爱华网Women do a lot of silly things to try to impress men; because men do a lot of ridiculous things to impress women, too. Though, even accepted societal norms for picking up a guy often miss the mark because women overthink things. Here's a look at some of the most surefire ways that women think that they can impress a guy--and why they'll fail miserably every time.
女性总会做一些傻事去吸引心仪的男生，而男生也会做出许多离谱的举动去追求女生。不过，已被大众认可的追男方式却经常不凑效，那是因为女人错误地估计了它们所能产生的影响。下面来看看这些被女性认为肯定会吸引到异性而又屡屡失败的糟糕方法。
1. Makeup 化妆
Makeup doesn't do a lot for guys. In small doses it's alright, but if I want to get eyeshadow all over my clothes, I'll go see the Cure in concert.
化妆对男人不会意味着更多东西，淡妆就行了。如果我想让衣服上沾满女人的眼影，那还不如去听怪人合唱团的演唱会。
2. Perfume 香水
No man minds when a woman smells like nothing--a simple stick of deodorant accomplishes this. Women who slather on the perfume end up smelling like the front counter of Macy's, and it's a bit of a turn-off.
如果一个女人闻起来没有什么特别的味道，我相信没有男士会介意——你要是担心自己的汗味或其它不好闻的味道的话，简单地使用去味剂就可以解决这个问题。问题就是总有些女人会在身上喷上一层又一层的香水，这浓烈的香味会使她们闻起来像梅西百货里的售货小姐，那多少让人有些失去兴致。
3. Name Brands 用名牌
You shouldn't wear name brand clothes that cost more than they need to just because you want to impress men. If you're trying to impress women, this sometimes works, but name brand items don't do much for any man other than Ralph Lauren. And just to prove that men don't know anything about brands, I just referenced Ralph Lauren. I have no idea if he makes good clothes. Probably not. But he's the only designer I could name.
不要为了取悦男人就在他们面前穿戴名牌服饰，他们不看重这个。如果你是为了刺激其它女性，这招的确奏效。衣服的品牌名称对男人没有意义。为了证明男人对品牌根本没有概念，我在这提下Ralph Lauren的名字。我不知道他是不是能做出好衣服来，这无关紧要。但他是我能叫出名来的唯一一个服装设计师。
4. Tanning 古铜色肌肤
Tanning salons are all over the place, waiting to help you turn your skin into a sort of orange, glowing monstrosity that looks like it was sprayed out of a can. There are men out there who are impressed by a good tan, but they're what the scientific community calls "pig-ignorant slimeballs".
各地滋生了专门做日光浴的美容院，你可以坐在屋子里看她们是如何把你皮肤变成带点橙色的，像发着光的小怪物，看起来好像是从哪个实验室的瓶子里逃出来的。有些男人对棕褐色皮肤确实很迷恋，但这些女人却被理性思考者称作“无知的可怜虫。”
5. Cosmetic Surgery 整容手术
It almost sounds trite to say that cosmetic surgery is ugly and disgusting. Everyone claims to hate it; yet, it's still a thriving industry. The thing is, though, the cosmetic surgery industry caters to a specific kind of person--the type of person who wants to look fantastic at all costs. The industry isn't set up for making people beautiful. It's set up to make people think they look beautiful. And if the results were fantastic, well, then all's fair in love and war. Ultimately, breast augmentation, fat reduction, Botox treatments ... all of this looks terrible to men, women, small children and animals. Plastic surgery may eventually provide a way for people to cheat themselves into looking younger.
整容手术是非常恶心令人厌恶的，这样的说法几乎是老生常谈，每个人都说不喜欢它。然而，它仍然是一个兴旺的产业，关键是整容业迎合的是特定人群的需要——该类人愿意不惜一切代价使自己看上去漂亮。整容业不能使人们变得更美，它只是使人们认为他们看起来美丽动人。如果整出来的效果很棒，那么好了，在爱与竞争中相关的一切都可以获得公平对待了。不过最终，隆胸，减肥，肉毒杆菌毒素治疗...这一切对男人，女人，儿童还是小动物来说都很可怕。整形外科所能提供的只是使人变得年轻的谎言。
