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高中优秀英语美文：Relationship that Lasts
If somebody tells you, "I'll love you for ever," will you believe it?
I don't think there's any reason not to. We are ready to believe such commitment at the moment, whatever change may happen afterwards. As for the belief in an everlasting love, that's another thing.
Then you may be asked whether there is such a thing as an everlasting love. I'd answer I believe in it. But an everlasting love is not immutable(不变的).
You may unswervingly love or be loved by a person. But love will change its composition with the passage of time. It will not remain the same. In the course of your growth and as a result of your increased experience, love will become something different to you.
In the beginning you believed a fervent love for a person could last indefinitely. By and by, however, "fervent" gave way to "prosaic(平凡的)" . Precisely because of this change it became possible for love to last. then what was meant by an everlasting love would eventually end up in a sort of interdependence.
We used to insist on the difference between love and liking. The former seemed much more beautiful than the latter. One day, however, it turns out there's really no need to make such difference. Liking is actually a sort of love. By the same token, the everlasting interdependence is actually an everlasting love.
I wish I could believe there was somebody who would love me for ever. That's, as we all know, too romantic to be true. Instead, it will more often than not be a case of lasting relationship.
高中优秀英语美文：为什么你会爱上你的爱人?
Have you ever known a married couple that just didn't seem as though they should fit together -- yet they are both happy in the marriage, and you can't figure out why?
I know of one couple: He is a burly ex-athlete who, in addition to being a successful salesman, coaches Little League, is active in his Rotary Club and plays golf every Saturday with friends. Meanwhile, his wife is petite(娇小的), quiet and a complete Homebody(喜欢在家消遣的男人). She doesn't even like to go out to dinner.
What mysterious force drives us into the arms of one person, while pushing us away from another who might appear equally desirable to any unbiased observer?
Of the many factors influencing our idea of the perfect mate, one of the most telling, according to John Money, professor emeritus of medical psychology and pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, is what he calls our "love map" -- a group of messages encoded in our brains that describes our likes and dislikes. It shows our preferences in hair and eye color, in voice, smell, and body build. It also records the kind of personality that appeals to us, whether it's the warm and friendly type or the strong, silent type.
In short, we fall for and pursue those people who most clearly fit our love map. And this love map is largely determined in childhood. By age eight, the pattern for our ideal mate has already begun to float around in our brains.
When I lecture, I often ask couples in the audience what drew them to their dates or mates. Answers range from "She's strong and independent" and "I go for redheads" to "I love his sense of humor" and "That crooked smile, that's what did it."
Robert Winch, a longtime sociology professor at Northwestern University, stated in his research that our choice of a marriage partner involves a number of social similarities. But he also maintained that we look for someone with complementary needs. A talker is attracted to someone who likes to listen, or an aggressive personality may seek out a more passive partner.
However, there are instances where people of different social backgrounds end up getting married and being extremely happy. I know of one man, a factory worker from a traditional Irish family in Chicago, who fell in love with an African American Baptist. When they got married, their friends and relatives predicted a quick failure. But 25 years later, the marriage is still strong.
It turns out that the woman was like her mother-in-law -- a loving and caring person, the type who rolls up her sleeves and volunteers to work at church or help out people in need. This is the quality that her husband fell for, and it made color and religion and any other social factors irrelevant to him.
Or as George Burns, who was Jewish and married the Irish Catholic Gracie Allen, used to say: his marriage was his favorite gig, even though it was Gracie who got all the laughs. The two of them did share certain social similarities -- both grew up in the city, in large but poor families. Yet what really drew them together was evident from the first time they went onstage together. They complemented each other perfectly: he was the straight man, and she delivered the punch lines.
There are certainly such "odd couples" who could scarcely be happier. We all know some drop-dead beautiful person married to an unusually plain wallflower. This is a trade-off some call the equity theory.
When men and women possess a particular asset, such as high intelligence, unusual beauty, a personality that makes others swoon, or a hefty bankroll that has the same effect, some decide to trade their assets for someone else's strong points. The raging beauty may trade her luster for the power and security that come with big bucks. The not-so-talented fellow from a good family may swap his pedigree(血统，家族) for a poor but brilliantly talented mate.
