爱华网9)
[尹河瓖]
中国还是“礼仪之邦”么？
Does China remain a country ofcourtesy?
中国是“礼仪之邦”，这是古话。如今还是么？我怀疑。
As an old saying goes, “China is a country ofcourtesy.” I was wondering whether the situation has beenchanged.
我这一怀疑肯定要遭人骂的。不过，你先别骂，一是因为，你若骂街就正好证明我的怀疑是
My doubt will undoubtedly be condemned. Wouldyou mind holding down your criticism for a while? On the one hand,my doubt would turn out to be verified in case you break out intoabuses.
对的了，二是因为我们可以看看下文所说的中国人不够礼貌和日本人够礼貌的对比是否属
On the other hand, it offers us an excellent chance for ourconfirmation of the following comparison between Chinese behaviorsand Japanese ones, and it reveals those terrible manners around tous.
实，还可以看看咱们周围的不礼貌现象。
Leech（2005（在《外国语》的最后一期的一篇文章））论及东方的礼貌的时候举例都是汉语、汉语、日语，当然他没有其他东方语言的语例，否则还要涵盖更多语言和国家的。
Leech had cite Chinese, Korean, Japanese as an instance when hementioned oriental courtesy in one article published in ForeignLanguage in 2005. Naturally, he abandoned other oriental languagesas examples in virtue of none coverage of more countries andlanguages.
他以为这几个国家都是礼貌的，同等礼貌，都代表了礼貌的东方。我赞赏他的洞察力和对语用学的贡献，也赞赏和珍惜他和我个人的私人友谊。但是怀疑，即保持上述怀疑。（当然也很感谢他老人家的赞赏。）
Those equally courteous countries chosen were on behalf ofcourteous the Orient. His keen insight, contribution to pragmaticsand personal friendship with me is worthy of my admiration andcherish. However, it makes no difference and my doubt stand stillas above. His appreciation is thankfully accepted.
他说到东方（如中国）的“礼貌战争”（politeness battles）或者“礼貌拔河”（tug ofpoliteness），就是在邀请和拒绝上不断“争执”，邀请者不请两三回绝对不罢休，受邀者也不能一请就答应赴宴。根据他的模式，邀请者若是真诚的，要请3回。拒绝者若是真要拒绝（如不方便时）也要拒绝3回。
Referring to the oriental (Chinese for instance) politenessbattles or tug of politeness, Leech comprehended it as continuousdisputation over inviting and rejecting since the inviter and theinvitee will be involved in an inviting-and-rejecting game fortwice or more. According to his pattern, the inviter should offerhis invitation for three times to show his sincerity. Vice versa,the invitee rejects for three times to indicate his heartfeltunwillingness orinconvenience.
a) 翻译
[朱桂兰&傅航航]
China, still a Nation with Courteous Civilization?
China, as it was ancient value, was a nation of courteouscivilization. Is it still one? I’m doubtful.
By saying this, I know I’m going to be scolded. Please take backyour scolding, for on the one hand, such prompt scolding canrightly support my doubt; on the other hand, I would like you readon to find out the answer for my doubt via contrast between Chineseimpoliteness and Japanese politeness as well as the varieties ofimpoliteness around us.
When he discussed on the politeness in oriental countries in hisarticle published in the last issue of Journal of Foreign Languages2005, Geoffrey N. Leech mostly provided examples in Chinese, Koreanand Japanese languages. For sure, he didn’t provide more cases inother oriental languages, or he would cover more countries andtheir languages. He believed the countries he exemplified are ofsimilar politeness and so they are representatives of the politeorient. As the same as he appreciates me for which I’m verygrateful, I appreciate his insight and contribution to the study ofpragmatics as well as cherish our personal friendship while I keepmy doubt.
By discussing on “the politeness battles” or “the tug ofpoliteness” in the orient, e.g., China, Leech means the continualrounds of inviting and rejecting, that is, the inviter shows hispoliteness by several times of inviting to dinner while the inviteeshows his politeness by rejecting as least once. As far as heunderstands, the inviter must repeat twice of his invitation toshow his sincerity and the invitee needs to reject all the threetimes to show his rejection if he is really unable to follow.
Here is a dialogue example to illustrate this point.
Round 1
Student: Mr. Brown, I would like to invite you and Mrs. Brownfor dinner tonight.
Mr. Brown: No, thank you, but you don’t need to invite us.
