爱华网1. I don’t need sleep, I need answers. I need to determine where, in this swamp of unbalanced formulas, squatteth the toad of truth.
我不需要睡眠，我需要答案。我要找出在这个充满不平衡方程的沼泽中是什么阻碍了真理的蛤蟆。
2.I’ve lived up to my commitments under the agreement. At least once a day I ask how you are, even though I simply don’t care. I no longer stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10 pm, and I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing.
我一直遵守着协议里的所有义务。每天至少问候你一次，即使我一点都不在意。我没有在晚上十点后进行生物危害演习了，我也放弃学习图瓦喉唱了。
3. Oh, I don’t want to know that! How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee the scientific foundation for interstellar flight on a silver surfboard when part of my brain will be scanning his face for signs of a contagious skin disease?
你告诉我这些干嘛啊你。这下好了，我怎么可能一边和斯坦.李讨论用银质冲浪板来星际飞行的科学依据，一边逐行扫描他的脸以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹。
4.I don’t trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATM’s will lead the charge.
鬼才相信银行。我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了，自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖。
5. Oh, no. A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. I have to get my people to safety. “People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me. If the children can’t run, leave them behind!” Oh, the simulated horror!
不会吧。一个类似哥斯拉的怪物正在接近城市。我得把我的市民转移到安全区。“谢尔顿奥波利斯的市民们，我是你们的市长。跟着我。小孩子要是跑不了就别管他们了。”哦呦妈呀，模拟恐怖效果贼棒!
6. There isn’t enough chamomile tea in the world to quell the rage in my heart.
即使饮尽全世界的黄春菊茶【能稳定情绪】，也不能平息我心中的怒火。
7.We are winged fury! Which is still no excuse for going over the posted speed limit.
我们的愤怒张开双翅!即使这样还是没有任何理由超过高速公路的速度限制标准。
8.If you don’t mind, I’d like to stop listening to you and start talking.
你不介意的话，我想停止听你说话，开始发言。
9.Look at you, getting me to engage in the social sciences. You’re a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler.
看看你，居然让我开始研究社会科学了。你真坏，艾米.费拉.福勒。
10.You did not “break up” with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.
你没有与乔伊斯·金“分手”。她叛逃到北韩。
11、Ah gravity, thou are a heartless bitch.
啊，地心引力，你是一个无情无义的婊子。
12.There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.
如果那该死的死亡放射线能用我就不会挨打了。
13. If the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield.
如果胡来才是正确的方法的话，那我闭嘴。
14. Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
谢耳朵：剪刀剪纸，纸包石头，石头砸蜥蜴，蜥蜴毒死斯巴克，斯巴克击碎剪刀，剪刀砍断蜥蜴，蜥蜴吃了纸，纸反驳斯巴克，斯巴克蒸发石头，最后就是一直都那样的，石头硌坏剪子。
15、Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
霍华德：话说，你终于要学普通话了我还真高兴。
谢耳朵：为嘛?
霍华德：等你说顺溜了，有十多亿中国人民等着你去烦，你就不用来烦我了。
16.I love Strawberry Quik! It’s my favorite pink fluid, narrowly beating out Pepto Bismol.
我超爱草莓速溶奶!我最喜欢的粉色液体，比佩托比斯摩(粉色液体胃药)略胜一筹。
17. The need to find another human being to share one’s life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I’m so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own.
人穷尽一生追寻另一个人类共度一生的事，我一直无法理解。或许我自己太有意思，无需他人陪伴。所以，我祝福你们在对方身上得到的快乐与我给自己的一样多
18. Aah! A vintage mint-in-the-box, 1975 Mego Star Trek Transporter with Real Transporter Action! Hot darn!
啊!未拆封的经典，1975年米果公司出产的星际迷航传送机，还会有真实的传送特效!帅爆了!
19.Oooh. That’s what I always thought 1975 smelled like.
哦。跟我想象中的1975年的味道一样。
20.Perhaps you should look with your eyes and not your muscular Nebraska man hands.
你光用眼睛看就行了，把你那肌肉发达的汉子手拿开。
21.This is Steven Hawking! Perhaps my only intellectual equal!
这可是史蒂芬.霍金啊!也许是唯一一个和我智商相当的人。
22.Try and put yourself in my place. Imagine you’re the sole human being living on a planet populated with nothing but dogs and then it turns out, there’s another human being.
你设身处地地替我想想。假设你的星球都是狗狗而你是唯一一个人类，然后突然发现这星球上还有一个人类。
23.Au contraire. When I correct people, I’m raising them up. You should know. I do it for you more than anyone.
正相反。当我纠正别人时，我是让他们更进一步。你应该最懂了，你可是深得我恩惠。
24.If we squeeze you any tighter you might turn into a diamond.
