爱华网笑话是一种重要的交际手段。它可以拉近人与人之间的距离，让大家更融洽地相处。本文是五年级上册英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
五年级上册英语笑话：Quick Service
A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."
"Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.
"When will they be ready?" the man asked.
"I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.
That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.
The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.
Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.
He remembered his shoes.
"They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.擾He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.
"Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"
"Name?" the old shoemaker asked.
"Smith," the man said.
"I'll go and see. They may be out back.
The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.
"Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."
五年级上册英语笑话：父亲在哪儿?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
五年级上册英语笑话：Whose Son Is the Greatest
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."
The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.
" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"
五年级上册英语笑话：天堂棒球赛
There were two friends who were both big fans of American baseball for their entire lives. They always talked and would discuss anything that concerned baseball. They went to every baseball game possible, year-round, and they said to each other that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in Heaven. One summer night, one of the two friends passed away (after watching a baseball game, of course). So he died a happy man.
A few nights later, his friend Bob heard a voice from beyond, saying, "It's your friend!" And Bob said, "John, is that you?" "Of course it's me!"John replied. "That's unbelievable!" Bob exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?" And John said, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" "Tell me the good news first." "OK. The good news is that, yes, there is baseball in Heaven." Bob said, "Wow, that's wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?" "Well, the bad news is that you are pitching tomorrow night!"
五年级上册英语笑话：上帝的小孩
A preschooler asked his mother, "Mom, tomorrow our teacher is going to ask who my father is. What should I say?" The mother said, "Just tell her that God is your father!" The next day, the boy went to school, and the teacher asked him, "Who is your father?" Scratching his scalp, the boy could not find an answer to the question.
The teacher asked again, "Who is your father?" The child confessed, "I used to think that Mr. Smith was my father. But yesterday my mother told me that I am the son of another person, and I cannot remember his name!"
