日本生物工程博士 在读生物类博士的生活是怎样的？

发布时间：2018年04月27日 17:30:35分享人:天降幽鬼来源:互联网28
最后更新于10/14/16。好多图预警。

贴一个我很喜欢的乐高系列。大家自行对号入座啊哈哈哈！

作者：
原文链接：
翻译：Mon1st
译文已获作者授权，一切权利属于作者。


Suffering from writer’s block, the grad student stares at a screen as empty as his hopes and dreams.
受困于文思枯竭，博士生盯着和他的希望与理想一样空白的屏幕。

Waiting outside his advisor’s office, the grad student ponders what tattered remains of his dignity will survive the meeting.Waiting outside his advisor’s office, the grad student ponders what tattered remains of his dignity will survive the meeting.
等在导师办公室外，博士生怀疑他仅剩的尊严能否承受住这次会面的打击。

Sitting in front of his advisor, the grad student wonders whether the professor’s lack of eye contact stems from bitter disappointment or profound apathy.Sitting in front of his advisor, the grad student wonders whether the professor’s lack of eye contact stems from bitter disappointment or profound apathy.
坐在导师对面，博士生想知道教授为何不看他的眼睛——是彻底的失望还是深刻的不在乎？

Stepping out of his advisor’s office, the grad student exchanges a brief yet intense thousand-yard stare with the next person in line.Stepping out of his advisor’s office, the grad student exchanges a brief yet intense thousand-yard stare with the next person in line.
走出导师的办公室，博士生和下一个人交换短暂而炽烈的创伤对视*


Reeling from his meeting with his advisor, the grad student takes a moment alone to reflect.
见过导师后，博士生踉踉跄跄地走到安静的地方独自反省。


Turning his head at the sound of familiar footsteps, the grad student realizes that he did not properly lock the bathroom door.
听到熟悉的脚步声，博士生转过头，意识到自己没有锁好门。

Sprawling in his bedroom, the grad student desperately struggles to remember the feeling of happiness.Sprawling in his bedroom, the grad student desperately struggles to remember the feeling of happiness.
在自己的卧室地上到处乱爬，博士生绝望地试图回忆起快乐的感觉。

Clearing yet another paper jam, the grad student sees an uncomfortably close parallel between himself and the printer.Clearing yet another paper jam, the grad student sees an uncomfortably close parallel between himself and the printer.
打印机又卡住了。博士生意识到自己和打印机之间令人不适的相似之处。

Giving up on the jammed printer, the grad student finds a way to control at least one thing in his life.Giving up on the jammed printer, the grad student finds a way to control at least one thing in his life.
放弃修理卡住的打印机，博士生终于找到一件生活中可以被自己控制的事情。

Noticing his advisor walking into the building, the grad student frantically attempts to close the elevator doors.Noticing his advisor walking into the building, the grad student frantically attempts to close the elevator doors.
意识到导师正在走进大厅，博士生拼命按电梯门上的“关门”键。

Managing to close the elevator doors on his advisor, the grad student cannot escape the glare of betrayal that will haunt his nightmares.Managing to close the elevator doors on his advisor, the grad student cannot escape the glare of betrayal that will haunt his nightmares.
成功在导师进门前关上了电梯门，博士生却无法逃脱导师控诉着背叛的眼神，感觉晚上会做恶梦。

Opening the grad kitchen refrigerator, the grad student smells a potent lesson on the tragedy of the commons.Opening the grad kitchen refrigerator, the grad student smells a potent lesson on the tragedy of the commons.
打开同事们合用的冰箱门，博士生闻到公地悲剧的强烈味道。**

Having packed academic books on terrorism to read on his way home, the grad student receives special attention at airport security.Having packed academic books on terrorism to read on his way home, the grad student receives special attention at airport security.
回家的行李中装了很多关于恐怖主义的学术书籍，博士生在机场安检处受到了特别关注。