Round 2
Student: Mr. Brown, you’ve helped me a lot, for what I wanted toinvite you earlier. Please take it (Please do me the honour).
Mr. Brown: Thanks, but you really don’t need to invite us. It’sbeen my pleasure if I’ve helped you.
Round 3
Student: Mr. Brown, just take my invitation. I’ll see you at sixin Daqian Restaurant. See you then.(Be there or be square.)
Mr. Brown: Well, it’s okay. To be frank, I have anotherappointment tonight. Let’s delay it. Thank you for your constantsincerity. (朱桂兰)
Students should let the teacher leave firstwhen the class is over. However, my students all leave one by oneeven before I really call it a day, so I become the one who turnoff the computers, pack the chaos, turn off the light, and thenclose the door. If I bumping into one of my friends who do not knowthe whole story, he would definitely ask me, “Since when were youdeployed to SISU for taking charge of the supportservices?”
Where did our etiquette go? You might say “weare not in society but in school now, and we will pay attention toetiquette once we enter in society.” I have never, however, heardthat somebody could do something in society which he could not doin school. The school etiquette is not only done for teachers, butalso is training and learning of manners. Besides, students canregard it as probation and internship of manners preparing forsociety.
If a student writes out an essay, he will surely send it to histutor with gladness. It is apprehensible that the tutor inspectshis student’s essay and makes some suggestions. Nevertheless, thestudent is expected to be polite. He should send a politely writtenemail, better with a call. Most importantly of course, the essayneeds to be thoroughly revised and collated, in order to make surethat there are no fatal errors. No student should send a roughdraft version to his teacher. The way a student treats teacher’scomments and suggestions should also be polite. If he wants therevised version inspected by his teacher, he should be even morepolite. Consider that how to save teacher’s effort? In other words,try not to make the teacher to inspect the full version this time.The student must give credits and thanks to his teacher in suchcases, via text messages, emails, calls and face-to-facecommunication
Show respect to teachers when writes youressays, and also when you does your homework and has yourexaminations. There is so much to pay attention to, while the mostimportant one is no plagiarizing. Those who cheat have no respectto the teachers at all.
These are just my own experiences and opinions. And I have notcompared our etiquette to that of the Japanese and the Westernersyet.
It’s painful to have the above description and doubts. I hopethat you all will prove me wrong.（傅航航）
[陈捷&邱欢]
Is China still a State of Ceremonies?
As the old saying goes, China is a "state of ceremonies". But isit still? I have my doubts.
Although I am bound to get my names called for proclaimingdoubts in such a matter, you can hold your tongue for just aminute. Because, A, if you didn't, you would prove my doubts, andB, before you do curse, we can take a look at the followingcomparison between Chinese and Japanese, and judge the truthfulnessof the latter being polite and former not. Also, I will list someof the cases of discourteousness we see in our daily lives.
Leech cited in his writings about Oriental courtesy onlyexamples with the Chinese and Japanese languages. Had he possessedexamples of other Oriental languages, his writings would no doubthave covered more languages and countries. From his point of view,people in both those countries are equally courteous, representingan Orient with good manners. While I appreciate and admire his fineperspicacity and his enormous contribution to Pragmatics, treasurethe friendship between him and myself, I remain the foregoingdoubts in this matter. (His recognition on my work is dulyappreciated)
He referred to the phenomena of "politeness battles" or "tug ofpoliteness" existing in the oriental societies (for instance,China) as the relentless "battles" in invitation and declination.In a case of such "battles", the inviter would never stop beforetwo or three rounds of invitation is proposed and the one invitedis not supposed to accept the invitation as soon as it isproposed.According to Leech's formula, if an inviter truly means toinvite, he would have to propose the invitation three times and ifthe one invited does want to decline ( due to schedule problems),three rounds of declination is alsorequired.
For Instance:
First round of the tug:
"Mr. Something, something, I'd like to invite you and your wifeto a dinner tonight, are you available?"
"Thank you, but there is really no need to do so."
Round two of the tug:
"You've helped me so much. I should have invited you long timeago. Please, do come."
"Thank you a lot. However, it is my duty to help you. Plus, Ireally helped that much."
Round Three of the tug:
"Mr. Something, something. Please, do come. Six O'clock, tonightit is. At the Everyone Diner in the World restaurant, I will waitthere till the cows come home."
"OK, then./ En. Thanks. But, really, I have a previousengagement. So we can arrange for other time. Thank you again.You've so very nice."
