爱华网发布：2012-01-05 13:38:52双语对照 | 查看译者版本“If you want your life to be more rewarding, you have to change the way you think.”
“如果你想要自己的生活更加有价值，那么你必须改变你的思考方式。”
“For everyone of us that succeeds, it’s because there’s somebody there to show you the way out.”“对于我们每一个成功人士，是因为有人指导我们走向成功。”
One of the coolest things online this spring was the webinars with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle. Each week during 10 weeks they discussed the ego, the present, consciousness and other ideas from Tolle’s book “A New Earth”. You can stream or download the episodes over here.这个春天线上最棒的一件事儿就是和Oprah还有Eckhart Tolle进行的在线研讨会。在10个星期内，每周他们都会一起讨论自我，把握现在，自我意识和Tolle《全新的世界》一书中的一些其他的观点。你可以在这里浏览或下载到。
These episodes were mostly about Tolle and his ideas. Today I’d like to focus a bit on Oprah. So here are a few of her tips and reminders that resonate with me right now.这些讨论多时关于Tolle还有他的观点。今天我想要多关注一下Oprah。下面就她的一些建议和提醒，也立马让我产生了共鸣。
1. Keep your focus in the right place.1. 将专注力投在正确的地方
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”“对于拥有的，心怀感激；你将最终拥有更多。如果你过多在意你没有什么，你将永远没有够的时候。”
This is a pretty clever tip that can have a larger influence on your life than you may imagine. Within your mind there is something called Reticular Activation System (or RAS). It can help you because what you focus your thoughts on this system will start to try to find evidence of in your surroundings.这绝对是一个能给你生活带来比想象大很多影响的聪明建议。在你的思维中，有一种叫做网状兴奋系统（RAS）的东西，它能够帮助到你。因为在这一系统中你的思维集中了什么，它就会尝试在你周围的事物上寻找证据。
Since you can only take in a small part of all impressions what you focus on becomes very important.由于你只能在众多的感官印象中接纳一小部分，那么你集中注意力的那一处将变得非常重要。
In fact, changing what you focus on can seem to change your world radically.事实上，改变你的关注点看起来似乎可以彻底地改变你的世界。
When you focus on what you have and appreciate it or focus on what you want a lot of things will start to “pop up” in your reality. It was actually there all along.当你关注于自己拥有的，并且心怀感激，或者关注于你想要的很多事情会在现实生活中“突然出现”。事实上一直以来都是如此。
But you can only see it when you shift your focus. If you focus on what you don’t have your RAS will only help you to find evidence of that.但是当你转换关注点的时候，你才能够看到它们实现。如果你关注于自己没有的东西，RAS系统将只会帮助你寻找没有这些的证据而已。
By being thankful and making appreciating a regular habit you cannot only quickly change a sour mood into a positive one. You can also have more of what you want and kinda automatically find solutions and useful information that can help you to achieve what you are focused on. An external reminder or two – for instance post-it notes on your fridge – can be helpful to keep your focus in the right place in your day to day life.把感激和欣赏变成一种习惯，你不只是能迅速地让酸涩的心情变成积极的一类，而且你还能拥有更多你想要的，而且有一点点无意识地找到解决方法还有有用的信息来帮助你达成你所关注的事情。1-2个外部提醒，比如在冰箱上粘便利贴，对于将专注力投在每天生活的重要地方非常有帮助。
2. Redefine failure.2. 重新定义失败
“I do not believe in failure. It is not failure if you enjoyed the process.”“我就不相信失败。如果你享受整个过程的话，那么就不叫失败。”
“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.”“做一件你认为自己不会做的事儿。失败，然后再尝试。第二次做好一些。那些从未跌倒的人们则是一群从未爬上钢丝的人们。这就是属于你的时刻，拥有它吧。”
“I believe that one of life’s greatest risks is never daring to risk.”“我相信人生最大的风险就是始终不敢冒险。”
One of the big things holding people back from getting what they want is the fear of failure. But as written many times before, failure can be a very helpful learning experience. In fact, without failure you’ll probably never learn the things you need to achieve the success you dream of. So, instead of seeing failure as something big and scary, redefine it in your mind as a learning experience. Two more tips for dealing with failure in a useful way are:人们对失败的恐惧，是将他们从争取自己想要的念想中扳回来的最大问题。但是就像之前写过很多次的一样，失败对于领会经验非常有帮助。事实上，没有失败，你可能永远一不会学到自己梦寐以求需要获得的成功。所以，不要把失败看做是个可怕的大事件，在脑子里重新给它这个学习经验的定义。另外有两条建议帮你有效地处理失败：
