爱华网一、A Working Community isn‘t just something to measure in the marketplace. But in these new,
5、None of us, mind you, was born into these communities. Nor did we move communities, it becomes harder to tell who we are without saying what we do.into them, U-Hauling our possessions along with us. None has papers to 如果办公室真的彻底变成我们的社区，如果我们的所从事的行业真的彻底变prove we are card-carrying members of one such group or another. Yet it 成我们的种族印记，那我们怎样才能把自己和工作区分开来呢？自我价值并seems that more and more of us are identified by work these days, rather than 不是只有在市场环境中得到体现的。但是在这些新的社区中，如果不先说明by street.值得一提的是，我们没有谁一出生就属于这些社区，也不是后来我我们是从事哪行哪业的，就越来越难以说清楚我们究竟是谁。
们搬了进来。这些身份是我们随身携带的，没有人可以拿出文件证明我们是二、The Roots Of My Ambition
这个或那个群体的会员卡持有者。然而，不知不觉中人们的身份更倾向于各1、―If there‘s one thing I can‘t stand, Russell, it‘s a quitter.‖罗素，假如有一件自所从事的工作，而不是像以往一样由家庭住址来界定。 事我不能容忍的话，那就是做轻易放弃的人。
6、In the past, most Americans live in neighborhoods. We were members of 2、My mother,dead now to this world but still roaring free in my mind, wakes precincts or parishes or school districts. My dictionary still defines me some mornings before day-break. ―If there‘s one thing I can‘t stand, communtiy, first of all in geographic terms, as ―a body of people who live in Russell, it‘s a quitter.‖虽然她已离天人世，我母亲却依旧在我的脑子里大声嚷one place.‖过去大多数彼邻而居的美国人彼此是同一个街区、教区、校区的成嚷，有时天还未破晓她就催我起床，罗素，假如有一件事情我不能容忍的话，员。今天的词典依然首先从地理的角度来定义社区，称之为“一个由居住在那就是轻易放弃的人。
同一地方的人组成的群体”。 3、I have heard her say that all my life. Now, Lying in bed, coming awake in
7、But today fewer of us do our living in that one place; more of us just use it the dark, I feel the fury of her energy fighting the good-for-nothing idler for sleeping. Now we call our towns ―bedroom suburbs,‖ and many of us, within me who wants to go back to sleep instead of tackling the brave new without small children as icebreakers, would have trouble naming all the day.我一辈子都在听她讲这句话。而今躺在床上，在黑暗中睁开睡眼，我就能people on our street.然而，如今的情况是居住和工作都在同一个地方的人极感觉到她和那个一无是处，游手好闲的人对歭的那股凶劲儿，那个人就在我少，对更多的人来说家成了一个仅仅用来睡觉的地方。我们的居住地被叫做心中，他宁可缩回被窝继续睡觉，她不愿意抓住新的美好的一天。
“近郊居住区”，由于没有了孩子像过去那样起到沟通邻里关系的作用，许多4、Silenty, I protest: I am not a child anymore. I have made something of 人感到要叫出跟我们同住一条街的所有人的名字是件极不容易的事。 myself. I am entitled to sleep late.我在心里默默地抗议：我不再是个孩子，我
8、It‘s not that we are more isolated today. It‘s that many of us have 已经做出了自己的成绩，有权晚点起床。
transferred a chunk of our friendships, a major portion of our everyday social 5、―Russell, you‘ve got no more gumption than a bump on a log.‖罗素，你完lives, from home to office. As more of our neighbors work away from home, 全没有进取心了，只想当个无所事事的懒汉。
the workplace becomes our neighborhood.这不是说我们今天被分得更开了，6、She has hounded me with these battle cries since I was a boy in short pants.而是好多人已经部分的友谊和大部分的日常社交生活从家里转移到了办文自从我还是穿着短裤整天乱跑的小男孩起她就用这种战场上的喊叫来鞭策室。随着越来越多的人走出家门去工作，工作的地方就变成了我们的街区。 我。
9、The kaffeeklatsch of the fifties is the coffee break of the eighties.The water 7、―Make something of yourself!‖ 你一定得弄出个名堂来！
cooler, the hall, the elevator, and the parking lot are the back fences of these 8、―Don‘t be a quitter!‖ 绝不要轻易放弃的人！
neighborhoods. The people we have lunch with day after day are those who 9、―Have a little ambiton, Buddy.‖ 伙伴，得有点儿抱负吧
know the running saga of our mother‘s operations, our child‘s math grades, 10、The civilized man of the world within me scoffs at materialism and strives our frozen pipes, and faulty transmissions.50年代的下午茶成了80年代的喝after success. He has read the philosophers and social critics. He thinks it is 咖啡的工间休息。工作地的饮水冷却机、大厅、电梯、停车场是新社区的后vulgar and unworthy to spend one‘s life pursuing money, power, fame, 院篱笆墙。天天和我们共进午餐的人是给我们的母亲动手术的医生、孩子的and…… 在我心目中这个世界上真的文明人嘲笑物质主义者和追名逐利的数学老师、管道工、汽车修理工等。 人。这种人饱读哲学大师和社会批评家的著作，他认为花费整个生命去追求
10、We may be strangers at the supermarket that replaced the corner grocer, 金钱、权力、名誉是粗俗而不值的„„
but we are known at the coffee shop in the lobby. We share with each other a 11、―Sometimes you act like you‘re not worth the powder and shot it would cast of characters from the boss in the corner office to the crazy lady in take to blow you up with.‖母亲还对我说：“有时你的行业显得自己还不如能Shipping, to the lovers in Marketing. It‘s not surprising that when researchers 置你于死地的那点火药或一粒子弹值钱。
ask Americans what they like best about work,they say it is ―the shmoose 12、Life had been hard for my mother ever since her father died, leaving factor.‖ When they ask young mothers at home what they miss most about nothing but debts, The family house was lost, the children scattered. My work, it is the people.人们曾经在杂货店的超市里可能是陌生人，但是却极可mother‘s mother, fatally ill with tubercular infection, fell into a suicide 能在公司大厅的咖啡间里相识。我们谈论一些人物，从街头办文室的老板，depression and was institutionalized. My mother, who had just started college, 到运输部中的疯女人，到营销部的情人们。难怪当研究者问及美国人关于工had to quit and look for work.。自从外公死后母亲一直过着艰辛的生活，除了作他们最喜欢什么的时候，他们的回答是“和同事悠闲自在地闲扯”，当询问一大堆债务外公啥也没有留下。家里的房子成了别人的。孩子们四散各处。在家里做全职母亲的年轻妇女对工作最怀念什么时，她们说是工作中所接触我那染上夺命结核病的外婆患了自杀抑郁症被送入医院。刚上大学的母亲不过的人。 得不辍学去找工作。
11、Not all the neighborhoods are empty, nor is every workplace a friendly 13、Then ,after five years of marriage and three babies, her husband died in playground. Most of us have had mixed experiences in these environments. 1930, leaving my mother so poor that she had to give up her baby Audrey for Yet as one woman told me recently, she knows more about the people she adoption. Maybe the bravest thing she did was to give up Audrey, only ten passes on the way to her desk than on her way around the block. Our new months old, to my Uncle Tom and Aunt Goldie. Uncle Tom, one of my sense of community hasn‘t just moved from house to office building. The father‘s brothers, had a good job with the railroad and could give Audrey a labels that we wear connect us with members from distant companies, cities, comfortable life.后来母亲在结婚后5年内生下连我在内3个孩子。但是，1930and states. We assume that we have something ―in common‖ with other 年我爸爸离开了人世，母亲一贫如洗，不得不将最小的孩子奥德丽送给别人teachers, nurses, city planners.不是所有的住宅区都是空的，也不是所有的工收养。也许母亲做过的最勇敢的事就是让我叔叔汤姆和婶婶葛黛收养了10个作单位都是友好的。多数人在这些环境里都曾有过复杂的经历。然而，最近月大的奥德丽。叔叔汤姆是爸爸的亲兄弟，他在铁路上有一份好工作，能够一位女性朋友告诉我她对工作单位里的人的了解程度要胜于对同一街区人的给奥德丽舒适的生活。
了解程度。我们不仅把社区的概念从住宅区搬进了办公楼，上班时身上所佩14、My mother headed off to New Jersey with my other sister and me to take 戴的标志也把我们和异国他乡的人们和公司员工联系在一起。我们假设自己shelter with with her brother Alen, poor relatives dependent on his goodness. 和其他的教师、护士、城市规划者有着某些共同点。 She eventually found work pathching grocers‘smocks at ten dollars a week in
12、It‘s not unlike the experience of our immigrant grandparents. Many who a laundry.
