿来教五年级的小学生用碳酸氢钠火山岩做一个纸壳模型火山。总之，如果谁告诉你们，你们有朝一日能在物理学上有所建树，谁就给你们开了一个残忍的玩笑——很残忍的玩笑。有问题要问吗？……当然没有。我为科学的未来表示哀悼。
Kripke: We’re all pathetic and creepy and can’t getgirls, that’s why we fight robots.
克里普克：我们太可悲，太古怪了，交不到女朋友，只能玩机器人大决战。
Sheldon: I’m a physicist. I have a working knowledge ofthe entire universe and everything it contains.
Penny: Who’s Radiohead?
Sheldon: [After twitching for a minute] I have aworking knowledge of the important things.
谢尔顿：我是一个物理学家。我对整个宇宙和宇宙间的万物了若指掌。
佩妮：电台司令（一英国乐队）是什么人？
谢尔顿：[嘴抽搐了半天答不出话]我对很重要的事了若指掌。
