爱华网笑话是幽默的语言表达。它是一种常见的幽默传达方式。笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言。下面是小编带来的超级好笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
超级好笑的英语笑话篇一
直言不讳
My husband bought me an automatic dishwasher for my birthday. In filling out the guarantee，he came across the question，“What year and model dishwasher did you're place?"He wrote:"Wife—Age 24".
我丈夫在我生日那天给我买了台全自动洗碗机。在填写保修单叶，他看到里面有一项是:“你替换的旧洗碗机是哪年生产的，什么型号?”我丈夫写道:“妻子—24岁”。
超级好笑的英语笑话篇二
梦幻世界
A hotel manager in a small town reports that a guest woke up everyone in the hotel screaming，"It's in the phone book! It's in the the phone book!"
饭店经理报告说一名客人把所有的人都吵醒了，他不停地尖叫:“就在电话薄里，就在电话薄里。”
The manager got the house detective and they let themselves into the man's room，where they found him in the midst of a nightmare. "I was having a horrible dream，”the man explained when awakened. "I dreamed the income-tax people wanted to send me a big refund, but they'd lost my address!"
经理找来侦探后，带他进入了那位客人的房间。原来，那位客人是在做梦。“我做了个非常可怕的梦，”那人醒后解释说:“我梦见收税人想寄退给我一笔钱，但他们把我的地址给丢了.”
超级好笑的英语笑话篇三
.跑道已清
An airline ticket agent was being given a particularly rough time by a woman who complained about the departure times. She said，“Young man，I could stick a feather in my ear and get there faster. "
当一位飞机售票员也够例霉的。一位妇女在向他抱怨飞机起飞得太晚，这位售票员真不知如何是好。那位妇女说:“年较人，如果我能在我的耳朵土播上羽毛，我都会比你们的飞机先到那儿。”
"Madam,"replied the agent calmly,"the runways are clear."
“好啊售票员平静地说:“现在我们的飞机跑这正空着呢。”
超级好笑的英语笑话篇四
一报还一报
An acquaintance of mine stopped at a local tavern after work and spent the evening there. When’ he arrived home around ten o'clock, his wife was sitting at the kitchen table，waiting. Instead of questioning or scolding him，however , she simply asked pleasantly if he wanted dinner. He was not interested in eating，and went off to bed.
我的一个熟人在一次下班后，把车停在了一个小饭馆前，在那儿他消磨可一个晚上。大约十点钟他才回到家。他的妻子坐在厨房的桌旁等他。她没有追问他什么，也没有责怪他，只是和蔼地问他想不想吃点什么。他已经对晚餐不感兴趣，于是，就上床睡觉了。
At 3:30 a. m.，the alarm went off. He scrambled out of bed and turned on the light. When he saw the time, he roared at his wife，demanding an explanation.
大约在凌晨三点半的时候，闹钟突然响了。他赶紧掀开了被子，打开了灯。当他看清了时问时，他冲妻子大声地吼叫为什么。
"Well,"she replied placidly, "if it took you four-hours to get home from work，I figured it would take you four hours to get back to work，and I didn't want you to be late. "
妻子和气地说:“我想，假如你下班回家路止花了四个小时的话，你上班当然也需要花四个小时赶路了。我只是不想让你迟到。”
超级好笑的英语笑话篇五
把他送走!
The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it，they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when found herself responsible for cleaning and feediag the creature,she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of them remarked,"He's been around here a long time_we'll miss him."
我的孩子们都想要一只仓鼠。在他们发出了坚定的誓言—自己照顾那个动物之后，他们真的得到了一只。他们给它取了名字叫“丹尼”。两个月后，妈妈终于意识到实际上清洗和喂养这只动物的事全是由她一人承当着。因此，她为那只仓鼠找了个新家。孩于们对“丹尼”的离开并没做出什么反应。只有其中的一个说了句:“他和我们在一起已有很长一段时间了—我们会想他的。”
"Yes,"Mom replied."But he's too much work for one person,and since I'm that one person,I say he goes."
“是呀，”妈妈说，“但是，由一个人来照顾他也实在是够累的。既然我就是那个人，我说送他走.”
Another child offered,"Well,maybe if he wouldn't eat so much and wouldn't be so messy,we could keep him."
另一个孩于说:“如果他吃的不那么多，他不那么脏乱，也许我们还能把他留下。”
But Mom was firm."It's time to take Danny to his new home now,"she insisted."Go and get his cage."
但是妈妈很坚决:“现在该给丹尼找个新家了，”妈妈一点儿也不肯让步。“去把他的笼子拿来。”
With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted,"Danny? We thought you said Daddy!"
这时孩子们异口同声地喊了起来:“丹尼?我们还以为是送爹爹走呢!”