came to this country still identified themselves as members of the Italian 母亲带着我和另一个妹妹直奔新泽西州暂时寄居在她哥哥阿伦家里，成了投community, the Irish communtiy, the Polish community. They sought out and 奔我那好舅舅的穷亲戚。母亲后来总算在一家洗衣店找到了一份周薪10美元，assumes connection with people from the old country, Many of us have 修补杂货商穿用的工作服的工作。
updated that experience. We have replaced ethnic identity with professional 15、Mother would have liked it better if I could have grown up to be President identity, the way we replaced neighborhood with the workplace. This whole or a rich businessman, but much as she loved me, she did not deceive herself. realignment of community is surely most obvious among the mobile Before I was out of grade school, she could see I lacked the gifts for either professions. People who move from city to city seem to put roots into their making millions or winning the love of crowds. After that she began nudging professions. In an age of specialists, they may have to search harder to find me toward working with words.假如我现在是总统或者是富有的商人，妈妈应people who speak the same language.这有点像最初移民来到美国的我们的祖该会更满意的。虽然母亲很爱我，但她并没有欺骗自己。在我高中毕业之时，辈们的经历，许多人来到这里后把自己原来的国籍当成一个社区，所以有意她就意识到了我缺少那种日进斗金或博取群众爱戴的能力。从那以后她就开大利人社区、爱尔兰人社区、波兰社区等。他们不断寻找并设想自己与来自始把我往写作的道路上推。
同一个国家的人们有着亲密的联系。我们把这种体验提升了一步。像用工作16、Words ran in her family. There seemed to be a word gene that passed 单位取代居住地一样，我们用专业身份取代了种族身份。这种社区的完全重down from her maternal grandfather. He was a school teacher, his daughter 组在流动作业的行业中表现得最为明显，那些在不同城市变换工作的人似乎Lulie wrote poetry, and his son Charlie became New York correspondent for 把自己的身份植根于他们的行业中。在这个充满专业人士的时代，他们不得the Bltimore Herald. In the turn-of-the –century South, still impoverished by 不费尽周折去寻找有共同语言的人。 the Civil War, words were a way out.母亲的家族有从事写作的传统。从她的外
13、I don‘t think that there is anyting massively disruptive about this shifting 公开始似乎就有一种语言基因代代相传。她的外公是一位教师，他的女儿露shense of community. The continuing search for connection and shared 利是诗人，儿子查理后来成了《巴尔的摩先驱报》的通讯员。在世纪之交，enterprise is very human. But I do feel uncomfortable with our shifting 南方还没有从因为内战而大伤气的状态下恢复过来，写作在当时是一条谋生identity. The balance has tipped, and we seem increasingly dependent on 之路。
work for our sense of self.我并不认为这种社区概念的变迁会造成大面积的混17、The most spectacular proof was my mother‘s first cousin Edwin. He was a 乱，这种对联系和共同理想的不断追寻充满了人性。但我对我们不断变化的managing editor of the New York Times.He had traveled all over Europe, 身份确实感到不安。身份意识的天平似乎已经日渐倾斜到工作决定身份这边。 proving that words could take you to places so glorious and so far from the
14、If our office are our new neighborhoods, if our professional titles are our Virginia sticks that you own kon could only gape in wonder and envy. My new ethnic tags, then how do we separate ourselves from our jobs? Selfworth mother often used Edwin as an example of how far a man could go without
much talent.最充分的证据要数我母亲的一位表兄艾德文。他是《纽约时代周普利策奖，但母亲却不得而知。她在前一年患了脑瘫住进疗养院，她从此与刊》的执行主编。他曾经遍游欧洲，这证明文字可以将你带到那些远离弗吉生活没有了接触。
尼亚边远山区无比美好的地方，令你的亲戚惊讶而又嫉妒。母亲常以艾德文30、I can only guess how she‘d have responded to news of Pulitzer. I‘m pretty 为例，告诉我一个不是很有才气的男人能走多远。 sure she would have said, ―That‘s nice, Buddy. It shows if you buckle down
18、―Edwin James was no smarter than anybody else, and look where he is and work hard, you‘ll be able to make something of yourself one of these today,‖my mother said, and said again, so than I finally grew up thinking days.‖我只能去想象她得知我获得普利策奖的消息时的反应。她肯定又会说：Edwin James was adill clod who had a lucky break. Maybe she felt didn‘t 好样的，伙计，这证明了只要你下定决心，埋头苦干，某一天你一定能有所have to be brilliant to get where Edwin had got to, that the way to get to the 成就。
top was to work, work, and work.艾德文并不比任何一个孩子聪明，看看他今31、In time there would be an attack on the values my mother preached and I 天已经在哪了？母亲总是这样遍又一遍地对我说，以至于我长大以后认为艾have lived by. When the country began to pull apart in the 1960s and 70s, 德文·詹姆士不过是碰上了好运气的平庸之辈。也许母亲也是那样看待他的，people who admitted to wanting to amount something were put down as 但她的话中应该有更深的含意。她是在告诉我不需要很聪明就能达到艾德文materialists idiotically wasting their lives in the ―rat race.‖ The word 的高度，通往顶峰的路是努力、努力、再努力。 ―gumption‖vanished from the language.母亲一直宣扬而且我一直遵循的价值
19、When my mother saw that I might have the word gift, she started trying to 观终于开始遭到攻击。二十世纪六七十年代，这个国家的价值观念开始分化。make it grow. Thought desperately poor, she signed up for a deal that supplied 那些承认自己想要获得成功的人被鄙视为在“激烈竞争”的凡尘中愚蠢地浪one volume of Worlds Greatest Literature every month at 39 cents a book.当费生命的物质主义者。“进取精神”这个词开始从我们的语言中消失。
母亲看到我或多或少有些语言天赋的时候，她就开始努力要让这种天赋成长32、I tried at first to roll with the new age. I decided not to drive my children, 发挥出来，虽然家里穷得叮当响，她还是狠下心来给我订购了售价为39美分as my mother had driven me, with those corrupt old demands that they 的月刊《世界最伟大的文学》 amount to something.我也努力按新时代的标准行事，决心不再像母亲逼迫我
20、I respected those great writers,but what I read with joy were newpapers. I 那样逼迫自己的孩子们，不再用那些陈腐的苛求非要他们大有作为。
lapped up every word about monstrous crimes, dreadful accidents and hideous 33、The new age exalted love, self-gratification and passive Asian philosopies butcheries committed in faraway wars. Accounts of murderes dying in the that aimed at helping people resign themselves to the status quo. Much of this electric chair fascinated me, and I kept close track of fast meals ordered by seemed preposterous to me, but I conceded that my mother might have turned condemned men.我很仰慕那些伟大的作家，但读起来使我最快乐的是报纸。me into a coarse materialist (one defect in her code was its emphasis on 我如饥似渴地读着报纸上关于犯罪、恐怖事件和发生在遥远他乡的骇人听闻money and position ),so I kept my heretical suspicions to myself.新时代崇尚的杀戮。关于那些死在电梯上的杀手的报道令我入迷，我甚至对死刑犯订的关系和自我满足，崇尚消极的东方哲学要人安于现状的思想。这些思想对我最后一顿快餐都特别留心。 来说显得荒谬，但是我也得承认也许母亲已经将我变成一个粗俗的物质主义
21、In 1947 I graduated from John Hopkins and learned that the Baltimore 者（她的信条中的一个缺陷就是对金钱和地位的强调），我在新时代一直对自Sun needed a police reporter. Two or there classmates at Hopkins also applied 己怀着异教徒般的怀疑。
for the job. Why I was picked was a mystery. It paid $30 a week. When I 34、And then, realizing I had failed to fire my own children with ambition, I complained that was insulting for a college man, my mother refused to broke. One evening at dinner, I heard myself shouting, ―Don‘t you want to sympathize.1947年，我从约翰·霍普金斯大学毕业时到了解到《巴尔的摩太amount to something?‖当意识到自己未能使孩子们充满抱负的时候，我心碎阳报》需要招募一名治安记者。另外有两三个霍普金斯的同班同学也在争取了。一天晚上在用餐的时候，我听到自己大声吼道 ：“你们难道就不想有任这个职位，为什么最后我被录用了是谜。这份工作的薪水是30美金一星期。何作为吗？
当我在母亲面前抱怨这样的待遇对一个大学毕业生来说是一种耻辱的时候，35、The children looked blank. Amount to something. What a strange 她拒绝给我同情。 expression. I could see their thought: That isn‘t Dad yelling. That was those
22、―If you work hard at this job,‖she said, ―maybe you can make something martins he had before dinner.孩子们满脸疑惑：有所作为？这对他们来说是多of it. Then they‘ll have to give you a raise.‖假如你在这个职位上好好干，她么奇怪的字眼啊。我能够清楚地分辨他们想法：这不是爸爸的吼叫，是他饭说，也许你是会有所作为的，到那时他们就不得不给你涨工资了 前喝下的马提尼酒在作怪。
23、Seven years later I was assigned by the Sun to cover the White House. For 36、It wasn‘t the gin that was shouting. It was my mother. The gin only gave most reporters, being White House correspondent was as close to heaven as me the courage to announce to them that yes, by God, I had always believed you could get. I was 29 years old and puffed up with pride. I went to see my in success, had always believed that without hard work and self-discipline mother‘s delight while telling her about it. I should have known better.7年之you could never amount to anything, and didn‘t deserve to.其实不是杜松子酒后，我被《巴尔的摩太阳报》任命为驻白宫记者。对于大多数记者而言，成在吼，是我的母亲在吼。酒只是借给了我勇气向他们宣布那个想法。是的，为驻白宫记者被看成是离上天只有一步之遥。那时我29岁，踌躇满志。我回上帝可以作证，我一直相信成功，一直相信如果没有辛勤的劳动和严格的自有对母亲讲自己晋升的事想看到她高兴。但结果却出乎我的预料。 律，一个人不可能有任何成就，也不配有成就。
24、―Well, Russ,‖she said, ―if you work hard at this White House job, you 37、It would turn out that the children‘s bleak report cards did not forebode might be able to make something of yourself.‖嗯，罗素啊，母亲说，假如你把failure, but a refusal to march to the drumbeat of the ordinary, which should 白宫记者当好了，你会有所作为的。 have made me proud. Now they are grown people with children of their own,
25、Onward and upward was the course she set. Small progress was no excuse and we like one another and have good times when we are together.事实最后for feeling satisfied with yourself. People who stopped to pat themselves on 证明，那些曾使我感到黯淡无望的成绩单并没有预示我的孩子们一败涂地，the back didn‘t last long. Even if you got to the top, you ‗d better not take it 而预示了他们拒绝平庸，这令我应该感到欣慰。而今他们都已长大成人，也easy. ―The bigger they come, the harder they fall‖ was one of her favorite 有了自己的孩子。我们彼此都怀着好感，家庭团聚时过得非常愉快。
maxims.进取、进取、再进取，这是母亲给我设定的方向。小小的进步是不足38、So it is with a family. We carry the dead generations within us and pass 以自我满足的。那些因成功而沾沾自喜停下来欣赏自己的人是不会持久的。them on to the future abroad our children. This keeps the people of the past 即使你已经到达顶峰，你也最好不要放松。爬得越高，摔得越痛，是母亲的alive long after we have taken them to the churchyard.家庭就是如此，我们在至理名言。 自己身上承传去世的老一辈，并将他们传给自己将来四散在各地的后代，让
26、During my early years in the newspaper business, I began to entertain 已经去世安息在教堂墓地的人们很久以后仍然活在我们心中。
