爱华网笑话应该是指一个短的段子或故事 ,末尾处有一个精彩的话锋一急转弯或妙语 。下面小编整理了好笑的英文小笑话故事，希望大家喜欢!
好笑的英文小笑话故事：人尽其才
little boy bustled into a grocery one day with a memorandum in his hand.
一天，一个小男孩匆匆忙忙地走进了一家杂货店，手里拿着一张清单。
"Hello, Mr. Smith,” He said. “I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 32 cents.”
“史密斯先生，你好。”他说道:“三毛二分钱一磅的咖啡，请给我十三磅。”
"Very good,” said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.
“好的。”杂货店老板马上把这笔生意记了下来。
"Anything e1se, Charlie?"
“还要别的什么不，查理?”
"Yes. Twenty一seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents.”
“要的。再要二十七磅糖，九分钱一磅的。”
"The loaf, eh? And what else?"
“面包要不要?还要什么?”
"Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 20 cents.”
“七磅半咸肉，二毛钱一磅的。”
"That will be a good brand. Go on.”
这肉是名牌呢。还有吗?”
"Five pounds of tea at 90 cents; eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint; two eight一pound hams at 21 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts at 24 cents a jar.”
“九毛钱一磅的茶叶，给我五磅;八分钱一品脱的糖浆要十一夸脱半;二毛一分钱的八磅大火腿要两只，二毛四分钱一罐的腌核桃要五打。”
The grocer made out the bill.
杂货店老板把帐单算了出来。
"It’s a big order,” he said. "Did your mother tell you to pay for it?"
“你买了很多东西，”他说:“你妈妈叫你现在把钱付清吗?”
"My mother,” said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, "has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic lesson and I had to get it done somehow.”
小男孩一面把那清楚准确的账单放进口袋一面说:“这和我妈没关系，这是我自己的算术作业，我总得想办法把它做出来!”
好笑的英文小笑话故事：混合双打
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?
体育老师:孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗?
Nick: Yes sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.
尼克:是的，老师，经常见。昨天夜里我还见过呢?
Teacher: Please tell us something about it
老师:那你就给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says,‘Domestic shame should not be published.’
尼克:啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”
好笑的英文小笑话故事：我自己过去
There was once a landlord who always pretended he was knowledgeable though he was completely unable to read or write.
从前，有一个地主是个既不会读也不会写的文盲，但他却偏要在人前装作很有学问。
One day when the landlord was chatting with his guests, a servant came in and gave him a letter which asked him to lend a cow. The landlord was afraid that his guests would know he was unable to read or write, so he opened the envelope and glanced over the words. Then he said to the servant, "OK, please tell him I’11 go there myself in a few minutes.”
一天，当地主正和宾客聊天的时候，仆人走进来递给他一封信，信上请他出借一头牛。地主害怕被客人知道自己是个文盲，于是他打开信封，瞧了瞧信上的字，然后对仆人说:“好的，你告诉他我等一下自己过去。”
好笑的英文小笑话故事：你好，水手
The grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student.
一个头发灰白的老船长在测验一个从海军学校毕业的新手。
"What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?"
“如果船的右弦突然刮起了暴风雨，你会采取什么措施?”
"I'd throw out an anchor, sir.”
“我会抛锚，先生。”
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
“如果船尾也刮起了暴风雨，你会怎么做?”
"I'd throw out another anchor, sir.”
“我会再抛一个锚，先生。”
"But what if a third storm sprang up forward?"
“那么如果船头第三次刮起了暴风雨，怎么办?”
"I'd throw out another anchor, captain.”
“我会再次抛锚，船长。”
"Just a minute, son, Where in the world are you getting all these anchors?"
“等一下，孩子。你到底从哪弄来那么多锚的?”
"From the same place you’re getting all your storms，sir.”
“从您弄来暴风雨的地方，先生。”
好笑的英文小笑话故事：要叫先生
Teacher: (to a new boy) What’s，your name, my little fellow?
老师:(对一位新生说)小同学，你叫什么名字?
New boy: Erbert Arris.
新生:我叫赫博特·阿瑞斯。
Teacher: Always say ‘sir' please, when you are speaking to master. It's more polite.
老师:请你跟老师说话时叫先生，这样比较有礼貌。
New boy: ( apologetically )Sir Erbert Arris.
新生:(带歉意地)我叫赫博特·阿瑞斯先生。