Arriving two minutes before the start of workshop, the grad student breaks into a cold sweat watching the pizza quickly dwindle away.Arriving two minutes before the start of workshop, the grad student breaks into a cold sweat watching the pizza quickly dwindle away.
在小型研讨会开始前两分钟到场的博士生陷入披萨将被拿完的恐慌，冒出阵阵冷汗。

Glaring at the glutton grabbing the last three pieces of pizza, the grad student is seized by a surge of animalistic rage.Glaring at the glutton grabbing the last three pieces of pizza, the grad student is seized by a surge of animalistic rage.
盯着一次拿走了最后三块披萨的饕餮者，博士生全身充满了野兽一样的愤怒。

Starving from a food-deprived afternoon, the grad student deeply covets the gourmet sandwiches left outside the next workshop.Starving from a food-deprived afternoon, the grad student deeply covets the gourmet sandwiches left outside the next workshop.
一个下午没吃到东西，饥肠辘辘的博士生眼巴巴地望着隔壁门外的美味三明治。


Picking up sandwiches with great relish, the grad student is caught red-handed by the disgruntled administrative assistant.
博士生满怀欣喜地拿起三明治，却被一脸怒容的助理逮个正着。

Eating his stolen sandwiches in the stairwell, the grad student contemplates how his life has come to this.Eating his stolen sandwiches in the stairwell, the grad student contemplates how his life has come to this.
坐在楼梯间吃着偷来的三明治，博士生不禁思考他的人生是怎么落到这般境界。

Taking a late-night break from work, the grad student is locked out of his department and his mind.Taking a late-night break from work, the grad student is locked out of his department and his mind.
深夜暂停工作回到家，博士生被锁在了他的公寓和他的理智之外。

Sifting through the library’s basement stacks, the grad student cannot tell whether the musty smell is from the old books or his withering soul.Sifting through the library’s basement stacks, the grad student cannot tell whether the musty smell is from the old books or his withering soul.
在图书馆的地下室找书时，博士生分不清这股发霉的味道是来自于旧书还是自己逐日凋零的灵魂。

Revising his paper, the grad student is unable to replicate his own statistical results.Revising his paper, the grad student is unable to replicate his own statistical results.
修改着他的文章，博士生无法重现自己的统计数据。

Exercising on the treadmill, the grad student is well-trained to feel exhausted while going nowhere.Exercising on the treadmill, the grad student is well-trained to feel exhausted while going nowhere.
在跑步机上锻炼的博士生早已习惯了在一事无成的同时感到筋疲力尽。

Dropping the barbell on his head, the grad student feels mild solace knowing that he could not have become any dumber.Dropping the barbell on his head, the grad student feels mild solace knowing that he could not have become any dumber.
把杠铃砸在自己头上的博士生意识到自己已经不可能更蠢了，感到一阵欣慰。

Walking by first-years excitedly talking about research, the grad student faintly remembers a time when he was just as naive, misguided, and unbroken.Walking by first-years excitedly talking about research, the grad student faintly remembers a time when he was just as naive, misguided, and unbroken.
路过一群正在兴奋地讨论科研的一年级生，博士生隐约回忆起自己也曾经如此天真，无知，完整。

Finding no coffee left at the front office, the grad student deems his day effectively over.Finding no coffee left at the front office, the grad student deems his day effectively over.
咖啡机里没有咖啡，博士生决定这一天就此结束。

Complaining about his advisor to a colleague over coffee, the grad student chooses an inopportune moment to ignore his surroundings.Complaining about his advisor to a colleague over coffee, the grad student chooses an inopportune moment to ignore his surroundings.
在跟同事喝咖啡说导师坏话时，博士生不幸没有注意自己的周围。

Checking the mail for news about his fellowship application, the grad student finds a thin envelope.Checking the mail for news about his fellowship application, the grad student finds a thin envelope.
博士生去信箱看申请的奖学金有没有消息，发现一个薄信封。