childish fantasies of revenge against Cousin Edwin. Wouldn‘t it be delightful 39、―If there‘s one thing I can‘t stand, Russell, its‘s quitter.‖罗素，假如有一件it Ibecame such an outstanding reporter that the Times hired me without 事我不能容忍的话，那就是做轻易放弃的人。
knowing I was related to the great Edwin? Wouldn‘t it be delicious if Edwin 40、Lord, I can hear her still.我的天啊！我听见我的母亲还在说。 himself invited me into his huge office and said, ―Tell me something about 三、Help Yourself through the Hard Times
yourself, youngman?‖ What exquisist vengeance to reply, ―I am the only son 1、Some years ago I had what most would call the American Dream: a of your poor cousin Lucy Elizabeth Robinson.‖在我从事报业的头几年，我就thriving construction business, a comfortable home, two new cars and a 不怀着幼稚的要报复地表兄艾德文的怪念头。假如我能成为非常杰出的记者，sailboat. Moreover, I was happpily married. I had it all.几年前，我拥有大多数让《纽约时代周刊》在不知道我和艾德文关系的情况下雇用我，这难道不是人称之为美国梦想的东西：一份蒸蒸日上的建筑生意，一个舒适的家，两辆件快乐无比的事情吗？如果艾德文将我请到他那宽敞的办公室，对我说：年新车和一艘帆船，此外，我婚姻幸福。我拥有这一切。
轻人，能请你介绍一下自己吗？我是你的穷表妹露西·伊丽莎白·罗宾逊唯2、Then the stock market crashed, and suddenly no one was looking at the 一的儿子。这回答是多么绝妙的复仇啊。 houses I‘d built.Months of murderous interest payment gobbled up my
27、What would one day happen was right out of my wildest childhood savings. I couldn‘t make ends meet and lay awake nights in a cold sweat. Just fantasy. The TIMES did come knocking at my door, though Cousin Edwin when I though things couldn‘t get worse, my wife announced that she wanted had departed by the time I arrived. Eventually I would be offered one of the a divorce.接着，股市垮了，突然间再没人看我修的那些房子。连续几个月支gaudiest prizes in American journalism: a column in the New York Times.后付要命的利息，耗尽了我的积蓄。我入不敷出，经常彻夜无眠，一身冷汗。来我的这种不着边际的少年狂想果真变成了现实。《纽约时代周刊》真的派人就在我认为事情不可能变得更糟的时候，我太太宣布她想离婚。
敲开了我的家门，尽管在我到达时，艾德文表兄已经有事离开了，美国新闻3、With no idea what to do next, I resolved literally to ―sail off into the 界还是给予了我一个炫丽的奖励—做《纽约时代周刊》的专栏作家。 sunset,‖ following the coastline from Connecticut to Florida. But somewhere
28、It was not a column meant to convey news, but a writer‘s column off New Jersey I turned due east, straight out to sea. Hours later, I climbed up commenting on the news by using different literary forms: essay devices, on the stern rail and watched the dark Atlantic slip beneath the hull. How easy satire, burlesque, sometimes even fiction. It was proof that my mother had it would be to let the water take me, I thought.无所适从的我决心真正驾船“向been absolutely right when she sized me up early in life and steered me 夕阳行驶”，沿着海岸线从康涅狄格州驶向佛罗里达州。但是在离新泽西巷的toward literature.那不是新闻报导专栏，而是一个用不同文学体裁评论新闻的地方，我转向正东方，直接驶往大海。几小时后，我爬上船尾的栏杆，注视专栏，如散文、讽刺、夸张的模仿、有时甚至是小说。这一切证明母亲早就着从船体下面滑过的黑沉沉的大西洋海水。我想让海水淹死是多么容易的一看出是这块料并引导我走文学之路是完全正确的。 件事。
29、The column won its share of medals. Including a Pulitezer Prize in 1979. 4、Suddenly the boat plummeted between two swells, knocking me off My mother never knew about that. The circuitry of her brain had collapsed the balance. I grabbed the rail, my feet dragging in icy brine, and just managed to year before, and she was in a nursing home, out of touch with life haul myself back on board. Shaken, I thought, what‘s happening to me? Idon‘t forevermore.我负责的专栏后来赢得了它该得到的所有奖项，包括1979年的want to die.From that moment, I knew I had to see things through. My old life
was gone. Somehow I‘d have to build a new one.突然，帆船笔直地落在两个business, and before long Jankowski was in serious financial trouble.为老板巨浪之间，使我失去了平衡。我手抓住 栏杆，脚浸在冰冷的海水里，勉强把工作一辈子后，纽约史丹顿岛的约翰•简可夫斯基一直梦想有自己的选择和证自己拉回船上。震惊之余，我想，我这是怎么了？我不想死。从那一刻起，券交易公司。他最终找到了启动金并经营顺利。接着生意急转直下，不久简我知道我必须看穿万物。我从前的生活一去不复返了，必须得想办法自己重可夫斯基就陷入严重的经济危机。
建新的生活。 16、―It was like I‘d run into a brick wall and my whole life had been
5、Everyone, at some point, will suffer a loss-the loss of loved ones. Good shattered,‖ he says. With financial resources exhausted and the pressure of a health, a job. ―It‘s your desert experience‘-a time of feeling barren of options, family to support, Jankowski‘s thoughts turned to escape.“就好像我迎头撞上even hope,‖ explains Patrick Ddl Zoppo, a psychologist and bereavement 一面砖墙，整个人生都被击得粉碎，”他说。经济来源耗尽，又有一个家庭需specialist with the Archdiocese of New York. ―The important thing is not to 要供养，简可夫斯基开始想逃避。
allow yourself to be stranded in the desert.‖每个人，在某个时刻，都将遭受损17、One morning, while in a run,he just kept going. After jogging westward 失—失去挚爱的人、健康或是工作。“这是你经历中的荒漠---一段感到毫无出for two hours, he staggered back home. ―It finally dawned on me that I 路，甚至毫无希望的时期”，帕垂克·戴尔·左珀解释说。他是一名心理学家，couldn‘t run away from my troubles. The only thing that made sense was to 纽约大主教管区的丧亲之痛专家，“重要的是不要让你自己陷入荒漠之中无法face up to my situation,‖ he says. ―Admitting failure was the toughest part but 自拔”。 I had to before I could get on with my life.‖一天早上，在跑步的时候，他一直
6、Let Yourself Grieve. Counelors agree that a period of grieving is critical. 往前跑。在向西慢跑了两个小时之后，他步履蹒跚地回到家。“我终于明白不―There‘s no shame in this,‖ says Del Zoppo. ―Tears aren‘t a sign that you‘re 能逃离我的困境。唯一明智的事就是勇敢面对我的现状，”他说，“承认失败simply feeling sorry for yourself but are expression of sadness or emotion that 是困难的，但要想继续生活我必须得这么做。”
must find an outlet.‖让自己悲痛。顾问们一致认为，一段时间的悲痛是至关重18、Get Out and Do! After a few weeks, I urge people recovering from loss to 要的。“不必为此感到羞愧”，戴尔·左珀说，“眼泪并不意味着你仅仅自我垂get back into a routine,‖says psychiatrist and Boston University professor 怜，而是表达必须发泄的忧伤或情感”。 Bessel A.van der Kolk. ―It‘s important to force yourself to concentrate on
7、And it doesn‘t matter if the grieving takes a while to surface, as long as it things other than your hurt.‖ Cinsider these activities:走出门，做点事。“几周finally finds expression. Consider the case of Donna Kelb of Syracuse, N.Y. 之后，我要求那些从打击中复原的人回到日常生活中去，”精神病医师，波士One spring day her 16-year-old son, Cliff, Jr. and 15-year-old son, Jimmy, 顿大学教授贝瑟•A•凡•库克说，“强迫自己把注意力集中到别的事情，而不是were sanding their boat, preparing it for the season. Suddenly Donna heard a 所受的伤害上，这一点至关重要。”考虑以下活动：
scream. Rushing outside, she found her two sons lying on the ground near the 19、Join a support group. Once you‘ve made the decision to ―get on with life,‖ boat.如果悲痛需要一段时间才能表现出来，也没有什么关系，只要它能最终you‘ll need someone to talk to –and the most effective kind of conversation 找到表现的方式。看看纽约锡拉库扎港的唐娜·克博的例子。在一个春光明can be with someone else who has undergone an ordeal.加入一个援助团体。一媚的日子里，她16岁的儿子小克立夫和他15岁的弟弟吉米正在给他们的船旦你决心“继续生活”，你会需要向人倾诉，最有效的是和其他有过痛苦经历装沙，为渔季做准备。突然，唐娜听到一声尖叫。她冲到外面，发现两个儿的人交谈。
子倒在船旁边的地面上。 20、Read. When you can focus after the initial shock, reading, especially
8、Jimmy had gone into the water and returned dripping wet. When he picked selfhelp books, can offer inspiration as well as relaxation.阅读。经历过最初的up the sander, he was electrocuted. Cliff, knocked to the ground by the current 震惊之后，如果注意力可以集中，那就开始读书，尤其是有关自助的书，这when he tried to grab the tool, recovered.吉米下到水中，上来的时候浑身湿透将让你放松，同时也让你感到鼓舞。
了。当他拿起磨沙器时，触电致死。克立夫在试图拿过磨沙器时被电流击倒21、Keep a journal. Many find comfort in creating an ongoing record of their 在地，后来康复了。 experiences. At best it can serve as a kind of self-therapy.记日记。很多人发现
9、Donna was so numbed by this tragedy that she didn‘t cry for weeks-not 纪录每天的经历让人感到安慰。日记甚至能起到自我治疗的作用。
even at the funeral, Then back at work one day, she began to feel dizzy. 22、Plan events. The idea that there are things to look forward to reinforces ―Finally I went home, locked myself in my room and just wailed.‖ she says, that you are forging ahead into a fresh future. Schedule that trip you‘ve been ―it was as though this great weight was being lifted from my shoulders.‖这个postponing.做事有计划。有期待的事情，这一想法能增强你迈向全新未来的悲剧的打击让唐娜变得麻木，以致好几周都没哭出来—甚至在葬礼上也没有信息。将你过去推迟了的旅行重新写进时间表。
哭。后来有一天下班归来，她开始感到晕眩。“最终我回到家，将自己锁在房23、Learn new skills. Take a course at a community college, or take up a new 间里，开始嚎啕大哭”，她说，仿佛这块巨石从肩膀上卸下来。 hobby or sport. You have a new life ahead; any new skill will complement it.
10、What Kelb, experienced after her tragic loss was what Del Zoppo calls a 学习新的技术。在社区大学选修一门课，或是开始新的爱好或者运动。有全―first-line defense that shields the consciousness from some extremely 新的生活等着你，而任何新的技术都将使它更充实。
unpleasant reality.‖ Kelb couldn‘t begin her healing process until nature had 24、Reward yourself. During highly stressful times, even the simplest daily allowed her time to sort out her tragedy.克博在悲剧之后的经历就是戴尔·左daily chores-getting up, showering, fixing something to eat- can seem 珀所说的一种“使意识远离极端不愉快的现实的首要防范心理”。除非本能给daunting. Consider every accomplishment, no matter how small, a victory to 予她解决好悲剧的时间，否则克博不可能开始她的康复之路。 be rewarded.奖励自己。在强压力之下，即使是最简单的日常琐事，如起床、
11、Understand Your Anger. ―Anger is natural.‖says Del Zoppo, ―but it can be 洗澡，弄东西吃，都能使人气馁。每完成一件事，不管多么微小，都把它看released in a wholesome way.‖ Properly understand, it can serve your 作是一个值得稿劳自己的成就。
recovery.理解你的怒火。愤怒是天性，戴尔·左珀说，但可以通过健康的方25、Exercise. Physical activity can be especially therapeutic. Therese Gump of 式释放出来。你若得到恰当的理解，它将有助于你的恢复。 Chicago felt confused and adrift after her21-years-old son committed suicide.