Indeed, almost any combination can survive and thrive. Once, some neighbors of mine stopped by for a friendly social engagement. During the evening Robert, a man in his 50s, suddenly blurted out, "What would you say if your daughter planned to marry someone who has a ponytail and insisted on doing the cooking?"
"Unless your daughter loves cooking," I responded, "I'd say she was darn lucky."
"Exactly," his wife agreed. "It's really your problem, Robert -- that old macho thing rearing its head again. The point is, they're in love."
I tried to reassure Robert, pointing out that the young man their daughter had picked out seemed to be a relaxed, nonjudgmental sort of person -- a trait he shared with her own mother.
Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Why not? When people become love-struck, what happens in that instant is the couple probably discover a unique something they have in common. It could be something as mundane as they both were reading the same book or were born in the same town. At the same time they recognize some trait in the other that complements their own personality.
高中优秀英语美文：哪里才是给你幸福的地方
Once, when a relationship I loved but struggled with was ending, I felt convinced that if only he and I went to the spot of one of our first dates (a place we had returned to throughout our relationship and where we always felt calm and connected), we would somehow figure everything out. Of course, I didn't suggest we go there, and so we didn't, and the relationship came to its natural end. Looking back I don't think the place could have breathed new life into anything at the time, anyway, but what's striking to me is that, for a moment, I was certain that a place had the power to do so. Such is the power of a couple's secret, private space.
When we're growing up, forts made of blankets and secret clubhouses provide space for friendships and crushes to develop. And if you've seen the movie Up!, you perhaps have some thoughts on how one's childhood clubhouse(俱乐部) can - with a little care, fresh paint, and the right partner-in-crime - create space for adult love to bloom.
As women and men grow up and form loving adult relationships, it becomes increasingly important for couples to create a space in which they can relax, be themselves, and grow closer. For many couples, the bed they share may be the place to which they retreat for feelings of safety, comfort and love - not to mention sex. A couple's bed is where they may let down their emotional and physical guards during sleep as well as during sex. In fact, it may be one of the few places where they can make themselves feel entirely vulnerable to another human being.
For some people, trust and security come easy. For others, learning to be vulnerable to another person is a struggle that they may or may not win with time, practice and what feels like great risk taking. Consequently, as damaging as affairs in any shape or form may be, they can feel particularly threatening when a person allows their affair into the bed they share with their partner. Betraying trust by letting someone else into a couple's bed can feel not just hurtful, but devastating.
The bed is such a special place for many women and men that it's not unusual for some couples to say that they have their best conversations with each other when they are in bed. Maybe they wake up on weekends feeling rested and enjoy lying together, just talking. Perhaps before sleep, the ritual of getting undressed, settling into bed and holding one another close allows the conversation to flow more naturally than during the day. For some couples, it's sex that brings them closer - kissing, hugging, touching, and naked passion may be followed by cuddling, closeness and sharing secrets one might never think to share over breakfast, let's say, or watching television.
As relationship-enhancing as a bed or bedroom may be, others places can allow love or sex to bloom, too. A bath tub can serve as a private sanctuary in which some couples dissect their day, share their dreams, or seduce one another. The shower can be not only a place to become clean but a place to start kissing or to have passionate, lustful sex. Some couples find their special place outside the home: a fire tower nestled in the woods in which they can take in an entire forest of autumn leaves, a park in which they can lie down and look at clouds, or a neighborhood hotel that they can retreat to for a night away from the kids and a chance to feel young again. Even a living room sofa can provide comfort and closeness for a couple or family as they huddle together(挤在一起) to eat popcorn and watch a movie.
Wherever you find your special place, know that it is important to have one and to visit it with some regularity to keep it alive as a sanctuary(避难所) and a place that matters. Spaces become alive in the ways that they bring us closer to a partner, a family or a group of friends. As life gets hectic and relationships become stressed, special places can help to center a relationship. Going to bed together can feel calming, sneaking away to your favorite hotel can ignite passion, and drawing a fragranced bath for your significant other may just inspire romance or re-connection. Where's your secret spot?