This case could continue( in discussing when exactly the nexttime will be). All in all, what Leech meant to mean is thatEasterners are very polite in inviting people, their generosityreflected not only during the banquets but also in the languageused in invitation.
I often kidded about not like being invited to dinner. Somestudents, however, did try to invite me and after their invitationswere turned down, they assented to the rumor that Mr. Hou doesn'tlike invitations to dinner. They may be right, but when they triedto invite me, did they even bother to "tug"? If did, how manyrounds?
I often get my feet stepped on when standing on a bus or waitingin a line. At times like this, I would have my"not at all" readilyprepared, waiting for the other party's "I am sorry". But, ninestime of ten, the other party would remain silent, and my "Not atall" went unsaid. At times, I got to say"I am sorry" which made theother guy even more silent and everybody else confused.(陈捷）
As a teacher, the impoliteness I encountered in class iscountless.
Naturally, the students should greet their teachers beforeclass, such as a solute. Maybe you think it only happens inkindergarten or elementary school. Perhaps! On the contrary, nogreetings to each other before going down to the business directlymake me feel unnatural.
Virtually, when you are late for a while for class, you shouldask for admission to get in. Once the teacher let you in, youshould make an apology. After that the teacher may offer you yourseat, you should extend your thanks before you take it. If you arelate too much, these are musts, besides, you had better provideexcuses or promises and bear in your mind that you are not allowedin.
Politely, if the teacher want to ask someone (such as Zhangsanfeng) a question or for a speech, this student should respondwith “here!” or “yes, sir!” immediately. But usually I am not sureif there is a man like this, or there is, but he is not in theclassroom. If he is really in the classroom, I wonder he could hearme or not.
Principally, when class is over, the teacher should be the firstone who leaves the classroom. But, my students get away one afterone before I declare the end, leaving myself turning off thecomputer, packing up, powering off the lights, closing the door.Thus, a friend who does not know my job comes into me may say，“whendo you transfer to SISU and do logistics?”(I don’t mean logisticjob is indecent, but that is not part of my work!)
Where does our etiquette go? You may say that here is school,not society and that we will carry out good manners in society. ButI never heard that one will do the things in society that he or sheis not willing to do in school. The etiquette in school is not onlydone to show the teachers, but also to cultivate one’s manners. Allright, let’s just take it an internship of politeness.
Supposed a student wrote a paper, he must be happy to send it tohis teacher and let it be checked and commented, it is natural.But, he must be polite. The email-sending should be polite. He’dbetter beg the favor first by phone. Of course, his paper must bemodified and proofread again and again to make sure it has no grosserrors. He couldn’t send the draft to the teacher. He should alsobe polite to the teacher’s notes and advice. If he sends hisrevised version and wants it be scrutinized again, he should bemore polite. He should consider how to make it easy for theteacher, that is, to the greatest extent, to avoid forcing theteacher to scan from the beginning to the end of his essay. Also,he should high value and appreciate the teacher’s efforts throughsending message or email, more formally, by phoning and extendingthanks face to face.
Not only writing a paper, but also doing homework and exams, soon and so forth, we should respect our teachers. There are a lot ofthings we should pay special cares. The most important thing is notto plagiarize. Plagiarist is the biggest shame to the teachers.
All above is my humble thoughts based on my personal experiencesand I haven’t made them a contrast with the Japanese, the Britishand the American.
All the suspicions above makes a man hurt, hoping you can provethat my doubts are completely worries. （邱欢译）
[贺贤超&彭兴]
China, Still a State of Ceremonies?
An ancient Chinese saying goes “China is a state of ceremonies”.But now I doubt the credibility of it. I know my suspicion willsurely invite some scolds. Yet, please hold your tongue first,because if you swear, it would be a convincing evidence to prove mythought. Besides, you can judge the truth or false of the followingstatement which says that Chinese people are not as polite asJapanese people and you can as well think about the impolitephenomena in our daily life.
In his paper (published in 2005 in the lastissue in the Journal of Foreign Languages), when talking about thepoliteness of Orientals, the examples Leech enumerated were eitherin Chinese or in Japanese. He listed no sentences in other orientallanguages, or he would have to cover more countries andcorresponding languages. He thought that these countries were allstates of ceremonies and that they were equally known for theirpeople’s politeness and he saw them all as representatives of thepolite Orient. I admire his piercing insight, his contribution topragmatics and cherish the personal friendship between us, yet thisdoes no help remove my doubt about the old saying.