12、Candace Bracken‘s future seemed full of promise. The 25-year-old airline A friend talked her into taking a jazzercize class. ―It was just mindless hemorrhaging uncontrollably. Acute leukemia was diagnosed, and Bracken stretching and bouncing to music.‖ Gump says, ―but it made me feel better was of myself, lived a straignt and narrow life,‖ says Bracken was given two physically, and when you head and your troubles,‖ Aronoff explains, ―and it weeks to live. After the initial shock, she felt angry. ―I had taken care of allows you to experience your body with your two feet on the ground.‖锻炼。myself, lived a straight and narrow life,‖ says Bracken of Miami. ―Things like 体育锻炼尤其具有治疗作用。芝加哥的西瑞丝•坎普在她21岁儿子自杀后感this weren‘t supposed to happen to people like me.‖以前坎迪斯·布赖青肯的到茫然不知所措。一个朋友说服她参加了一个爵士锻炼培训班。“只是随着音未来似乎是一片光明。作为一名25岁的航班调度员，她刚生了一个宝宝，才乐不动脑筋地伸伸手脚和蹦蹦跳跳，”坎普说，“但它却使我感到身体更棒，换了份工作。然而有一天她开始不由自主地出血。诊断出是急性白血病，只当你感觉身体更棒的时候你心理上也会感觉更好。”“锻炼使你忘却自我和身有两个星期可活。震惊之余，她感到愤怒，我一直爱惜自己的身体，生活诚边的麻烦，”阿若诺夫解释说，“并能让你感到踏实。”
实，正派，迈阿密的布赖肯说“这种事情不应该发生在像我这样的人身上。 26、Be Patient with Yourself. People often ask. ―When will this terrible pain
13、She reeled at the thought of her imminent death, and withdrew. ―I just stop?‖ Experts resist being pinned down to time frames. ―Roughly, it‘s a gave up,‖ she says. Then a doctor told her she needed to arrange for someone minimum of six months before you even start to feel better,‖ says Aronoff. to care for her daughter. ―How dare you tell me to find someone else to raise ―And it can be as long as a year, possibly two. A lot depends on disposition, my child!‖ Bracken snapped. At that moment, she realized that she had strong the support within your environment, and if you get help and work on it.‖对自reasons to fight for he life. Her anger, formerly crippling now sparked her. It 己有耐心。人们常说，“什么时候这种可怕的痛苦才会结束？”专家门反对时helped see her through a harrowing, but ultimately successful, bone-marrow 间期限的限制。“大体上，你少则需要6个月才能开始感觉好点，”阿若诺夫transplant.一想到死亡即将来临，她就感到心绪不宁，屈服了。我完全放弃了，说。“也有可能长达一年，或是两年。这很大程度上取决于你的性格、周围亲她说。后来一个医生告诉她说她需要安排人照料她的女狼。“你竟敢让我找别友的支持、以及是否得到帮助并借此战胜痛苦。
人带大我的小孩！”布赖肯历声说。在那一刻，她意识到有充分的理由去为自27、So,be easy on yourself. Recongnize that you‘ll need time, and that your 己的生命而战。她的愤怒开始时极为有害，现在却鼓舞了她，帮助她渡过了own pace of recovery may not fit with that of others. Congratulate yourself at 痛彻心肺但最终成功的骨髓移植。 each step through grief: I‘m still here, I‘ve made it this far!因此，对自己宽容
14、Face the Challeng. Another obstacle on the road to health after a 些。认识到你将需要一定的时间，而且你自己的康复节奏可能和别人不一样。significant loss can be denial. Instead of facing what has happened to them, 在走出悲痛中每前进一步都要祝贺自己：“我还活着，我已经撑到现在了。” says Dr. Michael Aronoff, psychiatrist and a spokesperson for the American 28、Sailing is a slow business. I made it to Florida in five weeks. In Psychiatirc Association, many people ―try to fill up that empty feeling looking attempting to‖run away,‖ I‘d embarked on a trip that gave me a structure, a for an escape.‖ The man who rarely touched a drink will begin hitting the daily outdoor routine requiring physical exertion, and plenty of time. I was bottle. A woman who watched her weight will overeat. Others, like me , try still hurting, but by the time I anchored in Miami, I was ready to try again.At literally to ―rn away.‖勇敢地面对挑战。在经历重大打击之后，拒绝知我同样what, I wasn‘t sure.航行是个慢活，我用了5周才抵达佛罗里达。原本试图“一也是健康之路的重大障碍。迈克尔•阿若诺夫是个精神病医师，美国精神病协走了之”的我踏上一段旅途。这段旅途让我重新组织生活，培养了每天的生会的一名发言人。他说，很多人不是面对所发生的一切。而是“竭力填补空活规律，要求付出在户外的体力以及大量的时间。我的心依然在痛，但是等虚的感情假寻找一种解脱。”几乎滴酒不沾的男人会开始酗酒，担心肥胖的女我到达迈阿密时，我已作好再次尝试的准备。尝试什么，我还没确定。
性会吃得过多。其他一些人，像我一样，力图“一走子之”。 29、―Why not get back to writing-to what you were trained for?‖ said my dad
15、After working for bosses all his life, John Jankowski of Staten Island, over the phone. He was right. And here I am now, writing to you. It feels good N.Y., had always longed to have his own options and stock-trading firm. He to be back.“何不回到写作？回到你以前受过专门培训的写作嘛！”爸爸在电finally got the start-up money and did well. Then came a downturn in 话那头说。他是对的。现在我就在为你而写。能回到的感觉真好。
四、What Is Happiness? illusory than happiness on the installment plan?他幸福吗？或许他的幸福只是
1、The right to pursue happiness is issued to Americans with their birth 另一种虚幻。但谁又能将幸福从他身边夺走呢？又有谁敢说这种幸福比分期cetificates, but no one seems quite which way it ran. It may be we are issued a 付款计划中得到的幸福更缥缈呢？
hunting license but offered no game. Jonathan Swift seemed to being 9、But, perhaps because I am Western, I doubt such catatonic happiness,as I welldeceived.‖ The felicty of being ―a fool among knaves.‖ For Swift say doubt the dreams of the happiness-market. What is certain is that his way of society as Vanity Fair, the land of false goals.自从呱呱坠地，美国人就被赋予happiness would be torture to almost any Western man. Yet these extremes 了追求幸福的权利，但似乎没人确信幸福究竟在哪里。正如它发给我们狩猎will still serve to frame the area within all of us and must find some sort of 证，却不给我们提供猎物。乔纳森•斯威福特似乎持此观点，他抨击幸福的想balance. Thoreau-a creature of both Eastern and Western thought-had his own 法是“鬼迷心窍的上当，”是“骗子堆中的傻瓜”的自鸣得意。因为他视社会firm sense of that balance.His aim was to save on the low levels in order to 为虚妄目标聚集的名利场。 spend on the high.然而，或许因为我是西方人，我对这种令人精神紧张的幸福
2、It is, of course, un-American to think in terms of fools and knaves. We do, 持怀疑态度，正如我怀疑幸福市场的梦幻一样。可以确信，他这种幸福方式however, seem to be dedicated to the idea of buying our way to happiness. We 对几乎任何一个西方人而言都是一种折磨。尽管如此，我们仍然可以利用这shall all have made it to heaven when we possess enough.当然用傻子、骗子这些极限来划定幸福的范畴，在这一范畴内每个人都得找到某种平衡。梭罗，样的字眼来形容是不合美国的人的风俗习惯的，然后我们似乎确实沉溺于用一个东西思想交融的人物，对这种平衡有他自己的坚定信念。他的目标是在金钱购买幸福的想法：只要有足够的钱，我们百年后就能上天堂。 低层次节约，在高层次上付出。
3、And at the same time the forces of American commercialism are hugely 10、Posssession for its own sake or in competiton with the rest of the dedicated to making us deliberately unhappy. Advertising is one of our major neighborhood would have been Thoureau‘s idea of the low levels. The active industries, and advertising is one of our major industries, and advertising discipline of heightening one‘s perception of what is enduring in nature would exists not to satisfy desires but to create them-and to create them faster than have been his idea of the high, What he saved from the low was time and any man‘s budget can satisfy them. For that matter, our whole economy is effort he could spend on the high. Thoreau certainly disapproved of starvation, based on a dedicated insatiability. We are taught that to possess is to be happy, but he would put into feeding himself only as much effort as would keep him and then we are made to want. We are even told it is our duty to want. It was functioning for more important efforts.梭罗所理解的“低层次”，即为自己而only a few years ago, to cite a single example, that car dealers across the 去拥有，或与邻里明争暗斗而致拥有。他心目中的“高层次”，则是这样一种country were flying banners that read ―You Auto Buy Now.‖ There were 积极的人生戒律，即要使自己对自己界永恒之物的感悟臻于完美。对于他从calling upon Americans, as an act approaching patriotism, to buy at once, with 低层次上节省下来的时间和精力，他可将其致力于对高层次的追求。勿庸置money they did not have. Automobiles they did not really need, and which 疑，梭罗不赞成忍饥挨饿，但他在膳食方面投入的精力仅果腹而已，只要可they would be required to grow tired of by the time the next year‘s models 以确保他能去从事更为重要的事务即可。
were released.同时，美国的商业主义却又殚精竟虑故意使我们得不到幸福。11、Effort is the gist of it. There is no happiness except as we take on 广告是我们的支柱产业之一，其存在不是为了满足欲望。而是为了制造欲望life-engaging difficulties. Short of the impossible, as Yeats put it, the ——其制造速度之快，使我们的腰包应接不暇。就此而言，我们的整个经济satisfactions we get from a lifetime depend on how hign we choose our 是基于一种无法自拔的贪求无厌。我们受到的教育是“占有却为幸福”，然后difficulties.Robert Frost was thinking in something like the same terms when 我们就被迫产生贪欲。我们甚至被告知欲望是我们的义务。引用一个简单的he spoke of ―The pleasure of taking pains.‖ The martal flaw in the advertised 例子为证：仅仅几年前，全国的汽车销售商还打着“你应该立即购买汽车”version of happiness is in the fact that it purports to be effortless.殚精竭虑，全的横幅。他们号召美国人民：作为一种爱国主义行为，他们应该立即按揭购力以赴，便是问题的精髓所在。除非我们愿意直面那些需要我们全身心投入买他们并不真正需要的汽车，并且在次年新款汽车发布后他们会对原来这些的艰难困苦，否则便不会有幸福可言。正如叶芝所言，除却某些不可能的情汽车心生厌倦。 形，我们人生中所获取的满足皆取决于我们在多高的境界中选择我们所愿意
4、Or look at any of the women‘s magazines. There, as Bernard De Voto once 面对的艰难困苦。当罗伯特•弗罗斯特言及“以苦为乐”时，他内心所思，大pointed out, advertising begains as poetry in the front pages and ends as 体如此。商业广告中所宣扬的寻种幸福观，其致使的缺陷就在于它宣称，一pharmacopoeia and therapy in the back page. The poetry of the front matter is 切幸福皆唾手可得，不费吹灰之力。
the dream of perfect beauty. This is the baby skin that must be hers. These, the 12、We demand difficulty even in our games. We demand it because without flawless teeth. This, the perfumed breath she must exhale. This, the difficulty there can be no game. A game is a way of making something hard sixteen-year-old figure she must display she must display at forty, at fifty, at for the fun of it. The rules of the game are an arbitrary imposition of dificulty. sixty, and forever.或者任意浏览一本女性杂志。正如伯尔纳德•德•渥托曾经指When the spoilsport ruins the fun, he always does so by refusing to play by 出的那样，这些杂志开头几页的广告诗情画意，而最后则以类似药典和治疗the rules. It is easier to win at chess if you are free,at your pleasure, to change 手册结尾。前者是完美美女的梦想：这该是她婴儿般的股肤，这些是她无瑕the wholly arbitrary rules, but the fun is in winning within the rules. No 的牙齿，这该是她呼出的香气，这该是她能保持到40、50、60岁甚至永远的difficulty, no fun.即使于游戏之中，我们也需要有艰难困苦。之所以需要它，16岁少女般的身材。 是因为若没有困难，便断无游戏可言。游戏即是这样一种方式，为了享受其
