我一直试着变大胆些,无论是在两个人的谈话中或是做一个演讲。过去,我总是小心说话以避免惹怒他人。但我不是孤独的,很多人都和我一样在试图变得勇敢。 以至于他们的话都很平淡完全影响不了听众。
培养大胆的态度。
不可能在演讲或讲座中随随便便就变得勇敢,你需要在生活中每时每刻都去尝试说出来。不然是不会在演讲中获得勇气的。试着在他人面前或者一个小组里说出你的想法。
我发现写博客可以让我具有勇气。因为我的胆怯有些博文花了很久才发出,但做到了就表示 我变得勇敢了。这里有一些建议可以帮你在日常生活中培养勇气。
1.别总当好人
我总是想变得善良被人喜欢,这让我无法变得勇敢。我不想因我所说而冒犯他人并与之争论。很多方面都是这样,这让我胆怯。我把写有这段话的告示贴贴在桌上:(试图让每个人都喜欢你是种平庸)2.说你所想
是否因为想让所说的话完美而且也有充分依据就不敢说出自己的观点?我也是这样,但是研究表明那些说的更多的人会被认为是领导者。这就是这样,这是胡说观点,他们说的不必要是明智或原创的观点。所以不要总是想着变完美,说出你的观点来
3.不要觉得会惹怒别人就不敢说话
总是因为担心恼怒他人而不敢说出自己观点。结果情况变得更糟糕,我沉默了结果却被问及“为什么不早些告诉我。
4.你的观点可以帮助他人是否觉得你的观点不值得分享,因为那些显而易见了。那么请看这个愉快的短片。
5.最糟糕又会发生什么呢
有时我想勇敢说出来,但是我沉默了因为我想象了一个无以言表的灾难。但是我彻底思考遍再问自己,最坏又能发生什么呢于是我就释然了,最糟糕的无非是那个人会生一天气。我能应付么,是的我可以。很多时候他们生气都不会超过五分钟。他们会感谢我的直接。通常我们害怕的那个结果都不会出现。
怎样在演讲中变得大胆
这里有些建议让你在演讲中变得更大胆。
1.让听众有所行动
单方面的向观众传递信息是保险的做法。而你应该干什么,请回答这个问题: 你希望听众在听到你说的信息后干什么?所以应该通过讲座让听众直接采取行动。例如在关于Kiva的讲座中,我会对观众说:“借钱给穷人是帮助他们非常有效的途径。”
这个可能是个有意思的信息,但我没有达到任何目的,我应该说:“借25美金给一个穷人,他们可以开始做个小生意”
2.别太和善
在我对学习方法进行研究的过程中我遇到了Frank Coffield,一会挑战教育中被神化了的学习方法的学者。他告诉我他受到KArl Popoer的激发,Karl在自传里这样写到“每次当我被要求发言时,有些言论我早知道会恼怒某些听众,但我还要表达这个观点。因为我相信做这个发言就是为了去挑战,这也是讲座优于书本的唯一之处了。“
一个朋友昨天告诉我“如果你一年都没错过航班,那么你到机场太早了!”现在我打算改变我的习惯,不再那么早到机场。和他的观点类似“如果你的讲座一个人都没恼怒,那么你太和善了”
3.想象下友好的观众
想象一下当你知道听众是最友好也最支持你的人的时候你还有什么不敢说。听众其实已经站在你这边了,所以你就大胆说吧。 4.用一句话简明扼要的表述你的观点如果你关注我的blog有些时日了,你就知道我把这点成为关键信息。你需要反复思考什么是你真正想表达的,只有这样你才能把要点表述进关键信息里。如果想通过几句话来表达观点,你就犯了大错。保持你的句子简明扼要。
5. 别用模糊不清的词
你是否总是用模棱两可的短语?就像“只是”“某种”“有些”。这些词让你的思想失去力度和勇气。也许你没有意识到,所以录下你的演讲以便回顾,并向朋友寻求意见反馈。
不再后退——变得勇敢! 你要通过你的信息来传达你的思想,让你的职业发展更上一层楼。Olivia Mitchell
I’m working on being bold – whether it’s in a one on one conversation or in a presentation. In the past, I’ve often watered down what I say to avoid upsetting anyone. And I’m not alone. Many of the people that I coach are concerned about being bold. As a result, they dilute their message so much that they have zero impact on their audience.
