爱华网Karl Pillemer of Cornell University interviewed nearly 1500 people age 70 to 100+ for his book “30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans.” He asked them what life lessons they’d pass on. What piece of advice were they moreadamant about than any other? More adamant about than lessons regarding marriage, children and happiness?康奈尔大学的Karl Pillemer在他的著作《30个人生教训》中采访了1500个人，年龄从70岁到100岁不等，询问在他们一生中学习到的人生教训。在那些人生教训中，他们最坚持的是哪一个？是什么样的人生教训甚至比婚姻，孩子和幸福更令他们坚持？
Do not stay in a job you dislike.不要留在你不喜欢的行业里。
You know those nightmares where you are shouting a warning but no sound comes out? Well, that’s the intensity with which the experts wanted to tell younger people that spending years in a job you dislike is a recipe for regret and a tragic mistake. There was no issue about which the experts were more adamant and forceful. Over and over they prefaced their comments with, “If there’s one thing I want your readers to know it’s . . .” From the vantage point of looking back over long experience, wasting around two thousand hours of irretrievable lifetime each year is pure idiocy.你知道假如你放声呼号，希望警告别人却毫不起作用会是多么噩梦的一件事情么？专家们正是怀着这样一种紧张的情绪在警告着年轻人：假如你在一个你不喜欢的行业里蹉跎多年，那将会是你终生悔恨的根源和一个悲剧的错误。毫无疑问，专家们对此越来越坚定和具备说服力，他们一次又一次地用这样的辞句开头，“假如有那么一件事是我希望读者能明白的，那就是……”根据他们回顾长期经验所得，在无法挽回的时间里，每年浪费将近2千个钟头，这简直蠢到家了。
What else did they have to say about career?关于职业生涯，这些过来人还说了什么呢？
1. Choose a career for the intrinsic rewards, not the financial ones. The biggest career mistake people make is selecting a profession based only on potential earnings. A sense of purpose and passion for one’s work beats a bigger paycheck any day.1.选择一个有内在报酬而非经济报酬的职业。人们犯的最大的职业错误就是完全因为收入而选择职业。然而，对工作的意志和热情终有一天会胜过账面上更高的收入。
2. Don’t give up on looking for a job that makes you happy. According to the experts, persistence is the key to finding a job you love. Don’t give up easily.2.别放弃寻找一个能让你快乐的工作。专家们认为，坚持不懈是找到热爱的工作的一把钥匙。不要轻言放弃。
3. Make the most of a bad job. If you find yourself in a less-than-ideal work situation, don’t waste the experience; many experts learned invaluable lessons from bad jobs.3.利用好差的工作。假如你已经处在了一个不尽如人意的工作环境中，不要浪费这段经历。许多专家从那些差的工作中学到了非常宝贵的教训。
4. Emotional intelligence trumps every other kind. Develop your interpersonal skills if you want to succeed in the workplace. Even people in the most technical professions have their careers torpedoed if they lack emotional intelligence.4.情商大于一切。假如你想在工作中获得成功，必须发展好你的人际沟通能力。即使是那些来自技术性最强的专业的人才也会因为过低的情商而破坏自己的职业生涯。
5. Everyone needs autonomy. Career satisfaction is often dependent on how muchautonomy you have on the job. Look for the freedom to make decisions and move in directions that interest you, without too much control from the top.5.每个人都需要自治权。职业满意度经常和你在工作上拥有多少自治权有关。你希望有做决定的自由，依自己的兴趣行动，不受太多来自上级的控制。
Another point worth making is advice the older folks consistently did not give:另一个值得一提的重点是那些老人们始终没有提出的建议：
1.No one— not a single person out of a thousand— said that to be happy you should try to work as hard as you can to make money to buy the things you want.1.没有一个人说，你应该努力工作来换取能买到你想要的东西的钱。
2.No one— not a single person— said it’s important to be at least as wealthy as the people around you, and if you have more than they do it’s real success.2.没有一个人说，你至少应该和周围的人一样富有，并且当你比他们更富有时，就代表了真正的成功。