再继续挤下去，你就能变成钻石(钻石的形成需要高压推挤)了。
25.I understand the confusion. I never said that you are not good at what you do. It’s just that what you do is not worth doing.
我理解你的困惑。我从未说过你工作不称职。我是说你的工作没价值。
26.I wish you all could be inside my head. The conversation is sparkling.
真希望你们能听到我的心声。我脑中的对白简直是异彩纷呈。
27.If I am to participate in the social convention that is the stag night, then I must embrace all its components including tobacco, swear words, and yes – alcohol. Jeepers – that’s yucky!
如果我要参与进这种社会习俗，也就是这个单身派对，我就得接受所有的东西，包括香烟，脏话，当然还有酒。亲娘咧，太难喝了!
28. As you know, the essence of diplomacy is compromise. With that in mind I propose the following: I will take Rothman’s office and you will find a way to be okay with that.
众所周知，外交的本质就是妥协。以该本质为指导思想，我提出如下建议：罗斯曼的办公室归我，你一边哭去吧。
29.I’m trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples rip through my shirt.
我在努力提升这屋的温度，太凉了，我激凸得都要扎破衬衫了。
30.Hey gravel monkeys! If you need to shake rocks, try jiggling your heads around!
嘿，你们这些石猴子!想筛石头直接用自己脑袋摇着筛吧!
31.They do men’s and women’s hair in the same room at the same time. It’s like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse.
那里无论男人还是女人都坐在同一个房间里一块剪。那简直就像是带有摩丝的罪恶之城。
32.I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day. But for all my efforts --like the dinner schedule, the pajama rotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet -- it’s clear now, I’m wasting my time.
我用了一生时间精心安排我每天该做什么就是想要给这个世界带来秩序。而我所有的努力-我的晚餐安排，我的睡衣轮换制，我的排便情况试算表--现在我算明白了，我一直在浪费时间。
33.She’s 93. She won’t be disappointed for long.
她都九十三岁了。也失望不了几年了。
34.I am a man of science, not someone’s snuggle bunny.
我是个搞科研的人，不是某人的抱抱兔。
35.There’s a bird outside the window, and he won’t go away. That is the hell that is going on.
窗户外面有只鸟，死活不肯走。弄得我跟人间炼狱似的。
36.It’s called ornithophobia, and someday it will be recognized as a true disability, and then the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. Which is unfortunate because I have a fear of nets.
这叫恐鸟症。而且总有一天，恐鸟症会被视为一种残疾，房东必须按照法律规定给这栋楼加一张大网。到时就悲剧了，因为我还怕网。
37.Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.
蜂鸟是鲜花界的吸血鬼。
38.I’m in the Matrix, Leonard. I see everything.
我在矩阵里，莱纳德，我什么都看得见。
39. What sight is better than your little boy embarrassing a Nobel laureate?
有什么景色能与你儿子让诺贝尔奖得主颜面扫地相媲美呢?
40.Are you trying to suggest that my emotional problems are no different than those of a stupid person?
你是说我的情绪问题跟那些白痴没什么两样吗?
41.It’s not suspicious that I’m fixating – it’s consistent with my personality.
我锲而不舍没什么奇怪的-我个性向来坚持不懈。
42.I tried to scare an Indian with a snake. Come on Cooper, you're better than this!
我居然想用蛇来吓唬印度佬。加油啊，库珀，你就那么点能耐吗。
43.Well, if it’s any help, I’ve read all the great moral philosophers, including Dr. Seuss.
如果需要帮忙的话，我读过各种伦理学家的著作，包括苏斯博士(美国著名作家及漫画家、以儿童书出名)的书哦。
44. I’ve prepared a number of topics that should appeal to the advanced and novice conversationalist.
我准备了一些应该能同时吸引高阶谈天霸与低档聊天人的话题。
45. I trusted you with my email address and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banalities -- Strike One. Touching my food -- Strike Two.
我信任你才给你邮箱地址，你却给我发些网络俗物:一振。碰我的吃的:二振。
46.Greetings, Hamburger Toucher. You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends about how much you "heart" various things.
你好，汉堡亵渎者。可能你很纳闷咋不能和你的密友们网聊了呢，无法倾诉你多么"心水"啥啥啥了。
47.I really don't think this is the kind of thing Jesus concerns himself with.
我不认为耶稣会管这等闲事。
48. I'm not insane -- my mother had me tested.
我一点不疯。我妈早就带我去测试过了。
49. I never eat in strange restaurants. One runs the risk of non-standard cutlery.... Three tines is not a fork. Three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the Seven Seas.
我从不去陌生的餐厅吃饭。指不定就用那些不标准的餐具了...三个分叉的根本不能叫叉子。那叫三叉戟。叉是用来吃东西的，而三叉戟是用来统治七海的(海神手中的三叉戟)。
50. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?
哦，对不起。我有冒犯你吗?你的体重跟自我价值有关系?