He mentioned the “politeness battles” or “tugof politeness” on play in Asian countries like China. In such kindof tug, the one who invites and the one who is invited arefrequently in “disagreement”. The inviter will not give up withoutinviting several times and out of politeness, the invitee is notsupposed to accept it without several rounds of refusals. Accordingto Leech’s mode, if it is an sincere invitation, the inviter willinvite at least three times and if the invitee has to decline theinvitation, he also needs to refuse three times.
For example,
The first round of the tug:
“Professor, may I invite you and your wife to dinnertonight?”
“It won’t be necessary. Thank you for your invitation.”
2nd Round:
“You’ve given me a lot of help and I have thought about treatingyou for long. Please come.”
“Thank you. But it is really not necessary. To instruct you ismy job and what I’ve done is nothing.”
3rd Round:
“Professor, please don’t decline my invitation. Dinner is at 6tonight in Daqian Restaurant. I will see you there!”
“Ok, then. Thank you for your invitation. But I really have anappointment today, maybe next time. It’s very kind of you invitingus.”
This tug could go on and on (e.g. decide whenthe next time is). Anyway, Leech thought that Eastern people arevery polite when treating others and one can see their generosityfrom both the feast and the words they use in invitation. I oftenjokingly say that I don’t like being invited to dinner. Some of mystudents tried to invite me and they concluded that it was truethat that buddy really didn’t like being invited. Their conclusionmight be true, yet when inviting me, did they played the tug ofpoliteness? And how many rounds did the tug go?
I often get stepped by others on my toes when queuing up in abus stop or other places, and when it happens, I always wait for a“sorry” and prepare to say “it doesn’t matter.” To mydisappointment, I hardly hear any apologies and thus my “it doesn’tmatter” seldom has the opportunity to get out of my throat. For acouple of times, I apologized when I was trodden on my toes, whichonly made the other one more silent than ever and people around usconfused.
As a teacher serving the people, I have encountered politelessoccasions more than I can count.
As a rule, students should give greetings and pay obeisance tothe teacher before the class. But you may protest that such rulesare only carried out in kindergartens and primary schools. Huh!Maybe. Be that as it may, I still believe it is a little weird tocome straight to the topic without exchanging greetings, weirdindeed.
Commonly speaking, If you coming late for a moment, you shouldask for the teacher’s permission to come into the room. After yourpermission’s been approved, you should apologize for being late. Ifthe teacher gives you the permission to sit, you may sit after youhave expressed your thanks. When you have been late for quite awhile, all the above things should no doubt been said, moreover,you should give reasons and make promises when you are apologizing,and prepare for the possibility of being kept outside.
Generally speaking, when the teacher asks someone a question orlet someone to speak, for instance, “John!” John should response tothe calling with “ I’m here” or “ yes sir!”. But most times, it’seither the case I don’t know whether this man is in our class or ifhe is here today. If he does come, I’m not sure he is evenlistening to me.
Customarily, when the class is over, the students should leavethe room after the teacher. However, in my class, the studentswould leave one after another even though the class is hardlyended. I am left to shut down the computer, turn off the lights andclose the door. If I run into some friends who are not acquaintedwith the reasons why I’m doing things like these, he would say,“Since when has you been doing a job for rear service in SISU?” (Iam against doing rear service, but my division of work is not rearservice!).
Why are we become so politeless? Maybe you’ll say, this is inschool, not in society. When we’re stepping into society, we willshow our etiquette. But I’ve never heard that one would dosomething in society which he would not do in school. We do notshow politeness only to let our teachers see and listen to, butalso to study more about self-cultivation. It can be regarded as apractice on etiquette.
If a student has written a paper, most of times he would sent itto his teacher happily. It’s natural that the teacher gives hisreviews and makes some suggestions to him. But the students shouldshow politeness. The mail should send in a polite way. It’s betterto call and ask for permission first. Of course, what’s moreimportant is to alter and collate so as to make sure that therewere no noticeable errors. The draft mustn’t be sent to theteacher. Then, you should show appreciation for your teacher’scomments and suggestions. If the revised paper also needed to besent to the teacher, you should show more courtesy. Think about howto save effort for the teacher. In other words, try not to let theteacher see your paper from the beginning to the end. You shouldconsider that too. As for the teacher’s effort, you should showyour appreciation and give your thanks to him. Other than shortmessages and emails, you should use telephone and give your thanksin the presence of the teacher.