5、Once past the vaguely uplifting fiction and feature articles, the reader finds 中的情趣而人为地使事情变得不那么轻而易举。游戏中的种种规则，便是将the other face of the dream in the back matter. This is the harness into which 困难武断地强加于人。有的人将情趣摧毁殆尽，总是因为他拒不按游戏规则Mother must strap herself in order to display that perfect figure. These, the 行事而使然。这犹如下棋，如果你随心所欲、心血来潮全然武断地去更改那chin straps she must sleep in. This is the slave that restores all, this is her 些游戏规则、去赢棋当然会更加容易。但下棋的情趣则在于应在规则的限定laxative, these are the tablets that melt away fat, these are the hormones of 范围内赢取胜利。一言以蔽之，没有艰难，断无情趣。
perceptual youth, these are the stockings that hide varicose veins.一旦读完这13、The buyers and sellers at the happiness-market seem too often to have lost 些隐约让人振奋的小说和专题文章，读者在杂志最后几页就会发现梦想的真their sense of the pleasure of difficulty. Heaven knows what they are 相：这是家庭主妇必须得系上的背带，以展现其完美身材。这些是她睡觉时playing,but it seems a dull game. And the Indian holy man seems dull to us, I 必须带上的颚带。这是可以恢复青春的药剂和装备，这是她减肥用的缓泻药，suppose, because he seems to be refusing to play anyting at all. The Western 这些是消化脂肪的药片，这些是使外表年轻的荷尔蒙，这些是掩盖静脉曲张weakness may be in the illusion that happiness can be bought. Perhaps the 的长袜。 Eastern weakness is in the idea that there is such a thing as perfect (therefore
6、Obviously no half-sane person can be completely persuaded either by such static ) happiness.幸福市场上的买卖双方似乎大都体会不到挑战困难的乐趣。poetry or by such poetry or by such pharmacopoeia and orthopedics. Yet 天知道他们在玩些什么，但似乎不外乎那些无聊的游戏。我猜印度的圣人在someone is obviously trying to buy the dream as offered and spending billions 我们看来有些无聊，因为他似乎拒绝玩任何游戏。西方人的弱点在于他们幻every year in the attempt. Clearly the happiness-market is not running out of 想幸福可以买到。或许东方人的弱点在于他们认为存在产丰一种完美的（因customers, but what is trying to buy?显而易见，即使心智不健全的人也不会完而也是静止的）幸福。
全相信这些诗境或是这些药典和矫正术。然后有人显然正在竭力购买这些广14、Happiness is never more than partial. There are no pure states of mankind. 告所兜的美梦，并为此每年耗资数十亿美元。这种幸福市场无疑不会无人问Whatever else happiness may be, it is neither in having nor in being, but in 津，但他们购买的究竟是什么呢？ becoming. What the Founding Fathers declared for us as inherent right,we
7、The idea ―happiness,‖ to be sure, will not sit still for easy definition: the should do well to remember, was not happiness but the pursuit of happiness best one can do is to try to set some extremes to the idea and then work in market, is the cardinal fact that happiness is in the pursuit itself, in the toward the middle. To think of happiness as acquisitive and competitive will meaningful pursuit of what is life-engaging and life-revealing, which is to say, do to set the materialistic extreme. To think of it as the idea one senses in, say, in the idea of becoming. A nation is not measured by what it possesses or a holy man of India will do to set the spiritual extreme. The holy man‘s idea wants to possess, but by what it wants to become.从来就没有过完美的幸福。of happiness is in needing nothing from outside himself. In wanting nothing, 人类社会不存在尽善尽美。无论人们怎样界定何谓幸福，它既不在于拥有也he lacks nothing. He sits immobile, rapt in contemplation, free even of his 不在于实现，而在于追求的过程。我们应该牢记：开国元勋们为我们所宣布own body. Or nearly free of it. If devout admirers bring him food he eats it; if 的与生俱来的权利，不是享受幸福而是追求幸福。假如他们当初预见到现在not, he starves indifferently. Why beconcerned? What is physical is an illusion 出现的幸福市场，他们就会强调指出这样一个基本事实：幸福在于为之奋斗to him. Contemplation is his joy and he achieves it through afantastically 的过程，在于我们终生为之努力并从中获得启迪的事业，也就是说在于追求。demanding discipline, the accomplishment of which is itself a joy within him.对于一个民族的评价不是看它拥有什么或是幸福拥有什么，而是看它想要追诚然，给“幸福”这一概念下定义远非易事：最好是尽量为这一概念确立一求什么。
些极限，然后将两者折中。将幸福视为物质上的拥有和相互攀比，这就确立15、By all means let the happiness-market sell us minor satisfactions and even 了其物质上的极限。将其视为一个人（比如印度的圣人）所感知的信念，则minor follies so long as we keep them in scale and buy them out of spiritual 是确立了其精神上的极限。圣人的幸福是无需身外之物。无欲则无求。他静change. I am no customer for either Puritanism or asceticism. But drop any 坐不动，陷入冥思，甚至脱离或者说近乎脱离自己的肉体。如果有虔诚的信real spiritual capital at those bazaars, and what you come to will be your own 徒带来食物，他硬听； 如果没有，他便淡然地饿着。有什么好牵挂的呢？对poorhouse.当然，只要我们掌握好一个度，或者只作为一种精神调节，不妨从他而言，物质世界只是虚幻。宴想是他的极乐，而他通过修行来实现。这种幸福市场买点满足感甚至可以花钱买点愚蠢的东西。我既不信奉清教徒的生修行要求之高，让人难以置信，其完成本身就是他内心的一种极乐。 活准则也不赞面禁欲主义。但如果我们在这些市场上放弃任何真正意义上的
8、Is he a happy man? Perhaps his happiness is only another sort of 精神财富，那么到头来我们只能是一无所有。
illusion.But who can take it from him? And who will dare say it is more 五、Remote Control
1、Recently the Washington Post printed an article explaining how the Your Call Is Important when you call a business that does not wish to speak appliance manufacturers plan to drive consumers insane.最近《华盛顿邮报》with you persinally-telling you: Your celery is Limp.‖ You will not know who 刊登了一篇文章，解释家用电器制造商是如何谋划把消费者逼疯的。 else your refrigerator knows this, and, what is worse, you will not know how
2、Of course they don‘t say they want to drive us insane. What they say they your refrigerator is telling about it ( Hey, Bob! I hear your celery is limp!‖ ). want to do is have us live in homes where ―all appliances are on the Internet, And, if you want to try to make the refrigerator stop, you‘ll have to decipher sharing information‖and appliances will be ―smarter than most of their Owner‘s Manual instructions written by and for nuclear physicists (―To owners.‖ For example, the article states, you could have a home where the disable the Produce Crispness Monitoring feature, enter the Command Mode, dishwasher ―can be turned on from the office‖and the refrigerator ―knows then elect the Edit function, then select Change Vegetable Defaults, then when it‘s out of milk‖ and the bathroom scale ―transmits your weight to the assume that Train A leaves Chicago traveling westbound at 47 mph, while gym.‖当然制造商们并没有说他们想把我们逼疯，他们说他们想做的是让我们Train B…..‖现在电器制造商们想给我们提供更多电器功能。你知道这意味着生活在“所有电器通过互联网实现信息共享”的住宅里。而这些电器比“大什么吗？这意味着某天晚上你打开你那“智能”的电冰箱寻找一瓶啤酒时，多数主人聪明得多”。例如，文章说到你可以拥有这样一个家：洗碗机“可以你会听到甜美而讨人喜欢的声音，“您的芹菜发蔫了”。当你致电一个商家，从你办公室启动”、电冰箱“知道何时牛奶喝完了”、浴室磅秤可以“把你的而对方又不想和你直接交谈时，你会听到一个相同的录音女声告诉你：“这个体重传送到健身房”。 电话很重要”。你不知道电冰箱是如何知道这些的。更糟糕的是，你不知道电
3、I frankly wonder whether the appliance manufacturers, with all due respect, 冰箱把这句话告诉了别的什么人。（“嘿：鲍勃！听说你的芹菜发蔫了！”）如have been smoking crack. I mean, did they ever stop to ask themselves why a 果你想让你的冰箱停下来，你不得不被破译由核物理学家编写的用户使用手consumer, after loading a dishwasher, would go to the office to start it? Would 册指南。（“取消产品保鲜监控功能：进入命令模式，然后选择编辑功能，再there be some kind of career benefit?恕我直言，我满怀敬意地想知道电器制造选择变化蔬菜默认值，然后假设火车A从芝加哥以47英里/小时的速度向西商们是不是晕了头。我的意思是他们是否该停下来问问自己：为什么消费者行驶，火车B„„”）。
把碗碟放进洗碗机后，要跑到办公室去启动它？难道这样可以在职场上获益Is this the kind of future you want, consumers? Do you want appliances 吗？ that are smarter than you? Your appliances should be dumber than you, just YOUR BOSS: What are you doing? 老板：你在干什么？ like your furniture, your pets and your represetatives in Congress. So Iam YOU ( tapping computer keyboard ): I‘m starting my dishwasher! 你（敲urging you to let the appliance industry know, by phone, letter, fax and e-mail, 打键盘）：我正在启动我家的洗碗机！ that when it comes to ―smart‖appliances, you vote NO.You need to act YOUR BOSS: That‘s the kind of productivity we need around here! 老quickly. Because while you‘re reading this, your microwave oven is voting 板：这恰恰是我们这儿需要的工作效率。 YES.消费者们：这就是你们所期望的未来吗？你希望电器比你还聪明？当然YOU: Now I‘m flushing the upstairs toilet! 你：我现在就冲洗楼上厕不是。家用电器应该比你笨，就像你的家具、宠物和国会众议员一样。所以所！ 我敦促你们通过电话、信件、传真或电子邮件的方式让电器制造厂商知道：
Listen, appliance manufacturers: We don‘t need a dishwaher that we can 当论及“智能电器”时你们会投反对票。必须尽快行动。因为在你读这篇文communicate with from afar. If you want to improve our dishwashers, give us 章时，你的微波炉正在投赞成票。
one that senses when people leave dirty on the kitchen counter, and shouts at 六、The Right to Fail
them: ―Put those dishes in the dishwasher rignt now or I‘ll leak all over your 1、I like ―dropout‖as an addition to the American language because it‘s brief shoes!‖电器制造商们听好：我们不需要从远处来启动洗碗机。如果你想改进and it‘s clear. What I don‘t like is that we use it almost entirely as a dirty word.洗碗机，那就给我们这样一台：当人们把脏碗放在碗柜上时，洗碗机能够感我喜欢“中途退出者”这个加入美语的词汇，因为它简洁明了。我所不喜欢应并且大声冲人喊：“立刻把碗放进来，不然我就会漏水把你鞋子弄湿！” 的是我们几乎完全把它作为一个禁忌词语使用。
Likewise, we don‘t need a refrigerator that knows when it‘s out of milk. 2、We only apply it to people under twenty-one. Yet an adult who spends his We alrealy have a foolproof system for determining if we‘re out of milk. We days and nights watching mindless TV programs is more of a dropout than an ask our wife. What we could use is a refrigerator that refuses to let us open its eighteen-year-old who quits college, with its frequently mindless courses, to door when it senses that we are about to consume our fourth Jell-O Pudding become, say, a VISTA‘ valunteer. For the young, dropping out its often a way Snack in two hours. of dropping in.我们只把它用在21岁以下的人身上。与一个中途离开大学、同样，我们也不需要电冰箱知道什么时候没有牛奶。我们已经有了一个傻瓜避开那些毫无思想内容的课程，志愿参加为美国服务志愿队（VISTA）的18也明白的万无一失的方法来确定牛奶是否喝完：我们可以问一下妻子。我们岁青年相比，一个整天整夜看不需要动脑筋的电视节目的成年人更是半途而需要的是这样一台电冰箱：当它意识到我们要在两小时内就要把第四个吉露废的人。而对于年轻人来说这是以退为进。
果子冻布丁吃完时，冰箱门就再也打不开了。 3、To hold this opinion, however is little short of treason in America. A boy or
As for a scale that transmits our weight to the gym: Are they nuts? We girl who leaves college is branded a failure-and the right to fail is one of the don‘t want our weight transmitted to our own eyeballs! What if the gym few freedoms that this country does not grant its citizens. The American decided to trainsmit our weight to all these other appliances on the Internet? dream is a dream of ―getting ahead,‖ painted in strokes of gold wherever we What if, God forbid, our refrigerator found out what our weight was! We‘d look. Our advertisements and TV commercials are a hymn to material success, never get the door open again!至于可以把我们的体重传送到健身房的磅秤：our magazine articles a toast to people who made it to the top. Smoke the 这是不是疯了？我们自己都不想看到自己的体重！如果健身房决定把我们的right cigarette or drive the right car-so the ads imply-and the girls will be 体重传给网上的其他电器怎么办？要是电冰箱知道我们的体重会怎么样呢？swooning into your deodorized arms or caressing your expensive lapels 但愿不会如此。否则，我们将再也不能打开冰箱门了！ Happiness goes to the man who has sweet smell of achievement. He is our