Peering over a vast empty office, the grad student dubs himself the King of Loneliness.Peering over a vast empty office, the grad student dubs himself the King of Loneliness.
看着空荡荡的办公室，博士生自封为孤独之王。

Setting up his laptop for a workshop presentation, the grad student realizes he forgot to bring his dongle.Setting up his laptop for a workshop presentation, the grad student realizes he forgot to bring his dongle.
在演讲前准备自己的笔记本时，博士生发现没有带视频接口转换头。

Taking a question, the grad student grits his teeth listening to a first-year’s delusionally grandiose suggestion.Taking a question, the grad student grits his teeth listening to a first-year’s delusionally grandiose suggestion.
被提问打断的博士生咬着牙听一个一年级生给他提出不 (sang) 切 (xin) 实 (bing) 际 (kuang) 的建议。

Coming to a particularly flimsy slide, the grad student nervously watches dozens of eyes stare at the work of a fraud.Coming to a particularly flimsy slide, the grad student nervously watches dozens of eyes stare at the work of a fraud.
讲到一张特别水的演示文稿，博士生紧张地看着台下几十双洞察他小把戏的眼睛。

Listening to a professor’s remarks, the grad student learns that “three small points” means “three missiles designed to obliterate your work and self-worth.”Listening to a professor’s remarks, the grad student learns that “three small points” means “three missiles designed to obliterate your work and self-worth.”
听着教授的评论，博士生意识到“三个小问题”的意思是“三颗专门用来摧毁你的工作和自我价值的导弹”

Tripping over the VGA cable, the grad student severs his research’s connection with the physical world.Tripping over the VGA cable, the grad student severs his research’s connection with the physical world.
被VGA数据线绊倒，博士生切断了他的研究与现实世界的唯一联系。

Meeting a date for dinner, the grad student is trapped in a restaurant far exceeding his food budget.Meeting a date for dinner, the grad student is trapped in a restaurant far exceeding his food budget.
和约会对象共进晚餐，博士生被困在了一个远超自己食物预算的饭店。

Explaining why he gave the paper a D-, the grad student is informed that the undergrad is the son of a major university donor.Explaining why he gave the paper a D-, the grad student is informed that the undergrad is the son of a major university donor.
向学生解释为什么给对方的文章评分D-，博士生被告知这个本科生是学校大金主的儿子。

Fearing that he will be cold-called, the grad student glares at the professor in an audacious game of reverse psychology.Fearing that he will be cold-called, the grad student glares at the professor in an audacious game of reverse psychology.
担心他会被叫到提问，博士生大胆采用反转心理学盯着教授。

Having spent the whole weekend coming up with one remotely useful comment, the grad student deflates as a classmate makes the point first.Having spent the whole weekend coming up with one remotely useful comment, the grad student deflates as a classmate makes the point first.
用了整个周末来想出一个稍微有点用的评论，点子却被同学抢先说出来，博士生泄了气。

Feeling no less confined after coming to a spacious coffee shop, the grad student confronts the reality that his work is his prison.Feeling no less confined after coming to a spacious coffee shop, the grad student confronts the reality that his work is his prison.
来到一间宽敞的咖啡厅却没有感觉到束缚减轻，博士生不得不面对他的工作就是他的监狱这个现实。


Lounging on the toilet, the grad student has the five most productive minutes of his day.
坐在马桶上，博士生度过他每天最有生产力的五分钟。

Soaking in a committee member’s advice, the grad student marvels at how the professor’s random thoughts eclipse several months of his dissertation work.Soaking in a committee member’s advice, the grad student marvels at how the professor’s random thoughts eclipse several months of his dissertation work.
沉浸在委员会成员的指导中，博士生想不通为什么教授随便的想法就超过了他毕业论文几个月的工作。