3.No one— not a single person— said you should choose your work based on your desired earning power.3.没有一个人说，你应该根据你渴望得到的赚钱能力来选择工作。
Now it may sound absurdly obvious when worded in this way. But this is in fact how many people operate on a day-to-day basis. The experts did not say these things; indeed almost no one said anything remotely like them. Instead they consistently urged finding a way to earn enough to live on without condemning yourself to a job you dislike.现在，应该怎么选择工作似乎是很明显的了。但事实上很多人在日常生活中却践行着那几条原则。专家们对此并没有说什么。实际上没有人事不关己地对此说了什么，相反他们不断地强调，你应该在不去做你不喜欢的工作的前提下找到一条能够赚到足够养活自己的钱的方式。
This might be a lot to remember and ask yourself on a daily basis. What’s a quick litmustest to determine if you’re on the path to happiness or regret?这或许是一件必须牢记并每天质询自己的事情。就如一张检验你是在通往幸福还是悔恨的道路上的石蕊试纸一般。
You should ask yourself this: do I wake up in the morning looking forward to work?你要问自己这句话：当我在清晨起来时，我是否向往着工作？英国人“完美人生”应做的50件事 做到8件就很了不起British people believe losing a stone in weight, performing live on stage, travelling to 25 foreign countries and earning more than your age are all crucial in order to 'live life to the full'.英国人认为，减掉一英石的体重、在舞台上现场演出、去25个国家旅行和比同龄人赚得多，这些对于“完美人生”来说至关重要。
Spending time with children, having a one-night stand and staying up all night drinking also feature on the new list of 50 achievements we feel we need to do at least once, along with finding true love and being married for more than 20 years.陪孩子、有一夜情和通宵喝酒同样排在了英国人感觉一生至少应该有一次的50件事清单上，而找到真爱、婚姻持续超过20年也同样上榜。
Researchers compiled the list - which also includes doing a bungee jump, dating someone exciting but completely wrong for you, blowing money on a spontaneous trip and going on holiday twice a year - by questioning 2,000 adults about what makes a 'full' life.研究人员编辑的这个清单还包括蹦极、与刺激但不适合的人约会、在一次说走就走的旅行中大肆花钱、一年度假两次，这个清单是向2000个成人询问如何过“完美人生”得出的结论。
But the study also revealed the average person has ticked off just eight of the 50 achievements listed - and only 23 per cent of those polled believe they are already 'living life to the full'.但是研究同样表明，50件事情中一般人只能做到8件——而且其中只有23%认为他们已经在过“完美的生活”。
Trying all types of food, experiencing different cultures, having a degree, owning a pet and visiting all of Britain's historical landmarks were also hailed as 'essential'.尝试各种食物、体验不同的文化、获得学位、养宠物和参观所有英国古迹同样被认为是完美的人生的“必备条件”。
A spokesman for the poll, commissioned to mark the DVD release of Life Of Pi, said: 'The research is really interesting because much of the top 50 list focuses on experiences and achievements rather than having more material possessions.此项调查的发言人表示：“这项研究很有趣，因为清单上列出来的50件事侧重于经历和成就，而不是拥有更多的物质财富。” 据悉委托此项调查是为了庆祝《少年派的奇幻漂流》DVD版发布。
'And that's exactly what the term 'living life to the full' means - it's getting to that point in life where you are enjoying each moment, from the thrills and adventures to the routine of everyday.“这就是‘完美的生活’ 所代表的涵义——指的正是在生活你是如何享受每一刻的，从惊险刺激和冒险活动到每天的日常生活。”
'The research indicates people want to relax into their lives in order to enjoy it - by stopping all the worries about what other people are thinking, how much money they have - and as number nine in the list shows concentrating on what you do have rather than what you don't is of great importance.'“研究表明，人们希望放松身心享受生活，而不要再去操心他人想法，焦虑自己有多少钱——清单中的第九条也显示，关注自己已经拥有的而非没有的东西，这非常重要。”