Moreover, there are many other circumstances in which you needto respect the teacher such as doing homework and taking exams. Youshould consider the dos and don’ts for the situation. The lastthing your teacher expect you to do is plagiarism, because it showsyou have absolute no respect for him.
What I mentioned above is just a little thought, I haven’tcompared us with the Japanese and the Englishmen and the Americanyet.
These are just my doubts but it’s painful to think about them. Ihope you can prove they are completely rootless.
[金晖]
Is China still a “Country of Politeness”?
There’s an old saying that China is a “Country of Politeness”.Is it still the case? I really doubt.
You must excoriate my suspicion, but please do reconsider itbefore taking action because it would be the best proof if youabuse me. And you will get the answer from following passages whereChinese’ impoliteness and Japanese’ politeness is compared. Pleasepay attention to the impolite phenomenon in your daily life aswell.
Leech( in an article of the last periodical of ForeignLanguages in 2005) discusses politeness in eastern world, inwhich he sets Chinese, Korean and Japanese as examples. He doesn’ttouch upon other eastern languages; otherwise it will cover morelanguages and countries. He thought these countries are all equallypolite enough to present a polite image of eastern world. I admirehis insight and contribution to Pragmatics, and also cherish myprivate friendship with him. But I am still doubtful and insist mydoubt above. (Of course his praise on me is very muchappreciated)
In his view, “politeness battles” or “tug of politeness” in theEast (like China) is actually a continuous “debate” betweeninvitation and declination. The inviter won’t give up until sendinginvitation for several times, while invitee won’t confirmattendance until being invited for several times. His mode tellsthat the sincere inviter should send invitation for 3 times, whilethe serious rejection should be repeated for 3 times as well
.
For example,
In the first round of tug:
“Mr. X, could I invite you and Ms. X to have dinner togethertonight?”
“No, thanks. No need to be so generous.”
The2nd round of tug:
“I should have invited you earlier as I feel grateful for whatyou have done for me. It’s my great honor to have youraffirmation.”
The 3rd round of tug:
“Mr.X, please do not turn me down. Let’s make it at 1800 inDaqian Restaurant. See you there!
Politeness of the tug might keep going(eg.to discuss how aboutmaking it next time). Anyway, Leech found that people in the Eastis polite when inviting guests, which is shown not only in generoustable manners but also subtle diction of invitation.
I always joke that I don’t like being invitedto have dinner together even though a few students tried. Yes mostof students know me very well. However, any tug here when they sentme invitation? How many rounds we had?
When I get stamped on the bus or in a queue, I would expect a“sorry” from the person and prepare a reply of “It doesn’t matter”.But in most cases the guy just keeps silent so my kind reply canonly be stuck in my throat. There were some cases that it’s meextending apology, making that guy even quieter and both of us evenpuzzled.
As a teacher, I have been impolitely treatedfor numerous times.
In principle, students should greet and salute teacher beforethe class is started. You may argue that it was the case inkindergarten or primary school. It could be, but I insist it’s alittle bit weird to get down to the business without mutualgreetings in the very beginning.
[王芳]
China Today——"the Land of Etiquette" ?
As an old proverb goes, China was "the Land of Etiquette". Idoubt, however, that whether this is true with China today.
I am ready to be spitted for having this doubt. I should give mymodest advice to those who are preparing to take out their swordsof tongues with the following two reasons: firstly, if anyone spitsat me, it proves my argument in turn; secondly, we may consider thecomparative facts that Chinese are lack of etiquette while Japaneseare in reverse are genuine or not together with all the impoliteacts around.
When talking about the etiquette in the East, Leech (an articlein the last issue of the Journal of Foreign Languages,2005) listedthe examples in Chinese and Japanese languages. He may, of course,cover a broader range of eastern languages and countries if he had.He took it for granted that these countries have etiquette and theyare equally polite as representatives of the eastern courtesy. Iadmire his insightfulness as well as his great contributions topragmatics. I appreciate my personal friendship with him. But Iwon't change my idea about the doubt I mentionedabove.
He mentioned the "politeness battles" or "tug of politeness" inthe east (such as in China), which means the continuous invitingand refusing acts with endless invitations for three times or moreof the "invitor" and the hesitation of the "invitee". According tothis pattern,an invitation can not be sincere if he invites othersless than three times and the refusal (when inconvenient)can not beserious as well. For example:
First round in tugging:
"Mr.X, can I invite you and Mrs.X to dinner tonight?"