But here is what really concerns me about these new ―smart‖ national idol, and everybody else is our national fink.然而在美国，持有这种观appliances:Even if we like the features, we won‘t be able to use them. We 点差不多就是背叛。中途退学的孩子们被指称为失败者—失败的权利是美国can‘t use the appliance features we have now. I have a feature-packed 政府没有赋予国民的少数几个自由之一。美国之梦是“成功”之梦，凡是我telephone with 43 buttons, at least 20 of which I am afraid to touch. This 们放眼之处都是一片金光灿烂。宣传广告和电视广告歌颂物质方面的成功，phone probably can communicate with the dead, but I don‘t know to operate it, 杂志文章赞誉获得此类成功的人。广告暗示你：吸适合你身份的烟、开适合just as I don‘t know how to operate my TV, which requires three remote 你身份的车，女孩们就会陶醉在你那没有异味的怀抱之中，抚摸你那昂贵的controls. One control (44 buttons ) came with the TV; a second (39 衣领。幸福只青睐那些散发出成功的甜蜜气味的人。他是全体国民的偶像，buttons )came with the VCR; the third (37 buttons ) was brought here by the 其他所有人则是国家的蛀虫。
cable man, who apparently felt that I did not have enough buttons.但是对于这4、I want to put in a word for the fink, especially the teen-age fink, because if 些新型的“智能”电器，我真正关心的是：即使我们喜欢这些功能，我们也we give him time to get through his finkdom-if we release him from the 无法使用它们。甚至现在电器已有的功能我们也不会使用。我有一部功能齐pressure of attaining certain goals by a certain age-he has a good chance of 全的电话机，上面有43个键，但至少有20个功能健我是不敢碰的。这部电becoming our national idol, a Jefferson or a Thoreau, a Buckminster Fuller or 话或许可以与死人交流，我却不知如何使用。这就如同我不知道怎样操纵我an Adlai Stevenson, a man with a mind of his own. We need mavericks and 的电视一样，它需要3个遥控器。其中一个遥控器（有44个功能键）与电视dissenters and dreamers far more than we need junior vice-presidents, but we 机相连，另一个（有39个功能键）与录像机配套；再一个（有37个功能键）paralyze them by insisting that every step be a step up to the next rung of the 是有线电视管理员带来的，显然他觉得我的遥控器的功能键还不够多。 ladder. Yet in the fluid years of youth, the only way for boys and girls to find
So when I want to watch TV, I‘m confronted with a total of 120 buttons, their proper road is often to take a hundred side trips, poking out in different identified by such helpful labels as PIP , MTS, DBS, FZ, JUMP and BLANK. directions, faltering, drawing back, and starting again.我想为蛀虫，尤其是10There are three buttons labeled POWER, but there are times-especially if my 多岁的蛀虫说句话。因为如果我们给他时间去克服平庸，即让他摆脱在某一son and his friends, who are not afraid of features, have changed the 年龄取得某种成功的压力，他大有机会成为像杰斐逊、梭罗、巴克敏斯特•富settings-when I honestly cannot figure out how to turn the TV on. I stand 勒或者阿德雷•史蒂文生一样的国家偶像，成为一个拥有独立思想的人。我们there, holding three remote controls, pressing buttons at random, until 对特立独行者和持异义者的需求远远大于对年轻副总裁的需求。但我们却坚eventually I give up and go turn on the dishwasher. It has been, literally, years 持认为每一步都应该是通向更高一级阶梯，而这恰恰使他们气馁。在变化无since I have successfully recorded a TV show. That is how ―smart‖my 常的年轻时代，年轻人找到适合自己的正确道路的唯一方法就是先走一百次appliances have become.所以当我想看电视时，我面对的是120个功能键。通弯路，探索各个方向，蹒跚，后退，然后重新踏上征程。
过诸多PIP、MTS、DBS、FZ、JUMP、BLANK等有用的标签来识别它们的5、―But what if we fail?‖ they ask, whispering the dreadful word across the 功能。其中3个功能键的标签都是POWER。但有些时候尤其是如果我儿子和Generation Gap to their parents, who are back home at the Establishment 他的朋友们——他们都不害怕破坏原有的功能——改变了设置，我真不知道nursing their ―middle-class values‖ and cultivating their ―goal-oriented 该如何打开电视机。我站在那儿，手中握着3个遥控器胡乱地按着，直到最society.‖ The parents whisper back: ―Don‘t!‖“但是如果我们失败了怎么办终放弃转而去开洗碗机。毫不夸张地说，我花了几年的工夫才学会了录制电呢”？他们问道，小声地把这些可怕的话语传过代沟，送到父母耳中。这些视节目。我的电器就“智能”到了这种程度。 父母是当权派，正在培养他们的“中产阶级价值观”，构建他们的“目标明确
And now the appliance manfacturers want to give us even more 的社会”。父母们轻声回答：不能失败！
features.Do you know what this means? It means that some night you‘ll open 6、What they should say is ―Don‘t be afraid to fail!‖ Failure isn‘t fatal. the door of your ―smart‖ refrigerator, looking for a beer, and you‘ll hear a Countless people have had a bout with it and come out stronger as a result. pleasant, cheerful voice-recorded by the same woman who informs you that Many have even come out famous. History is strewn with eminent dropouts,
―loners‖who followed their own trail, not worrying about its odd twists and 然而，这也许同样竟味着他们对过时的成功标准不以为然，而在尽快创造新turns because they had faith in their own sense of direction. To read their 的标准。
biographies is always exhilarating, not only because they beat the system, but 13、Recently, it was announced, for instance, that more than two hundred because their system was better than the one that they beat.他们应该说不要害thousand Americans have inquired about serve in VISTA (the domestic Peace 怕失败！失败并不致命。无数人曾失败过，也因此而变得更加强大。有些甚Corps) and that, according to a Gallup survey,‖ more than 3 million American 至成了名人。历史上充满了卓越的中途退出者以及沿着自己的道路前行的“孤college students would serve VISTA in some capacity if given the 独者”。他们不惧怕偶尔的波折，因为他们坚信自己的方向感。阅读他们的传opportunity.‖ This is hardly the road to riches or to an executive suite. Yet I 记总是令人振奋，这不仅因为他们打破了旧体制，更因为他们创立的体制要have met many of these young volunteers, and they are not pinning for 优于他们打破的。 traditional success. On the contrary, they appear more fulfilled than the
7、Luckily, such rebels still turn up often enough to prove that individualism, average vice-president with a swimming pool.例如最近有报道称，超过20万though badly threatened, is not extinct. Much has been written, for instance, 的美国人向VISTA（国内和平队）询问有关服务的事宜。盖洛普的调查报告about the fitful scholastic career of Thomas P. F.Hoving, New York‘s former 发现，“如果有机会的话，有超过300万美国大学生愿意在VISTA中承担某Parks Commissioner and now director of the leaving schools as if they were 种工作。”而这并不是通向财富或者经理套房之路。然而，我却遇见过很多这motels, often at the request of the management. Still, he must have learned 样的年轻志愿者。他们并没有被传统的成功模式禁锢。相反，他们看起来比something during those unorthodox years, for he dropped in again at the top 拥有游泳池的普通副总裁更满足。
of his profession. 14、Who is to say, then, if there is any right path to the top, or even to say 幸运的是，类似的叛逆举动时常出现，这足以证明虽然个人主义受到严重威what the top consists of? Obviously the colleges don‘t have more than a 胁，但却没有销声匿迹。例如，人们经常提及托马斯P.F.洪维的独特学术生涯。partial answer-otherwise the young would not be so disaffected with an 他是前纽约公园委员，现任大都会艺术博特馆长。洪维是极期限典型的中途education that they consider vapid. Obviously business not have the answer- 退出者。他出入学校好比进出汽车旅馆，当然这主要是应学校管理层的要求。otherwise the young would not be so scornful of its call to be an organization 然而在那些接受非正规教育的岁月里，他一定学到了一些东西。因为他以退man.那么，谁能说清是否有通向巅峰的正确道路，或者甚至能说巅峰到底包为进，并且到达了事业的顶峰。 含了什么呢？很明显大学只能提供部分的答案—要不然年青人也不会对教育
8、His case reminds me of another boyhood-that of Holden Caulfield in J.D. 不满，认为它如此枯燥乏味。很明显商业中也不曾有答案—要不上青人也不Salinger‘s The Catcher in the Rye, the most popular literary hero of the 会地应聘成为公司总裁一员如此不屑一顾。
postwar period. There is nothing accidental about the grip that this dropout 15、The fact is, nobody has the answer, and the dawning awareness of this fact continues to hold on the affections of an engaging shambles of our seems to me one of the best things happening in America today. Success and ―goal-oriented society,‖so gratified our secret belief that the ―phonies‖are in failure are again becoming individual visions, as they were when the country power and the good guys up the creek. Whether Holden has also reached the was younger, not rigid categories.Maybe we are learning again to cherish this top of his chosen field today is one of those speculations that delight fanciers right of every person to succeed on his own terms and to fail as often as of good fiction. I speculate that he has. Holden Caulfield, incidentally, is now necessary along the way.事实上，没有人能够回答。对我来说，当今美国发生thirty-six.他的事迹让我想起了J.D塞林格《麦田守望者》中何顿•考尔菲德的的最美好的事情之一莫过于人们开始觉醒认识到这一事实，就像在建国之初少年时代。考尔菲曾是战后最受欢迎的文学英雄形象。这个中途退出者受到的年代一样，成功之与失败再次成为个人的理解，而不是僵化的范畴。也许，整整一代美国人的青睐绝非偶然。其他任保人，不管是真实存在的还是杜撰我们正在重新学会珍惜每个人用他自己的方式成功，并在这条道路上尽情失的，都没有给我们这个“目标明确的社会”造成如此迷人的混乱，也不曾如败的权利。
此满足我们某种隐蔽的思想，即“假冒者”当权，有能力者处于困境。现在七、Life Without Father
何顿是否到达他所选择领域的巅峰就成了一个绝佳的幻想题材，许多好小说1、The United States is becoming an increasingly fatherless society. A 的追捧者都对此感兴趣。我想他已到达事业之巅。顺便提一句，何顿•考尔菲generation ago, a child could reasonably expect to grow up with his or her 德现年36岁。 father. Today, a child can reasonably expect not to. Fatherlessness is
9、I‘m not urging everyone to go out and fail just for the sheer therapy of it, or approaching a rough parity with fatherhood as a defining feature of childhood.to quit college just to clddle some vague discontent. Obviously it‘s better to 美国正日益成为一个父爱缺失的社会。上一代的儿童能理所当然地期待与父succeed than to flop, and in general a long education is more helpful than a 亲一起生活。今天的儿童可以理所当然地期待不这样的生活。父爱缺失几科shorter one. (Thanks to my own education, for example, I can tell George 和父爱一样，正在成了童年生活的一大特征。
Eliot from T. S. Eliot, I can handle the pluperfect tense in French, and I know 2、This astonishing fact is reflected in many statistics, but here are the two that Caesar beat the Helvetii because he had enough frumentum.) I only mean most important: Tonight, about 40 percent of U.S. children will go to sleep in that failure isn‘t bad in itself, or success automatically good.我并不是要敦促likely to spend a significant portion of childhood living apart from their 大家由于失败具有疗效而去选择失败，或者仅仅因为一点不满就退学。很明fathers. Never before in this country have so many children been voluntarily 显，成功优于失败。一般来说，接受长期教育要比短期教育更有帮助。（比如，abandoned by their fathers. Never before have so many children grown up 由于我接受了教育才能分清乔治•艾略特，才能掌握法语中的过去完成时，才without knowing what it means to have a father.很多数据都反映出这一令人能清楚恺撒打败赫尔维蒂人是因为他有足够的玉米）。我只是说失败本身并不吃惊的现象，但最重要的两个数据是：今夜约有40%的美国孩子将在没有父是好事，或者说成功并非必然是好事。 亲的房里入睡。一半多的孩子可能在童年时期有相当一部分的时间是与父亲