For many, spending more time outside would be indicative of having a full life, as would booking impulsive last minute holidays, having the courage to travel alone and spontaneously blowing money on shopping trips.对于很多人来说，花更多时间旅游也表示完美生活，因为他们可以在最后一刻冲动预约假期、有勇气独自旅行、可以在旅行中大肆花钱。
Being heroic is important to some: 12 per cent would like to physically rescue someone, and 26 per cent want to be well thought of by family and friends.见义勇为对于某些人来说很重要：12%的调查者希望能亲身救助别人，而26%的人希望得到家人和朋友的好评。
Many people would like to feel they could enjoy the little comforts in life, while 31 per cent want to be 'true to themselves'.And in order to live life to the full, Brits would like to have reached their desired career peak by the age of 40.很多人希望享受舒适的生活，31%的人希望能“忠于自我”。并且，为了能拥有完美生活，英国人希望在不惑之年达到事业的顶峰。
Making time for family and friends, treating each day like it's their last, and being able to keep kids on the straight and narrow are important to Brits.陪伴家人和朋友、像对待生命中最后一天一样对待每一天、能够让孩子走上正轨对于英国人来说很重要。
The study shows that 65 per cent claim they don't live life to the full all the time because they can't afford to, while 38 per cent don't have the time.这项研究表示，65%的人认为他们没有达到完美的生活，因为他们没有条件这样做，而有38%的人认为他们没有时间。
Just under four in 10 people say they have to think of other people around them and this sometimes prevents them from fulfilling their dreams, while 17 per cent are too scared to take the plunge.不到40%的人认为，他们必须考虑到身边的其他人，而这样有时就会阻止他们实现自己的梦想，而17%的人认为他们害怕冒险。
Only three in 10 people class themselves as adventurous, but 85 per cent say that if money was no option they would try to achieve more of the elements in the top 50 list.只有30%的人认为自己是冒险家，但是85%的人声称如果没有金钱的约束，他们希望能够尝试多完成一些清单上列出来的50件事。
The spokesman continued: 'Pi was forced to make a decision not only to survive but to live. It seems as though in real life, people are faced with much simpler choices but still face a challenge when seeking out that genuine sense of fulfillment.'发言人继续说，“Pi被迫做出决定，不仅是为了生存，而且是为了生活。这好像现实生活中，人们面对着更简单的选择，但是仍然面对着挑战，来寻找到真正意义上的完美。
30岁前我们都应该学会的10堂人生课There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.我无比希望年轻的时候学到足够多的东西，好好理解，好好利用。然而，关乎智慧以及人生课堂，往往都是在事过境迁之后的反思中才能得以领悟。我们这些过来人也十分愿意与你们分享经历，以及我们领悟到的人生课。
1. Money will NEVER solve your real problems钱不能解决你的实际问题
Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems. There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.金钱只是个工具，能买到生活所需和一些不错的“必需品”，但不是解决你问题的万能药。有很多人虽然没有很多钱，但仍然过着充实愉快的生活，相反，有些人十分富有，却活得并不幸福。
Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.钱能买来好房子、好车子、漂亮的鞋子，以及一些安全感和舒适度，但却无法修复一段破碎的关系，无法治愈孤独，它所带来的幸福感转瞬即逝也并不实在。幸福不能靠钱来买。如果你总是希望靠买什么来获得幸福，你永远都不会幸福。
2. Pace yourself放慢脚步
Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.年轻的时候，我们总觉得成人之路刚刚开始，总想一次把所有事都完成。我们需要为所有事作出决定，进行人生规划，体验所有的事情，达到顶峰，找到真爱，发现我们人生的目标，所有的都同时完成。
Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit. Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.慢点吧，别太着急。慢慢开始自己的生活，等等看看自己到了什么地方，花点时间去衡量一下自己的选择。享受每一口食物，花点时间看看周围，让别人完成他们的倾诉。给自己点时间去思考和沉思。行动是十分关键的。朝着你的目标前进，为未来做出规划的确很值得有用，但全速前进似乎是张单程票，让你无法回头，还会让你错失路边的风景。
3. You can’t please everyone你无法取悦每个人