"Oh, you are so kind. It is not really necessary."
Second round in tugging:
"I have received too much help from you and it's my dedicationto invite you to dinner.Could you please come ?"
"Thank you so much, but it's indeed not so important. It's myduty to help you and I'm sorry for not having done more to help."
Third round in tugging:
"You are too modest, Mr.X. What about six o'clock at the'Master's Box' in Daqian restaurant this evening? Let's just makeit."
"All right. / Oh, thank you very much. But I'm afraid that Ihave another appointment this evening. We may call it another day.Thank you all the same. It's so kind of you."
The "tug of politeness" may keep going(to discuss about the nextappointment etc.). All in all, what Leech wanted to point out isthat the Eastern people are generous in an invitation, both interms of the dishes and in terms of the utterances they use in aninvitation.
I often joke about myself that I do not liketo be invited to dinner. Maybe some students have tried to inviteme, but they thought that Mr. Hou didn't like to be invited. Yeah,"maybe". However, did they ever practise "tug of politeness" duringthe invitation? If they did, how many rounds did they exercise?
It often occurs to me that someone steps over my feet on a busor in a queue and I always wait for a "Sorry" with full preparationof an "All right" at the tip of my tongue. But the cases are verylikely to be the silence of that person. My "All right" has to beheld back to my throat. Sometimes I can do nothing but start with a"Sorry" first, which makes that person more silent and onlyconfusion is left to us.
As a teacher in the school, the cases are countlessfor me to be treated impolitely.
Generally speaking, the students should greetthe teachers before the class, or make salutes. You may think it amatter of the kindergarten and primary school stuff. Ah! Probably.Anyway, it feels strange to me catering straight to the pointwithout a greeting.
It's common sense that one should offer an "excuse me" if he islate and apologize to the teacher. He can come into the classroomand have a seat only after getting the permission (followed by athank). This is quite necessary especially for someone who is latefor long and he should give "reasons" or make "promises" inaddition even with the idea that he may not be allowed toenter.
It's common sense that a student should answer"Here" or "Yes sir!" when his teacher asks him to answer a questionor to make comments. But I am always confused about whether thisstudent is in class or not,or if he does hear me.
It's common sense that the teacher should be the first to comeout of the classroom when a class is over. However, the studentsleave one by one even before I finish my class. It's me to shut offthe electronic devices, to clear up my stuff, to turn off thelights and to close the door. My friends who are not familiar withthis circumstance are likely to ask me when I change my job tooffer rear services if they happen to see me there. (It's not thatI shouldn't do the rear services but that my job is to teach.)
Where is our etiquette? You probably will saythat it's in the school instead of in the society. Will we be morepolite in the society? I've never heard about one who learns to dosomething in the society that he fails to do in the school. To bepolite in the school is not a performance for the teachers but acultivation of etiquette. It is the probation and internship beforeone goes to work in the society.
If a student finishes a thesis, he will surely email it to histeacher with great pleasure. It's a teacher's duty to read throughit and give him some advice. Nevertheless, the student should bepolite in the email. A phone call in advance is better. Of course,it's more important to do several revisions and checks in casethere are some huge mistakes left. It's not appropriate to send adraft to the teacher. Courtesy is required when one deals with theteacher's notes and advice. More is needed to ask for the teacher'ssuggestions for the second version. How to make it easier for theteacher to handle the article? Try the best not to have him readfrom the very beginning till the end. Positive confirmation andexpressions of gratitude are inevitable. A thank-you phone call andface-to-face thanks are also necessary besides texts andemails.
The teachers are to be respected with particular attention bothin terms of writing thesis and in terms of doing assignments orexams. The most important thing is not to plagiarize, which isconsidered the most indignant thing one can do to a teacher.
All that's mentioned above is my point of view. The comparisonof etiquettes among Chinese, Japanese, Englishand American people remain undone here.
I felt grieved when coming up with that doubt. I hope you canprove my doubt to be proved wrong totally.
[朱大慧]
As the old saying goes, “China is a country ofcourtesy”. Is it the same situation in present days? I’d like totake it with a grain of salt.