10、Fred Zinnemann, who has directed some of Hollywood‘s most honored 分开过的。这个国家从来没有如此多的儿童被他们的父亲主动抛弃。从来没movies, was asked by a reporter, when A Man for All Seansons won every 有如此多的孩子在其成长过程中不知道拥有父亲意味着什么。
prize, about his previous film, Behold a Pale Horse, which was a box-office 3、Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It disaster. ―I don‘t feel any obligation to be successful,‖ Zinnemannn replied. is the leading cause of the decline in the well-being of children. It is also the ―Success can be dangrous-you feel you know it all. I‘ve learned a great deal engine driving our most urgent social problems, from crime to adolescent from my failures.‖A similar point was mad by Richard Brooks about his pregnancy to domestic violence. Yet, despite its scale and social consequences, ambitious money loser, Lord Jim, Recalling the three years of his life that fatherlessness is frequently ignored or denied. Especially within our elite went into it, talking almost with elation about the troubles that befell his unit discourse, it remains a problem with no name.关于这一代人的人口统计显示in Cambodia, Brooks told me that he learned more about his craff from this 出的倾向中，父爱缺失是最糟的一项。它是儿童生活幸福度下降的罪魁祸首，considerable failure than from his many earlier hits.弗雷德•金尼曼曾导演过也是产生犯罪、青少年怀孕、家庭暴力等严重社会问题目的根源。然而尽管多部好莱坞最受推崇的电影。在《四季之人》获得各种奖项之时，有记者问父爱缺失这一问题普遍存在且后果严重，却经常被忽略被否认。尤其是在我及他以前拍过的票房毒药《十面埋伏擒蛟龙》。金尼曼回答说，我没有感觉有们的精英话语中，父爱缺失仍是一个未被清楚地认识到的问题。
任何责任非成功不可。成功或说是危险的—你会觉得你无所不知。我从自己4、Surely a crisis of this scale merits a name and a response. At a minimum, it 的失败中学会了很多东西。曾对影片《吉姆大公》投入巨资却失败的理查德•requires a serious debate. Why is fatherhood declining? What can be done 布鲁克斯也有类似的观点。回想起为此片花费的3年时间，布鲁克斯几乎是about it? Can our society find ways to invigorate effective fatherhood as a 兴高采烈地谈论着他位于柬埔寨的剧组所遭遇的困难。他告诉我，他从这次norm of male behavior? Yet, to date, our pubulic discussion has been 失败中学到的技能比他从早期限拍摄的成功之作中学得要多。 remarkably weak and defeatist. There is a prevailing belief that not much can
11、It‘s a point, of course, that applies throught the arts. Writers, playwrights, or even should be done to reverse the trend.对于如此规模的危机问题当然应painters and composers work in the expectation of periodic defeat, but they 该认识清楚并做出反应。至少要加以认真讨论：为什么为父之道会沦丧？针wouldn‘t keep going back into the arena if they thought it was the end of 对这一问题有何对策？我们的社会能否找到办法，促使男性都能尽到为父之world. It isn‘t the end of the world. For an artist-and perhaps for anybody- it 责？然而到目前为止，公众在这一问题上的声音还很微弱，没有成效。普遍is the only way to grow.当然，这种观点贯穿于艺术始终。作家，剧作家，画的看法是我们无法甚至不应该去改变这一趋势。
家，作曲家预计到他们的工作台会出现周期性的失败。如果他们认为失败是5、As a soctiety, we are changing our minds about men‘s role in family life, 世界末日的话，他们就不会重回他们的工作领域。失败并非世界末日。对艺Our inherited understanding of fatherhood is under siege. Men are 术家—或者对任何人—来说，失败是成长的惟一途径。 increasingly viewed as superfluous to family life: either expendable or part of
12、Today‘s younger generation seems to know that this is true, seems willing the problem. Masculinity itself often is treated with suspicion, and even to take the risks in life that artists take in art. ―Society,‖ needless to say, still hostility, in our cultural discourse Consequently, our society is unable to has the upper hand-it sets the goals and condemns as a failure everybody who sustain fatherfood as a distinctive domain of male activity.社会正在改变关于won‘t play. But the dropouts and the hippies are not as afraid of failure as 男性在家庭生活中作用的看法。代代传承的为人之父的观念正处于被困状态。their parents and grandparents. This could mean, as their elders might say, 男性越来越多地被认为是家庭生活中多余的角色：他们要么起过一次作用就that they are just plumb lazy, secure in the comforts of an affluent state, It 结束，要么是家庭问题目的一部分。在我们的文化话语中，男子气本身也经could also mean, however, that they just don‘t buy the old standards of 常受到怀疑，甚至遭到敌视。这样我们的社会就无法继续将为父之道视为男success and are rapidly writing new ones.如今的年轻一代似乎知道这是真实性行为的特定领域。
的，似乎愿意像艺术家在艺术中冒险一样在生活中冒险。不用说，社会仍占6、The core question is simple: Does every child need a father? Increasingly, 上风—它为人们设定目标，谴责那些不参与的人是失败者。但是中途退出者our society‘s answer is ―no.‖ Few idea shifts in this century are as 和嬉皮士们并不像他们的父母和祖父母们那样害怕成为失败者。正如他们的consequential as this one. At stake is nothing less than what it means to be a 长辈们所说，这或许意味着他们懒惰，无忧无虑地生活在一个富足的国度。man, who our children will be and what kind of society we will become.问题
相当简单：是不是每个小孩都需要一位父亲？来自我们的社会越来越多的答和个人幸福与集体幸福的路标。简而言之，它反映的是一种不能适应特殊的案是：否。本世纪的观念转变还很少像这变化一样带来如此严重的后果。危男人、女人和为人父母者所处社会的文化。
险的是人们几乎不去思考：作为一个男性意味着什么？我们的孩子们将成为14、In personal terms, the main result of this failure is the spread of a mefirst 什么样的人？我们将变成什么样的社会？ egotism hostile to all except the most puerile understandings of personal
7、My criticism is not simply of fatherlessness but of a culture of happiness. In social terms, the results are a decline in children‘s well-being fatherlessness. For, in addition to fathers, we are losing something larger: our and a rise in male viloence, especially against women. The most significant idea of fatherhood. Unlike earlier periods of father absence in our history, result is our society‘s steady fragmentation into atomized individuals, isolated such as wartime, we now face more than a physical loss affecting some homes. from one another and estranged from the aspirations and realities of common The 1940s child could say: My father had to leave for a while to do something membership in a family, a community, a nation bound by mutual commitment important. The ‘90s child must say: My father left me permanently because he and shared memory.从个人的角度来说，这一失败的主要后果是自我优先的自wanted to.我的批语不是简单地针对家庭中父亲角色的缺失，而是针对一个父我中心主义的蔓延，除了对个人幸福的最天真的理解之外，对一切都怀有敌道沦丧的文化。因为除了父亲以外，我们正在失去更为重要的东西：我们对意。从社会的角度来说，其后果是儿童生活质量的下降和男性暴力的攀升，于为父之道的操守观念。与历史上早些年（比如战争时期）父爱的缺失不同，尤其是针对女性的暴力。最为显著的后果是我们的社会不断地分裂为单个的我们现在面临的不仅仅是影响某些家庭的父亲物质实体上的缺失。20世纪40个体。这些个体彼此隔离，并同通过相互承担义务和共享的记忆联系在一起年代的孩子会说：我的父亲为了去做一些重要的事而不得不暂时离开了我。的家庭、社会和国家中的一般成员的抱负与现实疏远起来。
90年代的孩子会说，我的父亲永远离开了我，因为他不想要我了。 15、Many voices today, including many expert voices, urge us to accept the
8、This is a cultural criticism because fatherhood. Much more than decline of fatherhood with equanimity. Be realistic, they tell us. Divorce and motherhood, is a cultural invention. Its meaning is shaped less by biology out-of –wedlock childbearing are here to stay. Growing numbers of children than by a cultural script.a societal code that guides-and at times pressures-a will not have fathers. Nothing can be done to reverse the trend itself. The only man into certain ways of acting and understanding himself.这是一种文化上的solution is to remedy some of its consequeces: More help for poor children. 批评，因为与身为人母不同，身为人父是一种文化上的创新。它的意义与其More sympathy for single mothers. Better divorce. More child-support 说来自于生物特性，不如说是决定于文化规约社会的准则，它指导有时是迫payments. More prisons. More programs aimed at substituting for fathers.今使—一个人以某种方式行事和理解自我。 天很多人，包括许多专家，敦促我们平静地接受父道的沦丧这一事实。现实
9、Like motherhood, fatherhood is made up of both a biological and a social 点吧，他们说。离婚和婚外产子仍将继续发生。越来越多的孩子们将没有父dimension. Yet, across the world, mothers are far more successful than fathers 亲。没什么能扭转这一趋势本身。唯一的办法是对某些后果采取补救：对贫at fusing these dimensions into a coherent identity Identity. Is the nursing 困儿童提供更多的援助，对单身母亲给予更多的同性。更好地处理离婚，支mother playing a biological or a social role? Feeding or honding? We can 付更多的儿童扶养费。设立更多的限制。实施更多旨在取代父亲的方案。 hardly separate the two.so seamlessly are they woven together. But 16、Yet what Abraham Lincoln called the better angels of our nature always fatherhood is a different matter. A father makes his sole biological have guided us in the opposite direction. Passivity in the face of crisis is contirbution at the moment of conception, nine months before the infant inconsistent with the American tradition. Managing decline never has been enters the world. Because social paternity is linked only indirectly to the hallmark of American expertise. In the inevitable and valuable tension biological paternity, a connection cannot be assumed. The phrase ―to father a between conditions and aspirations-between the social ―is‖ and the moral child‖ usually only to the act of insemination, not the responsibility for raising ―ought‖-our birthright as Americans always has been our confidence that we the child. What fathers contribute after conception is largely a matter of can change for the better.‖然而，亚伯拉罕•林肯称之为我们天性中美好的一面cultural devising.同身为人母一样，身为人父是由生物和社会两方面构成的。的东西总是指引着我们朝向相反的方向。在危机面前消极被动不符合美国的然而在全世界，就将这两方面融合成一个协调的身份而言，母亲们要比父亲传统。维持下降的趋势从来不是美国专家的特点。在现实与希望—社会的“存们成功多子。照料孩子的母亲扮演的是一个生物学意义上的角色，还是一个在”与道德的“责任”—之间不可避免而又有价值的张力之下，身为美国人社会角色？是喂养孩子还是联系母子之情？我们很难将二者分开，它们彼此我们始终自信我们能变得更好。
紧密地联系在一起。但是身为人父就不同了。一个父亲只是在他的妻子怀孕17、Does every child need a father? Our current answer hovers between ―not 的时候，即婴儿来到人世的9个月前，做出他生物学上的贡献。由于社会意necessarily‖and ―no.‖ But we need not make permanent the lowering of our 义上的父子关系只是间接与生物学意义上的父子关系相关，因此不能说他们standards. We can change our minds. We can change our minds without 之间存在必然联系。为人之父通常只是指授精这一行为，而不是指抚养孩子passing new laws, spending more tax dollars or empaneling more expert 的责任。父亲们在怀孕之后做什么样的贡献，这很大程度上是一个文化设计commissions. Once we change our philosophy, we might well decide to pass 的问题。 laws, create programs or commission research. But the first and most