Create an abundance mentality. A scarcity mentality tells you that there is always a lack. An abundance mentality tells you that there is always an abundance. That there are always more goals that you can score, business opportunities to find and dates to be had. If you miss one, then learn what you can from it. But don’t let it drag you down. Use the first tip in this article and bring your focus back to what you want once again. Focus on the abundance. This will not only make it easier to take a chance on something but is also a good thing to focus on to reduce those negative feelings, those fears of failure that to a large degree is created within your mind because of a perceived lack.创造富足的心态。一个匮乏的心态总是告诉我们一直缺乏，而一个富足的心态告诉我们的则是我们是何等富足。这就是说你总是可以取得更多的目标，找到更多的生意机会还有进行更多的约会。如果你失去了一个，然后就从中学到些什么，但是不要让失去打垮你。这里可以使用第一条建议，将你的注意力再次转回到你想要的事物上来。多注意富足的事情，这样不但能让冒险去做事情容易些，而且减少负面感觉，还有对在脑中勾勒出的那种可以预见的缺乏状态而导致的失败恐惧感，
Focus on the process. What this means is that you just focus on what you are doing. You don’t think about the possible outcomes of what you are doing when you are doing what you do. You detach from that. You just keep your mind focused on doing the work. You don’t think about how you may fail, disappoint yourself or have great success. You don’t think about how you may disappoint, amuse or in some other way be seen through the eyes of others. You just focus on what you do. And so what you do becomes enjoyable even though it may contain some stumbling or failures. You can read more about focusing on the process and detaching from the outcome in The Relaxifying Secret to Success.关注过程。意思就是说只要集中精力在你现在所做的事儿上就可以了。不要想你现在所做的在这么进行了之后会有什么样可能的后果，要把过程和结果分离开来。你只要将思想集中于手头上的工作。不要考虑如果失败了，让自己失望了，或是取得巨大成功会如何如何。也不要考虑你可能会失望，被嘲笑或是被别人如何看待会怎么样。你只要专注于在做的事情。并且尽管可能这一过程中会跌倒或者失败，你做的这一整件事儿也是很有乐趣的。你可以在《轻松成功的秘密》一书中读到更多关于专注过程和将其与结果分离的文章。
3. You are fuelling your own fear.3. 是你自己助长了恐惧
“Whatever you fear most has no power – it is your fear that has the power.”“你最害怕的任何事情其实都是没有多大能力的，是你自身的恐惧才真正有威力。”
Fear is mostly just a loop of thoughts that you are feeding with new energy. When you accept what is and face your fear then you stop feeding it and it dissipates.恐惧大部分都只不过是你喂了新能量的思维筋斗。当你接受事实并且面对恐惧时，你就停止了继续喂食，恐惧也就消散了。
So the key is to accept. Accepting what is stops the flow of energy back into the fear. One way to do this is by surrendering to the emotion. And then to take the action that you fear. By surrendering you remove or at least weaken the negative emotion that is holding you back. By taking the action your mind gets the proof that whatever you feared wasn’t really that scary.所以，关键就在于接受。同意停止能量回流到恐惧的一方。这么做的一个方法就是向情绪投降，然后对于所恐惧的事情采取行动。通过屈服，你移除了或者至少使得拖后腿的那个负面情绪变弱了。通过采取行动，你的思维里页得到了这样一条证据：无论你害怕什么都不必那么提心吊胆的了。
Here’s one way to surrender to your emotion:这里有一条向情绪屈服的方式可以参考:
When you feel a negative feeling then accept that feeling. Don’t try to fight it or to keep it out (like many of us have learned throughout life). Say yes to it.当你有了负面的感觉时，接受它。不要尝试打败它或者置之不理（就像我们许多人一生领会到的一样）。要肯定它的存在。
Surrender and let it in. Observe the feeling in your mind and body without labelling or judging it. If you let it in – for me the feeling then often seems to physically locate itself to the middle of my chest – and just observe it for maybe a minute or two something wonderful happens. The feeling just weakens and sometimes vanishes completely.屈服而且允许它进入你的生活。不加标签或附带任何评价的观察你的大脑和身体的感觉。如果你允许它的加入，对我来说这感觉就通常是生理上会沉在我胸口的正中部位，然后继续注意1-2分钟，一些奇妙的事情就发生了：负面的情绪一下子减弱了，而且有时候还会完全消失。
4. Do the right thing.4. 做正确的事
“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.”“最实在的就是做对的事儿，要明白没人会清楚你是不是做了这件事儿。”
This is a real interesting one. But how do you do it? How do you keep doing the right thing when nobody’s looking and checking up on you? I certainly don’t have a complete answer for that but two useful things I’ve found are these:这一点真的很有意思。但是你怎么样去做它呢？在没人看着检查你的时候，你怎么样依旧做着正确的事情呢？对此，我确实没有一个完整的答案，但是我发现有这两条挺有用的：