This kind of doubt of mine will be definitelycondemned. But, hold back your words for a while. Why? Firstly, ifyou want to have words with me, this kind of behavior absolutelyexplicates that my doubt are fair and just; secondly, we can justsee whether the accusation is true that Chinese people is notpolite enough while Japanese people is just more polite. We canalso see the impoliteness which happens around us.
Leech (a paper published in the last issue ofJournal of foreign languages in 2005) took Chinese, Koreanand Japanese for examples when discussed Oriental politeness.Certainly, he did not take examples from any other Orientallanguages, otherwise more languages and countries would beincluded. He assumed that these several countries were countries ofcourtesy, and of equal courtesy, which represented the politeOrient. His insight and contribution to pragmatics are appreciated.The personal friendship between us are also appreciated andcherished. But doubt is doubt, and my doubt is preserved as above.(Of course, his appreciation is highly appreciated.)
Speaking of Oriental (Chinese) politeness battlesor tug of politeness, it is nothing but arguing about invitationand rejection. The inviter won’t stop inviting unless he hadinvited people twice or more, and the invited won’t accept theinvitation for the first round. According to his model, if theinviter was sincere, three times of inviting was necessary. Andprovided that the invited really wanted to say no to the inviter(such as it was really inconvenient for him to take thatinvitation), three time of saying-no is also necessary.
For example, the tug begins with the fistround:
“Mr. So-and-so, would you and Mrs. So-and-so liketo have dinner with me on my treat tonight?”
“Nope，never mind！Just forget it.”
The second round:
“You have helped me in a lot of things; I shouldhave invited you for dinner. May I have the honor?”
“Thank you. But, really never mind it. Helping youis my duty. And the help is not worth mentioning about.
The third round:
“Mr. So-and-so, no more courtesy, please. SixO’clock at “big family”, Da Qian Restaurant. Be there, besquare.”
“All right. / Ah, thank you. But, to be honest, Ihave been invited by someone else. Let’s make it another time, OK?Thanks a lot, you’re being so kind.”
This tug of politeness may go onand on (such as discussing about when is “the” another time to havedinner). Whatsoever, what Leech means is that the Oriental is verypolite in inviting someone. Its generosity is not only manifestedon the table, but also in the language for invitation.
I always said for fun that I was not fond of havingmeals with someone and being invited. There were some bold studentstrying to invite me. Yes！Alfred was not fond of being invited fordinner, they gossiped. Maybe! But, did they have the tug when theyinvited me? How many rounds did we have in the tug?
I was always stamped when takingthe bus or waiting in the line, and I was always waiting for theothers to say “I’m sorry” and was well-prepared for myself to say“That’s all right”. But, on most occasions, they were silent aslamps. My “That’s all right” kept to myself and had no letting-out.For several times, it was I who said “I’m sorry”, which made theone who should have said more silent and the others feelingbaffled.
As a teacher, my suffering ofimpoliteness in class was innumerable.
Normally speaking, before theclass, the students should greet and salute to Hou Ge. You wouldprobably say that’s the behavior done in kindergarten and primaryschool. Ah! Maybe! Whatsoever, getting down to business withoutgreeting with each other is kind of weird. Really weird.
Normally speaking, when you are late for class, youshould say “May I come in?” When the teacher let you in, you shouldapologize. You can not sit down unless you are permitted to do soand saying “thank you” to the teacher. If you are so much late forclass, this kind of behavior is even more necessary. And theapology should include several programs such as “reason” and“promise”. One more thing is that you should also be preparedyou’re not allowed to get in.
Normally speaking, when theteacher asks some student a question or wants someone to do thetalking, such as “Zhang Sanfeng”, the student should answerimmediately “here” or “yes, sir”. But, in normal situation, I cannot make it clear whether this buddy exists or not, or whether heis in the classroom. If he is in, I don’t know whether he hears meor not.
Normally speaking, when the classis over, the teacher should be the first to leave the classroom.But, the saddest thing is that when my class barely finishes, thestudents all vanish one by one. The one left to shut down thecomputer, pack up things, turn off the light and close the door isme. When people who do not learn about the truth and catch me doingsuch things will say as such: “when did you transfer to logisticsdepartment at SISU?”(I’m not implying logistics blablabla…, butlogistics is not my division of labor!)
Where is our politeness off to?Maybe you will say this is at school, not in society. When we arein society, we will do every polite thing. But I hear nothing like“we can not do this at school, but we can do it in society”. Thecourtesy in school is not done for the sake of teachers, but donefor the sake of cultivation and learning of courtesy. We can regardthis as a practice of courtesy.