“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby我不知道成功的秘诀是什么，我只知道失败的秘诀是去讨好每个人——比尔·科斯比
You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside. Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.你不需要让所有人都赞同抑或喜欢你。希望获得认可、喜欢、尊重和重视，这是人之常情，但别以牺牲你的正直和幸福为代价。你在追寻的肯定感，其他人给不了，这需要来自你的内心。大声说出来，坚持自己的想法，必要时捍卫自己的立场，要求得到尊重，忠于自己的价值观。
4. Your health is your most valuable asset健康是最宝贵的财富
Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth. We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to. Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.健康是无价之宝——要一直重视、呵护和保护它。年轻人往往在最值得呵护健康的年纪大肆挥霍，我们把健康当成理所当然的一件事，因为它就在那里。我们不想要担心，所以也从未真正关注过它，直到健康出现问题。心脏病、骨质疏松、哮喘和癌症——这个清单很长，这些病实际上也都是可以预防的，所以好好呵护自己的健康吧，免得以后后悔。
5. You don’t always get what you want你不可能一直得到自己想要的东西
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon当我们正在为生活疲于奔命时，生活已离我们而去。——约翰·列侬
No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s ok. We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.无论你多么仔细的规划和努力，有时候事情总是不按照你的计划发展，没关系，我们都有些许期待，对理想的生活有一定的设想，但这并不是我们真正的生活。也许有时我们的梦想无法实现，或是中途改变了想法。有时我们不得不放弃而去追求正确的事物，而有时我们需要在找到正确方向时经历其他的东西。
6. It’s not all about you世界不是围着你转的
You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want? It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.你不是宇宙的核心。的确用你以外的视角来看世界有点难，我们都太过于专注自己生活里的一切，我今天需要干什么？这对我、我的工作和生活又意味着什么？我想要什么？对自己生活中发生的一切了如指掌无可厚非，但你也需要关心周围发生了什么，你生活中类似的事情又是如何影响到你周围的人的。这样会让你看待事物更加客观。
7. There’s no shame in not knowing不知为不知
No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes youneurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection. We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life. Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.没有人知晓所有事，没有人知道所有问题的答案。所以说不知道根本不是什么丢脸的事。装着完美只会让你不完美。还会让你看上去像一个神经过敏的伪完美艺术品罢了。我们必须知道，有时需要承认我们的无知和不确定，我们不可能知道所有的事情。我们都会犯错，还会弄砸一些事情。边走边学，这就是人生。再说了，没有人喜欢万事通。一些无知反而能让你更加人性化，更易接近哦。
8. Love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice爱不仅仅是感觉，而是选择
That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible. Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful. Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard, but it is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.迸发的愉悦，让你心跳加快的爱情和激情都无法持久，但这并不是说长久的爱情并不存在。爱与感觉无关，是一个你每天都需要做的选择。我们需要选择忘记烦恼，去原谅，去友善、尊敬、支持以及忠贞。感情需要经营，有时很容易有时似乎无比艰难。这都取决于我们自己的选择，到底想在这段感情中如何表现、思考和说话。
9. Perspective is a beautiful thing远见很美妙
Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing. The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.往往失去远见时，我们就会变得焦虑和低落。我们生活里发生的每件事都那么重大那么重要，不做好就会死，但长远来看，这一件小事似乎根本就微不足道。我们经历的冲突，没有得到的工作，或有或无的轻蔑，突如其来的改变航向，我们想要却没有得到的东西。20、30、40年之后，大部分都会变得微不足道。当你的眼光只放在近期，那么很难去看得长远。所以除非是威胁到生命的事情，否则其他的就放下吧，继续前进。
10. Don’t take anything for granted别把任何事当做理所当然
We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow. When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not. Nothing in your life is guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.很多东西直到失去我们才会懂得珍惜，这包括健康、家人和朋友、工作，现有或未来会有的金钱。年轻的时候，父母一直在身边，但他们不能一直陪伴下去；你总觉得有充足的时间，和老朋友们保持联系或是花时间和新朋友玩乐，但实际并没有；你有钱花，然后觉得下个月也会有钱花，其实也许没有。你生活中所有的事情明天都不一定还存在着，包括那些你爱的。
This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.这些人生课很难学习，但却是至关重要的：生活可以瞬间万变。只要好好珍惜现在所拥有的就足够了。