Make your own rules. It seems to me that if you are to stick to doing the right thing then you need to take your eyes from the rules and values set by people around you. You need to define yourself and what you’re about. If you play by other people’s rules then you’ll be answering to those people. And it will be pretty easy to slip up or cheat when no-one is watching. But if you make your own rules then you answer to yourself. When you are accountable to yourself instead of the world around you it will be easier to do what you feel is right more consistently.制定你自己的规则。这一条在我看来就是，如果你坚持做正确的事儿，然后你需要关注通过周围的人给出的规则和价值标准。你需要定义自我还有手头上的事儿。如果你受控于其他人的规则，那么你就要迎合那些人。这样在没人监视的情况下，也就很容易被疏忽或者作弊。但是，如果你自己制定规则，然后你就只要迎合自己就可以了呀。当你对自己负责而不是要对周围世界负责的时候，更加持续地做正确的事儿也就变得更容易了。
Get off dependence on external validation. If you are dependent on external validation – people telling you that you are doing a good job etc. – then it will be hard to play by your own rules. You’ll constantly be looking outward to see how you are doing and adapt to what people are telling you. And if you’re hooked on such validation then it will be tempting to just cheat or skip doing the right thing when nobody is watching, because there is no-one there to praise you anyway. You can read more about external validation – and about replacing it with internal validation – in 9 Great Ways to Make Yourself Absolutely Miserable.摆脱对外部检验的依赖。如果你依赖外部检验---人们告诉你，你做得太棒了之类的。那么你运行自己的规则时，这一点将很难实现。你持续朝外看着，想知道自己做的是如何符合人们告诉我们的，而且如果你着迷于这种检验，在没人看着的时候，做个弊或者稍稍不做正确的事儿一下看起来挺诱人嘛，因为本来就没有人会表扬你呀。你可以在《让你悲惨欲绝的9种伟大方法》一书中读到更多关于外部检验和如何用内部认可取代外部检验的文章。
5. You get what you give. In more than one way.5. 你付出才有回报，而且回报的方式不止一种
“What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.”“我非常确信一点，就是你付出过什么，你就会有什么回报。”
This is of course a classic piece of advice. And I believe it’s pretty accurate. People tend to adapt and reciprocate. They treat you as you treat them. But lately I’ve also been thinking about how this seems to work in another way.这是一句非常传统的建议。而且我也相信这一点非常准确。人们彼此适应并且互相往来，他们用你对待他们的方式对待你。但最近，我在考虑这一点是不是用另一种方式也行得通呢。
It seems to me that what you do to others you also directly do to yourself. If you pour out a lot of negativity out into the world then you also pour that energy into yourself. For the moment, it may feel good to gossip about your boss. But I believe that much of the negativity that you find in your life is caused by this behaviour. It may not be directly tied to what you said or did. But it seems to me like you cannot hurt someone without, in some way, hurting yourself too.对我而言你对他人做了什么，也将直接对自己做着一样的事情。如果你发泄了一大堆消极情绪，然后你同样也在自己体内发泄了这样的能量。这个时候，对老板说长道短的可能让你觉得蛮爽，但是我相信你在生活中发现的一些消极性一定是这一行为所引起的。着可能与你所说所做没有直接关系，但是对我来说，就像是你不能伤害别人一样，因为，在某种程度上你也同时伤害了自己。
The more negativity you dole out the worse you tend to feel in your everyday life. The more problems you find and cause. The more you overreact and feel a sad funk arising from nowhere in particular. Maybe it’s because giving out much negativity causes you to focus your RAS more on the negative things in your life.你的消极情绪发泄的越多，你每天的生活就会感觉越糟糕。你找到和引起的问题越多，你就会越感到不知道从何处升起的一种难过和恐惧。这些可能就是因为发泄了太多消极情绪，导致了你让自己的RAS系统更多地关注生活中消极的事情。
6. Let go of the past. Live in the present.6. 让过去成为过去，活在当下
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”“呼吸，放手，并提醒自己现在的这一刻是你确切拥有的。”
One of the best things you can do to improve your life and feeling of wellbeing is to let go of what has happened. To not be dwelling on whatever negative things that happened in the past for too long. But how do actually you do it?你改善自己生活和感受到幸福最好的方法就是，对曾经发生的事情放手。不要再过去发生的消极事情上停留太久。但是你实际上应该怎么做呢？
I have found a few good tips so far. They work well, and will probably work even better as time passes and I get better at using them.我目前有一些比较好的建议，它们都蛮奏效的，而且可能随着时间推移效果会更加好。我呢，用到它们之后变得更加不错了。
The first one is to ask yourself throughout the day or when you feel like you’re spiralling down into negative thoughts: what’s in it for me? What is in for me by thinking about these thoughts?第一步就是全天问问自己或是当你觉得自己要陷入消极情绪时发问：我陷入这般对我来说有什么好处？考虑这些消极情绪对我又有什么好处？
