女孩都被教导要改造自己迎合他人,千万不要这样做,总有人会喜欢真实的你。每一刻的逃避、伪装,每一刻因为顺从他人而言不由衷,都是在浪费生命。
美国著名女校维斯理学院(Wellesley College)邀请尼日利亚女作家奇玛曼达·恩戈兹·阿迪契(Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)在2015年毕业典礼上发表演讲。阿迪契与即将踏入社会的女生们分享了她对女权主义的独到见解和一些人生建议,她说,“永远不要因为‘你是个女人’而去做什么或放弃什么。”
演讲要点(献给女孩们):
All over the world, girls are raised to make themselves likeable, to twist themselves into shapes that suit other people. Please do not twist yourself into shapes to please. Don’t do it.
全世界的女孩都被教导要让自己惹人喜爱,改造自己去迎合他人,请不要这样做,千万不要。
If someone likes that version of you, that version of you that is false and holds back, then they actually just like that twisted shape, and not you. And the world is such a gloriously multifaceted, diverse place that there are people in the world who will like you, the real you as you are.
如果有人喜欢那样的你,那个虚假的有所隐瞒的你,那他们喜欢的只是那个虚影,而不是你。世界那么奇妙多样化,总有人会喜欢真实的你,那个你原本的样子。
Teach your students to see that vulnerability is a HUMAN rather than a FEMALE trait. Commission magazine articles that teach men HOW TO KEEP A WOMAN HAPPY. Because there are already too many articles that tell women how to keep a man happy.
教导你的学生,脆弱啊你的名字不止是女人。撰写教导男人取悦女人的杂志文章,因为已经有太多的文章教导女人如何取悦男人。
I don’t speak to provoke. I speak because our time on earth is short, and each moment that we are not our truest selves, each moment we pretend to be what we are not, each moment we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody want us to say, then we are wasting our time on earth. I don’t mean to sound precious, but please don’t waste your time on earth.
我发言不为挑衅,只因为生命太过短暂,而每一刻的逃避,每一刻的伪装,每一刻的言不由衷,都是在浪费自己的生命。我不是在炖鸡汤,但请不要浪费生命。
There are certain things my mother believes a person should do for the simple reason that sad person “is a woman”. Such as occasionally nod and smile, even when smiling is the last thing one wants to do. Such as strategically give in to certain arguments, especially when arguing with a non-female. Such as get married and have children. I can think of fairly good reasons for doing any of these. But “because you are a woman” is not one of them. Never ever accept “because you are a woman” as a reason for doing or not doing anything.
我母亲认为,身为女人,就意味着有些事情不得不做。例如不时点头和微笑,即使她可能并不情愿;例如策略性地让步,尤其是在和男性争执的时候;例如结婚生子,我可以想出很多正当的理由去做这些事情,但绝不会因为“你是一个女人”。永远不要将“自己是一个女人”作为做或不做某件事的理由。
Now girls are often raised to see love only as giving. Women are praised for their love when that love is an act of giving. But to love is to give AND to take. Please love by giving and by taking. Give and be given. Dare to take.
现在的女孩把爱情视为奉献,女人因她们的给予之爱而倍加褒奖。但是爱意味着给予和索取。请记得在给予爱的同时也要索取爱。给予和被给予。勇敢去索取。