10、Moreover, despite their other virtues, men are not ideally suited to important thing to change is not policies, but ideas.每个小孩都需要一个父亲responsible fatherhood. Men areinclined to sexual promiscuity and paternal 吗？我们目前的答案介于“不一定”与“不”之间。但我们不必持久地降低waywardness Anthroplogically fatherhood constitutes what might be termed a 标准。我们可以改变观念。不必通过新的法律、花费纳税人更多的钱或成立necessary problem. It is necessary because child well-being and societal 更多的专家委员会，我们就能改变观念。人生观一旦改变，我们极有可能做success hinge largely on a high level of paternal investment: men‘s 了决定，通过更多法律，设置更多的项目，进行更多的研究。但是最基本也willingness to devote energy and resource to the care of their offspring. It is a 是最重要的，不是改变政策，而是改变观念。
problem because men frequently are unwilling or unable to make that vital 18、Our essential goal must be the rediscovery of the fatherhood idea: For investment.此外尽管男性有其他的优点，他们并非理想地适合承担身为人父every child, a legally and morally responsible man.我们的最根本目标必须是的责任。男性倾向于滥交，承担父亲的责任不稳定。在人类学看来，身为人父道观念的重新发现：对每个儿童而言，应该有一个法律上、道德上负责任父成了所谓的“必不可少的问题”。说它必不可少，是因为儿童的幸福和社会的男性。
成功很大程度上取决于高水平的父系投入：即男性愿意贡献精力和资源照料19、If my goal could be distilled into one sentence, it would be this: Because 后代。说它是个问题，是因为男性经常不愿意或者无法做出这种至关重要的our society is lurching in the opposite direciton, I see the Good Family Man. 投入。 As the principal casualty of today‘s weakening foucus on fatherhood. Yet I
11、Bacause fatherhood is universally problematic, cultures must mobilize to can not imagine a good society without him.如果把我的目标提炼成一句话，enforce the father role, guiding men with legal and extralegal pressures that 那就是：一个好的社会颂扬把家庭放在首位的男性典范。由于我们的社会正require them to maintain a close alliance with their children‘s mother and 步履蹒跚地走向相反的方向，我把“居家好男人”看作是今天弱化父道的主invest in their children. Because men don‘t volunteer for fatherhood as much 要受害者。然而，我不能想像，没有这样的好男人会有一个美好社会。 as they are conscripted into it by the surrounding culture, only an authoritative 八、Europeans Just Want to Have Fun
cultural commitment to fatherhood can fuse biological and social paternity 1、Walking across Boulevard St. Michel in Paris, on the night before Bastille into a coherent male identity. For exactly this reason, anthropologist Margaret Day I bumped into an old friend-an American who has lived in the city for 25 Mead and others have observed that the supreme test of any civilization is years-who told me he was taking up the tango. When I asked him why, he whether it can socialize men by teaching them to nurture their offspring.由于suggested I take a stroll along the Left Bank of the Seine, opposite Ile St. 身为父亲是一个普遍问题，所以各种文化必须齐心协力，加强父亲的角色、Louis and so of course I did.法国革命纪念日前夜当我穿越巴黎圣米歇尔大街指导男性，用法律或法律之外的压力要求他们与孩子的母亲紧密合作，并对时，遇见了一位在巴黎生活了25年的美国老朋友。他告诉我，他迷上了探戈。他们的孩子有所付出。如果没有周围文化的感召，男人们不会主动履行父亲当我问他为何如此时，他建议我沿着圣路易岛对面的塞纳河左岸走一遭。当的责任，只有强烈的身为人父的文化使命感，才能将生物意义的和社会意义然，我照办了。
的父亲身份融合成一个和诣的男性身份。正是由于这个原因，人类学家玛格2、It was one big party. A drop-dead-gorgeous crowd was tangoing away in a 丽特•米德和其他观察到，对一个文明的最高检测就是看它是否能通过教育男makeshift, open-air amphitheater. Nearby a multiethnic group was doing the 性去抚育后代从而将男性社会化。 meringue. Hundreds of others were tucking into picnics by the river as a full
12、The states could hardly be higher. Our society‘s conspicuous failure to moon rose in a cloudless sky. Much later that night, after a perfect fish soup in sustain norms of fatherhood reveals a failure of collective memory and a the Place des Vosges I walked into the narrow passages of the Marais District collapse of moral imagination. It undermines families, neglects children, and stumbled upon an impromptu block party. Someone had set up a sound causes or aggravates our worst social problems and makes individual adult systom on the sidewalk, and the street was packed with people-straight and happiness, both female and male, harder to achieve.父道沦丧所带来的危险非gay, young and old, black and white-dancing to salsa.那里正在举行一个盛大常之在。我们的社会不能维系身为人父的准则这个明显的失败，反映了集体的舞会，俊男靓女们正在临时搭建的露天剧场跳着探戈。在附近，一群不同记忆的失败和道德想象力的崩溃。它使家庭遭到破坏，孩子受到忽视，还造族裔的人正在跳拉丁默朗格舞。当一轮满月从晴朗的夜空升起时，河边数以成或恶化了最严重的社会问题，并且让个体成年人的幸福—包括男性和女性百计的人正在尽情享受野炊的乐趣。当晚后半夜，在浮日广场喝完鲜美的鱼—更加难以实现。 汤，穿过马菜街区窄窄的街道，我无意之间又遇上一个即兴的街区舞会。有
13、Ultimately, this failure reflects nothing less than a culture gone awry, 人已在人行道上安装好音响系统、街道上挤满了人——异性恋、同性恋、年unable to establish the boundaries and erect the signposts that can harmonize 轻人、老年人、黑人、白人——都随着担丁萨尔乐曲翩翩起舞。
individual happiness with collective well-being. In short, it reflects aculture 3、Europe is enjoying itself. O.K. in late July, it always does. The weekend I that fails to ―enculture‖ individual men and women , mothers and fathers.最终was in Paris, an estimated 500,000 kids descended on Berlin for the annual 这一失败反映了一种扭曲的文化，这种文化不能确立自己的边界并树立起调Love Parade, a carnaival of techno music,dope and sex. Meanwhile, tens of
thousands of families started their treks from the damp north of the Gontinent to their vacation homes in the warm south. But even when the sun isn‘t shining, Europeans seem to eb throwing themselves into fun and festivity with unprecedented zeal. Each weekend, central London is one great bacchanal Cities that for reasons of politics or religion were once gloomily repressive-Madrid, say, or Dublin- now rock to the small hours. In Prague the foreign visitors who get talked about are not the earnest young Americans who flocked there in the early 1990s, but British partygoers who have flown in for the cheap beer and pretty girls. The place that British historian Mazower once called the true dark continent- and from whose curdled soul the horrors of fascism sprang- has become Europa ludens, a community at play.欧洲人过得逍遥自在。是的，7月末的欧洲通常如此。我在巴黎的那个周末，估计有50万年轻人蜂拥进入柏林，参加一年一度的“爱之游行”活动。那是一个充满泰克诺音乐、毒品和性的狂欢。此时数以万计的家庭也正从润湿的欧洲大陆北部，长途跋涉来到温暖南部自己的度假屋。但是即使阳光不那么灿烂，欧洲人似乎也会以极大的热忱投身于娱乐和节日欢庆之中。周末的伦敦市中心变成了饮酒派对的场所。昔日因受到政治、宗教专制统治而郁郁寡欢的马德里、都柏林，而今可以摇滚狂欢至凌晨。布拉格人谈论的外国游客不再是那些20世纪90年代初成群结队，接踵而至的年轻美国人。取而代之的是那些为了享受廉价啤酒、漂亮女孩幕名而至的英国派对客一族。由于欧洲是令人胆颤心惊的纳粹主义的诞生地，英国历史学家Mark,Mazower曾把欧洲称为绝对黑暗大陆。而如今欧洲成了娱乐的天堂，快乐的都城。
4、Funny. This is how the U.S. was supposed to be. In a famous series of essays collected in his 1976 book, The Cultural Contradictions of Capitalism, Daniel Bell noted how the decline of the Protestant small- town ethic had unhinged American capitalism from its moral foundation of capitalism (had ) become hedonism, the idea of please as a way of life.‖ In a 1969 cover story titled ―California: A State of Excitement,‖ Time reported that, as most Americans saw it, ―the good, godless,gregarious pursuit of pleasure is what California is all about…. ‗I have seen the future,‘ says the newly returned visitor to California, ‗and it plays.‘‖真是可笑！这本该是美国的模样嘛！丹尼尔•贝尔1976年出版《资本主义文化矛盾》一书，书中收录的一系列著名文章描述了新教徒小镇式道德观的衰落怎样动摇了美国资本主义的道德基础和对工作内在价值的认识。20世纪60年代，贝尔声称，“资本主义文化经过拨乱反正已变成了享乐主义文化，享受成为生活的一种方式。”1969年《时代周刊》一篇名为《加利福尼亚：充满刺激之州》的封面故事中写道，“追寻美好的、非宗教的、交际性的快乐已经成了加利福尼亚的全部。每个刚去过加州的人都说，‘我看到了未来，自由自在的娱乐在发挥作用。’”当时绝大多数美国人对报道中提及的情况都是有目共睹的。
5、But the American future didn‘t turn out as we expected. While Europeans cut the hours they spend at the office or factory-in France it is illegal to work more than35 hours a week-and lengthened their vacations, Americans were concluding that you could be happy only if you work hard and play hard. So they began to stay at their jobs longer than ever and then, in jam-packed weekends at places like the Haptons on Long Island, invented the uniquely American concept of scheduled joy, filling a day off with one appointment after another, as if were no different from one at the office. American conservatives, meanwhile, came to believe that European‘s desire to devote themselves to the pleasures of life and-the shame of it-six weeks annual vacation was evidence of a lack of seriousness and would, in any event, end in economic tears.但美国的未来并没有成为我们所期待的那样。当欧洲人缩短在办公室或工厂工作的时间——在法国一周工作时间超过35个小时就是非法的——延长假期时，美国人却认为只有努力工作拼命玩耍才是幸福的。因此美国人工作的时间开始变得比以往任何时候都长，然后将日程安排得满满的，去诸如位于长岛的汉普敦等地度周末，美国人创造了独特的美国式的概念，按计划娱乐，休息日排满了一个又一个的日程，好像节假日与工作日没什么区别似的。同时美国的保守者们认为：真是遗憾啊，欧洲人渴望全身心地享受生活，一年6周的假期是欧洲人不负责任的表现，无论如何欧洲人最终会为经济的衰退而痛哭流涕。
6、Why do Europeans and Amerians differ so much in their attitude toward work and leisure?I can think of two reasons. First, the crowed confines of Western Europe and the expansive space of North Amerians value stuff-SUVs, 7,000-sq.-ft. house-more than they value time, while for Europeans it‘s the opposite. Second, as Bell predicted, America‘s sense of itself as a religious nation has revived. At least in the puritanical version of Christianity that has always appealed to Americans, religion comes packaged with the stern message that hard work is good for the soul. Modern Europe has avoided so melancholy a lesson.为什么欧洲人和美国人对待工作和娱乐的态度有如此大的反差呢？我能想到两个原因。首先是西欧拥挤的环境和北美广阔的空间导致了不同的消费倾向。从广义上讲，美国人对实实在在的东西例如运动型多功能车，7000平方英尺房子的重视甚至他们对时间的重视。对欧洲人来说，情况恰恰相反。其次，正如贝尔所预言的那样，美国宗教意识思想复苏，至少清教徒式的基督教历来迎合美国人的心声。严厉的教条规劝人们：努力工作对于灵魂升华是有益的。而现代的欧洲已没有了这种苦行课。
7、Whatever the explanation, the idea of a work-life balance is a staple of European discourse, studied in think tanks mulled over by policymakers. In the U.S., the term, when it‘s used at all, is said with the sort of sneer reserved for those who eat quiche. But it might still catch on. When Bill Keller was named executive editor of the New York Times, he encouraged the staff to do ―a little more savoring‖of life, spending time with their families or viewing art.不管如何解释，工作与生活平衡这种观念是欧洲的要义，智囊团对之研究，决策者反复思考。在美国如果这种观念被提升的话，话语间也带有对那些吃乳蛋饼的人的耻笑。但说不定这种观念以后会很流行呢。《纽约时报》总编比尔·凯勒走马上任时，就鼓励手下人员“多品味一下生活的乐趣”，多陪陪家人，或者多欣赏欣赏艺术。
8、Even better, they could take up the tango. 还有更好的呢，他们还能跳跳探戈。
百度搜索“爱华网”,专业资料,生活学习,尽在爱华网