I often realize that there is very little in it for me. Negative thoughts or replaying a negative memory over and over in my mind isn’t helping that much. Sure, you can derive a sort of pleasure – a sort of importance – by feeling like a victim or by hating someone and secretly plotting for some kind of revenge. But really what you are doing is wasting your time and energy.我经常意识到这样子让我获益甚少。消极情绪或者是脑子里一遍遍地回忆消极记忆都毫无益处。当然，你可以导出一些愉快经历，一些比较重要的事情，通过感到好似要受害，或是讨厌某人而进行一系列秘密谋划复仇一样。但是这样做真的是在浪费你的时间和精力。
That’s what’s in it for you. For instance, someone who is hated might not feel good about it. Or s/he may on the other hand not even notice it. It is always the hater that suffers the worst, that carries around the self-imposed curse. S/he spends hours, days or months in a cloud of negative thoughts that spill over into the rest of his/her life too.这就是陷入消极给你带来的。例如，一个遭人讨厌的人，ta可能自己也会感觉糟糕，或者另一方面，也许ta就没有注意到这个问题。通常都是怀恨者自己承受最糟糕的感觉，附带着自己愿意接受强加的诅咒。Ta呢，仍将在余下的人生里还将继续播散着消极思想，过活着每一小时，每一天还有每一月。
You have already read about the second tip: focus on what you want. And focus on the abundance instead of the scarcity.你已经在第二条建议里读到的：关注于你想要的，并且关注自己所富足的，而不是所缺乏的。
The third tip is to learning to spend more and more time in the present rather than the past or a projected future. And the best practical way I have found so far to do that is ties back to the beginning of this article. Pick up a copy of Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” and if you like, start watching/listening to the webinars.第三点建议是学着话多一些时间在当下而不是过去或者是可以投射的未来。我发现最实际的方法有可以联系返回到我们文章一开头提到的。拿一本Eckhart Tolle的《全新的世界》，如果你喜欢的话，开始收看我们的线上研讨会吧。
7. It’s up to you what happens.7. 发生什么都有赖于你个人
“We are each responsible for our own life – no other person is or even can be.”“我们每一个都对各自的人生负责，没有其他人，他们也不可能为你的人生负责。”
When we are young other people are responsible for our lives. I think that one sign of a mature person would be that he or she takes 100% responsibility for his/her own life. Still, there is often a lingering feeling that we may want someone else to still be responsible for our lives.但我们还小的时候，别人可以为我们的人生负责。我觉得一个人成熟的标志就是ta为自己的人生负100%的责任。仍然会有一种回环往复的感觉，我们可能希望有别的人仍然来为我们的人生负责。
One way that this manifests is in how people go looking for magic pills. Instead of buckling down, taking responsibility for their own life and working step by step towards a goal there is a need for a book, a program, a pill or something we can buy that will make our problem go away. Like how mom or dad used to fix your problems and make them go away.这一点显示出来的就是人们去寻找所谓的魔力药丸。不是去努力，一步一步地朝着目标为自己的人生负责任，却有了对一本书，一个程序，一个药丸或是我们能买到的东西来帮我们驱除难题的需求。就像妈妈或者爸爸曾经帮你解决问题，让问题迎刃而解一样。
Now I’m not saying that I haven’t been looking for magic pills. Maybe everyone needs to go through such phases. But I think that when you can let go of such searching then you are probably on a road that will bring you better results than your search for magic pills did.现在我不是说我从未试图去寻找这种魔力药丸。可能每个人都需要经历这个阶段。但是我觉得当你可以将这种找寻放手时，然后你可能会处于一种比你寻找魔力药丸能带来更好结果的良好状态。
Why? Well, you realize that you need to be behind the wheel and in control. And when you stop spending time looking for the next magic pill you become focused. You realize that no book can give you more than the knowledge. You realize that you need to take action in your life and create your life in the way you want it.为什么呢？嗯，你意识到你需要主管和控制。而且当你停止花时间寻找下一个魔力药丸时，你就会变得迷惑。你意识到在没有书可以给你更多的知识，你也意识到自己需要为自己的人生采取行动，并且用自己想要的方式创造人生。
And now all those books you bought may become more useful. Because you are no longer looking at them as a magic pills that will “fix you”. You see them as roadmaps that can guide you along your path.现在，你买的所有的这些书可能就变得更有用了。因为你不在把他们当做魔力药丸来寻找，以为他们会将自己救赎。你把这些书当成了路标，在人生的道路上指引着自己。
版权声明：
本译文仅用于学习和交流目的。非商业转载请注明译者、出处，并保留文章在译言的完整链接。原文来源：positivityblog.com 原文标题：Oprah’s Top 7 Tips for Creating the Life You Want 原文地址：http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/05/24/oprahs-top-7-tips-for-creating-the-life-you-want/ 打开文章名片