Cultivate an attitude of boldnessBeing bold is not something that you can “pull out of a hat” when you’re giving a presentation or speech. You need to develop an attitude of speaking out in your day to day life. Otherwise you won’t develop the courage to be bold in your presentations. Practice saying what’s on your mind when you’re with just one other person or a small group.
I’ve found blogging to be extremely useful in helping me be bold. Some posts I’ve written have taken me some time to publish because of my fear, but having done so I’m bolder. Here are some thoughts to help you develop an attitude of boldness in everyday life.
1. Stop being niceWhat stops me being bold is that I want to be liked, I want to be nice. I don’t want to have to deal with anyone being upset or offended by what I’ve said. It’s worked for me in many ways, but it holds me back too. I keep this quote on a post-it above my desk:
2. Saying what you think enhances your careerDo you hold back saying what you think because you want to make sure that everything you say makes perfect sense and is supported by evidence? Me too. But research shows that people who speak up more are seen as leaders. Now that makes sense, but here’s the topsy-turvy kicker – what they said didn’t have to be particularly brilliant or clever or original. So don’t worry about being perfect, just speak up.
3. Not saying what you think annoys peopleI’ve sometimes held back on saying what I think fearing that it will upset people. Then the situation deteriorates and I end of saying what I think, only to be told “Why you didn’t tell me that earlier?”
4. Your ideas can help other peopleDo you think your ideas are not worth sharing, that they’re obvious. Then watch this gorgeous, short video (H/T Rich Hopkins):
5. What’s the worst that can happenSometimes when I want to say something bold, I stay silent because I just imagine a nameless disaster. But if I think it through and ask myself “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” then I realise that the worst that will happen is that the person I’m speaking to might be upset for a day. Can I handle that? Yes, I can! And then often they don’t even get upset for five minutes. They just thank me for being straight! Often the consequences that we fear from being bold don’t materialise.
How to be bold in your presentationsHere are some tips for developing boldness in your presentations:
1. Ask your audience to take actionJust giving your audience information is the safe option. But what does it accomplish? Instead, answer this question:
“What do you want your audience to do with the information you’re giving them.”
Then use your presentation to persuade people to take that action.
For example, in my presentation on Kiva (see my Guide”How to make an Effective PowerPoint Presentation”) I could say to the audience:
“Lending money to poor people is an effective way of helping them.”
It would be interesting information, but I haven’t accomplished anything. Instead I say:
“Lend $25 to a poor person so they can start a business.”
2. Be provocativeIn my research on learning styles I came across Frank Coffield, an academic challenging the prevailing mythology of learning styles in education. He said he was inspired by Karl Popper, who wrote in his autobiography:
‘My custom, whenever I am invited to speak in some place, of trying to develop some consequences of my views which I expect to be unacceptable to the particular audience. For I believe that there is only one excuse for a lecture: to challenge. It is the only way in which speech can be better than print’. (Unended Quest Open Court Publishing Company, 1976, p 124)
A friend said to me yesterday “If you don’t miss at least one plane a year, you’re arriving at the airport too early!” Now, I’m not going to change my habit of arriving at the airport in plenty of time, but I can see his point. Similarly, “If you’re not provoking at least one person in your audience, you’re being too nice.”
3. Imagine the friendliest audienceImagine what you would dare to say if you knew that the audience were the friendliest most supportive bunch of people. That they’re already on your side. Now say that.
4. Express the main point of your presentation in one succinct sentenceIf you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that I call this your Key Message. The work of crafting your point into a Key Message has you think through what you really want to say. If you allow yourself several sentences to express your point, you’re likely to have woven all sorts of qualifications and caveats. So don’t. Say it in one clear and succinct sentence.
5. Get rid of weasel wordsDo you pepper your phrases with weasel words and phrases? Like “I’d just like to” or “sort of” or “kind of”. They reduce the power and boldness of your ideas. You may not know you’re doing this. So either record yourself and listen back, or ask a friend to give you feedback.
Stop holding back – be bold. You’ll get your message across, spread your ideas and enhance your career.
Related posts:
6 Secrets to get People to Take Action after your Presentation