Overhearing some business school students complain about their workload, the grad student tells himself to breathe and slowly count to ten.Overhearing some business school students complain about their workload, the grad student tells himself to breathe and slowly count to ten.
听到商业学院的学生抱怨他们的工作量，博士生告诉自己深呼吸并慢慢数到十。

Flying to a conference, the grad student loses the ability to finish some last-minute work.Flying to a conference, the grad student loses the ability to finish some last-minute work.
在去一个学术会议的飞机上，博士生失去了踩线完成工作的机会。

Saving money on the conference by sleeping in a budget motel, the grad student sits in the glow of an old TV that is brighter than his future.Saving money on the conference by sleeping in a budget motel, the grad student sits in the glow of an old TV that is brighter than his future.
为了存钱而住在廉价旅馆的博士生，坐在床上看着比自己的未来更光明的老式电视。

Spotting multiple errors on his poster, the grad student is almost relieved that nobody is looking at his research.Spotting multiple errors on his poster, the grad student is almost relieved that nobody is looking at his research.
发现自己的海报上有数处错误，博士生几乎庆幸没有人来看他的研究。

Checking that the coast is clear, the grad student makes his third casual pass at the free cookies at the large exhibition stall.Checking that the coast is clear, the grad student makes his third casual pass at the free cookies at the large exhibition stall.
看好四下无人，博士生第三次若无其事地走过一个参展商的免费饼干。

Recognizing a renowned scholar at a reception, the grad student is sucked into a black hole of panic and worthlessness.Recognizing a renowned scholar at a reception, the grad student is sucked into a black hole of panic and worthlessness.
在招待会上认出一个著名学者，博士生陷入慌张和价值感缺失的黑洞。

Drawing the motel’s blinds with hopes for a better and brighter day, the grad student faces a brick wall.Drawing the motel’s blinds with hopes for a better and brighter day, the grad student faces a brick wall.
打开廉价旅馆的窗帘以期看到更好和更光明的一天，博士生面对着的是一堵墙。


Attending the panel that rejected his paper proposal, the grad student inwardly trashes each presenter’s research.
参加一个拒绝了他提交论文的讨论组，博士生在内心中把每一个演讲人的研究都批得体无完肤。

Conversing with a very impressive presenter, the grad student withers when he learns that she is a rising second-year.Conversing with a very impressive presenter, the grad student withers when he learns that she is a rising second-year.
和一个特别厉害的演讲人聊天，博士生发现她是才刚二年级，受到了一万点暴击。

Visiting the office of a colleague that recently became an assistant professor, the grad student stifles a deep sigh.Visiting the office of a colleague that recently became an assistant professor, the grad student stifles a deep sigh.
参观一个最近拿到助理教授职位的同事，博士生发出无声的长叹。

Updating an old friend in the city about his life, the grad student hears himself say the word “still” a disconcerting number of times.Updating an old friend in the city about his life, the grad student hears himself say the word “still” a disconcerting number of times.
向住在城市的老朋友更新自己的生活，博士生听到自己说了太多次“还是”。

Mulling over what his lackluster conference trip revealed about his life, the grad student takes a brief break from reality.Mulling over what his lackluster conference trip revealed about his life, the grad student takes a brief break from reality.
思索着自己乏善可陈的会议旅程揭示了自己人生的什么，博士生短暂地逃离了现实。

Seeing some colleagues head to an invite-only reading group, the grad student needs no book to know he is unwanted.Seeing some colleagues head to an invite-only reading group, the grad student needs no book to know he is unwanted.
看着几个同事前往一个邀请才能加入的读书会，博士生不需要书本来告诉他自己不被需要。

Perusing the latest journal issue, the grad student comes across an article that is uncomfortably similar to his dissertation.Perusing the latest journal issue, the grad student comes across an article that is uncomfortably similar to his dissertation.
在最新一期期刊中，博士生读到一篇和自己的毕业论文令人不适地相似的文章。

