爱华网苏联政治笑话的功能,就国家政权层面而言,它具有十分鲜明的警示作用,因而具有建设性的功能,并发挥着政治安全阀的作用。下面是小编带来的爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译大全
(一)
An older lady gets undressed and starts to get into the bathtub. She gets about halfway into the tub and thinks, "Was I getting into the tub or getting out?”
一个上了年纪的女人脱了衣服准备去洗澡。她刚把一只脚迈进浴缸就想:我是打算进去呢?还是正要出去?
She calls out, "Bernice! Was I getting into the bathtub or getting out?"
她大声喊:“伯尼斯!我这是正要去洗澡还是打算要出来呢?”
Bernice says, "Well I don’t know. I' 11 have to come up and look.” Bernice starts walking up the stairs to the bathroom, gets halfway up and thinks to herself, “Was I going up the stairs or down? " She calls out "Sally! Was I going up or down the stairs?”
伯尼斯说:“我不知道，我这就上去看看。”伯尼斯开始往楼上的浴室走，走到一半时想到:我这是要上楼呢还是下楼?她大喊:“莎莉!我这是要上楼呢还是要下楼呢?”
Sally, who is just being with Bernice down in the living room calls back,“How should I know?” and thinks to herself, “I' m glad I’m not losing my mind like the other people in this house.”
刚还和伯尼斯在楼下客厅里的莎莉喊:“我怎么知道?”她自己想:我真的很高兴我不像这个屋子里的其它人一样没记性。
(二)
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
卡尔森被指控盗窃一辆奔驰轿车，经过长时间的审讯，陪审团将他无罪释放。之后，卡尔森找到了听证会上主持的法官。
“Your honor,” he said, “I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.”
“法官大人，”他说，“我想申请一张逮捕令抓捕那个肮脏的律师。”
“Why?” asked the judge, “He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?”
“为什么?”法官问，“他让你赢得了无罪释放。难道他有什么罪吗?”
“Well，your honor,”replied Carlson, “I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.”
“是的，法官大人，”卡尔森回答，“我没有钱付我的律师费，他就把我那辆偷来的车开走了。”
爆笑英语小笑话带翻译欣赏
An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.
一个美国游客在以色列打了一辆出租车。使这个美国游客震惊的是，当出租车开到红灯底下的时候，司机根本没有减速就直着冲了过去。虽然他很吃惊，但他什么也没说。他觉得自己是个游客不应该找麻烦。
The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and，to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name，are you stopping at a green light?!”
一切都很顺利，直到下一个十字路口。这回是绿灯，可让美国人惊愕的是那个司机踩刹车停了下来。他再也憋不住了，就问司机:“我问你，刚才你闯红灯我什么都没说，可这回是绿灯为什么你却停了下来?”
The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”
那个以色列司机看着那美国人，惊讶的喊道:“你疯了吗?另一个司机现在正要闯红灯，难道你想找死吗?”
经典的爆笑英语小笑话带翻译
Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.
一对爱尔兰情侣坐在公园里的长椅上。他们手牵着手，但是那个女的一直紧张地摆弄她的双手。
Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”
玛丽:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告诉你。”
Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”
帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什么?有什么事你尽管可以跟我说。”
Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”
玛丽:“这件事简直太难讲出口了。”
Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”
帕克瑞克:“请你相信我，到底是什么事?”
Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”
玛丽:“那是好几年前的事了。我爸爸失业了，当时没有钱。”
Patrick: “So, what is it?”
帕特瑞克:“那然后呢?”
Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”
玛丽:“哦，当时我们简直是绝望之极。所以有时候我不得不去做妓女!”
Patrick: “WHAT!”
帕特瑞克:“你说什么?”
Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”
玛丽:“我们太需要钱了。”
Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”
帕特瑞克:“不要找借口开脱了。出卖你的灵魂，你怎么能这么做呢? 你! 玛丽，这我实在是接受不了。”
Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”
玛丽:“不，帕特请不要这样，我觉得你能理解我。我相信你依然爱我，哪怕我曾经出卖过自己的身体。”
Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”
帕特瑞克:“哦，你等会儿，那没关系。刚才我还以为你是说你是当了新教徒呢。”
