爱华网人之所以异于禽兽,最明显的一条就是爱看人出笑话,甚至连自己出的笑话也感兴趣,收藏笑话书是大家共同的爱好,特别是相声界和漫画界的人。下面是小编带来的九年级搞笑的英语笑话阅读，欢迎阅读!
九年级搞笑的英语笑话阅读篇一
有趣的假设
Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
我妹妹婚后不久，我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾，那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了，免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?"
客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何，你那天穿的是什么?’，
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是，我们挣了一千多块钱。”
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。
"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
“噢，没有，”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着，许多人只是来看热闹，你从他们身上是分文也得不到的，所以我们决定收门票。”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
说到这儿，爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下，我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱，也没收取任何钱财。
九年级搞笑的英语笑话阅读篇二
漫无边际的菜单
A man dirning with a friend explained the peculiarities of the restaurant they were in:"The waiters never admit they don't have something. They'll take your order. for a slice of sun and too away as if they mean to get it...then they'll come back and say they just ran out.”
一位和朋友吃饭的男士解释他们在饭馆里吃饭的怪现象时说:“服务员从未承认过他们没有什么莱。假如你想要一份太阳，他们也会拿着菜单离去，好像真能给你弄来似的。然后，他们回来说这道菜刚卖完。”为了证明这一点，我说:“请来一份恐龙。”
To prove his point，he said to the waiter,“The dinosaur，please.”
“好的，先生，”服务员回答说:“您要的恐龙是做得嫩点还是老点儿的?”
“Yes，sir，“answered the waiter.”And how would you like it cooked?"
“老点儿的。”
"Well done!"
服务员离开了，又很快回来了。“对不起，先生，我们的恐龙菜刚卖完。”
The waiter left and returned quickly.“I'm sorry, sir，but we've just run out of a dinosaur.”
“什么?”顾客气愤地说:“没有恐龙?”
" What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment."No dinosaur?"
那服务员低声地说:“我们的确还剩一些。”他显得作常自信的样子。“但恐龙肉有点儿不太鲜了，所以我们还是不给您上这道菜的好。”
The waiter lowered his voice. "Well，we do have some left，“he whispered confidentially,"...but it's not very fresh and I won't serve it!”
九年级搞笑的英语笑话阅读篇三
守财奴
There was once a large，fat woman who had a small，thin husband. He had a job in a big company and was given his weekly wages every Friday evening. As soon as he got home on Fridays，his wife used to make hirn give her all his money，and then she used to give him back only enough to buy his lunch in the office every day.
曾有一位块儿大、膘肥的女人，她的丈夫却是瘦小、干瘪。丈夫是在一家大公司做事。每到周五晚上领到工资，也正是周五这位丈夫回家时，老婆就让他把所有钱都交出来，然后再给他一点儿在办公室吃午饭的钱。
One day the small man came home very excited. He hurried into the living-room. His wife was listening to the radio and eating chocolates.”You'll never guess what happened to me today，dear,"he said. He waited for a few seconds and then added:“I won ten thousand pounds on the lottery!”
一天，这位小丈夫回到家，兴奋得不得了。他匆匆忙忙地来到起居室。他老婆正在那儿听广播，吃巧克力。“亲爱的，你永远也猜不到我今天怎么了，”他说道，过了数秒钟他又说:“我中了一万英磅的彩票。”
"That's wonderful!"said his wife delightedly. But then she thought for a few seconds and added angrily，"But wait a moment! How could you afford to buy the ticket?".
“太棒了!”他老婆非常高兴地说。但她又沉思了一会儿并气愤地问:“你说说，你拿什么钱买的彩票?”