If a student writes a paper, he will be glad tosend it over to the teacher. It is normal for the teacher to readit over and make some comments. But the student should be politeenough to send the e-mail to the teacher. He had better make aphone call to make a request. Certainly, the more important thingto do is to revise again and again and proofread, ensuring no bigmistakes. He can not send the draft to the teacher. He should bepolite to treat teacher’s comments and suggestion. If he wants tosend the revised paper to the teacher for checking through, morecourtesy is required. How can he save some force and energy for theteacher? In other words, he should do everything not to keep theteacher reading from the very start to the end. He should affirmand thank to the teacher’s work. Apart from short-messages, e-mailsand phone calls, he should thank the teacher in person and face toface.
Whatever write a paper or accomplish homework ortake exams, we should pay some respect to our teachers. There is somuch to pay attention to. The most important is not to plagiarize.The one who plagiarize pays least respect to the teachers.Whatmentioned above is some experience from me. I haven’t compareChinese with Japanese and Americans yet.
Doubt said above is definitely heart-struck; and I hope all ofyou can prove to me that my doubt is completely wrong.
[王洁]
这个拔河的礼貌还可能继续下去（如商量下次是什么时候）。反正，Leech的意思是东方人请客是很客气的，其慷慨不仅体现在饭桌上，还在邀请的语言上。
我常戏言不喜欢吃饭，不喜欢被邀请。也有一些学生尝试邀请，是的，猴哥不喜欢被邀请吃饭，他们说。也许吧。不过，他们请我的时候拔河了吗？拔河有几个回合？
我坐车或者排队时常被人踩脚，等待对方说一句“对不起”，随时做好“没关系”的准备。可是，十有八九是对方无语。我的“没关系”说不出去。有几次我只能说“对不起”，搞得对方更是沉默，大家纳闷。
作为人民教师，我上课的不礼貌遭遇可以说是不可胜数了。
按理说，上课前学生得问候老师吧，还有敬礼什么的。你可能会说，那是幼儿园和小学的事。哈！也许。反正，我觉得没有互相问候就说正题是有点怪，怪怪的。
按理说，迟到一会儿是要喊报告的，当老师让你进来时，你要道歉，得到上座的许可后才可以（致谢后）到你的座位上就座。若迟到得很久，这些更是必然的，而且道歉还得加上“理由、保证”等项目，还得做好不让进去的思想准备。
按理说，老师要问谁问题或让某某发言，如“张三丰！”这个学生应该立刻应一句“有！”或者“Yessir!”。但是常常是我不知有没有这个老兄，或者他老人家在不在课堂里。若在，不知他听见了没有。
This tug of politeness may proceed for another while (forinstance, to discuss about the time for the next gathering).Anyway, Leech means easterners are quite mannerly when invitingpeople to dinner, with great generosity shown both on the diningtable and in the felicitous wording applied.
I always jokingly say that I am neither reallyinto dining nor being invited to dinner. But some students stilltry now and then guessing whether I am what I claimed to be whenbeing invited. They say maybe Brother Hou is indeed not fond ofdining anyway. I may be so.But every time I get invited, do I tug with politeness? Or do Imake them suffer?
I often get stepped on myfeet when on a bus or queuing with many people. In this case, I amalways prepared to pardon them with words like “It doesn’t matter”only if they say sorry. But 8 or 9 out of 10people will keep silence. I can’t give the “sorry” word so that Isomehow popped out “sorry” only to make others more confused andsilenced.
As a teacher, I meet with countless situations where rudenessoccurs. As a tradition, students should greet or salute theirteacher before a class begins. You might say it’s what kids do intheir kindergartens or primary schools. Ha! Maybe. But I do feel a littlestrange to get down to the point without exchanging greetingsfirstly.
When a student is late for class, it ought to be that she or hemakes the report to teacher for permission to go in. When allowed,he or she needs to apologize before sitting down. It will be morenecessary especially when it’s a long delay. Apology should also beaccompanied by excuses and promises, along with preparation ofbeing rejected.
When a teacher asks someone, say a student named Zhang Sanfeng,to answer a question or make a statement, he should instantly replywith “Here” or “Yes Sir”. But all too often I can’t make sure thathe exists or whether this dude is attending the class or not. If heis in the classroom, did he hear me calling?