Needing a letter of recommendation, the grad student begins to suspect that his advisor is avoiding him.Needing a letter of recommendation, the grad student begins to suspect that his advisor is avoiding him.
到了需要推荐信的时候，博士生开始怀疑导师是故意躲着他。

Handing out his section syllabus, the grad student suppresses the thought that it will be his most widely read piece of writing.Handing out his section syllabus, the grad student suppresses the thought that it will be his most widely read piece of writing.
把讨论课的大纲发给学生们，博士生努力抑制“这将是自己读者最广泛的一篇写作”这个危险的想法。

Scanning the smorgasbord at the dining hall, the grad student develops a plan of attack to eat away his sorrows.Scanning the smorgasbord at the dining hall, the grad student develops a plan of attack to eat away his sorrows.
看着食堂的大杂烩菜单，博士生计划大吃一顿来治疗自己的悲伤。

Preparing to ravenously stuff his face, the grad student catches the confused and pitying glances of two of his students.Preparing to ravenously stuff his face, the grad student catches the confused and pitying glances of two of his students.
正准备一头埋进食物中，博士生看到两个自己课上学生困惑而怜悯的眼神。

Being reminded of his childhood by his soft serve, the grad student flashes back to a time when he thought he would amount to something.Being reminded of his childhood by his soft serve, the grad student flashes back to a time when he thought he would amount to something.
被冰激凌勾起童年的回忆，博士生恍惚间回到了以为自己将会有所成就的曾经。

Kicking off his last office hours before the first major paper is due, the grad student regrets not setting up an online appointment system.Kicking off his last office hours before the first major paper is due, the grad student regrets not setting up an online appointment system.
学生们纷纷来请教第一次大作业时，博士生为自己没有建立网上预约系统感到十分后悔。

Stopping by a former student’s graduation party, the grad student limply shakes the hand of the undergrad that he taught in her first year.Stopping by a former student’s graduation party, the grad student limply shakes the hand of the undergrad that he taught in her first year.
在一个学生的毕业派对上，博士生与她无力地握手。他当她的助教时她才一年级。

Failing to find a single functioning stapler, the grad student struggles to keep things together.Failing to find a single functioning stapler, the grad student struggles to keep things together.
订书机全部都没法用，博士生努力让自己不发疯。

Lying in his bed in silence, the grad student has no distractions that can drown out the soft murmurs of self-doubt swirling in his head.Lying in his bed in silence, the grad student has no distractions that can drown out the soft murmurs of self-doubt swirling in his head.
静静躺在床上，博士生无法驱赶脑中自我怀疑的声音。

Drowning in a committee member’s incredibly technical and perplexing suggestions, the grad student has no idea why his head is nodding.Drowning in a committee member’s incredibly technical and perplexing suggestions, the grad student has no idea why his head is nodding.
毕业委员会成员的技术性建议根本听不懂，博士生只能不停地点头。

Refashioning his reviewers’ rejection letters into confetti, the grad student emptily commemorates yet another failure.Refashioning his reviewers’ rejection letters into confetti, the grad student emptily commemorates yet another failure.
博士生把审稿人拒信剪成碎屑，以纪念自己的又一次失败。

Borrowing the department credit card to buy supplies for an event, the grad student fleetingly considers running away and never coming back.Borrowing the department credit card to buy supplies for an event, the grad student fleetingly considers running away and never coming back.
借来系里的信用卡买活动用的材料，博士生脑海中闪过从此远走天涯的念头。

Trying to grade sixty papers, read 800 pages, write three proposals, and reply to 50 e-mails in four days, the grad student simply cannot.Trying to grade sixty papers, read 800 pages, write three proposals, and reply to 50 e-mails in four days, the grad student simply cannot.
博士生计划在接下来的四天里：改六篇学生论文；读800页文献；写三个申请书；回复50封邮件！
哈 哈 哈，怎么可能。

Wondering why nobody else is in the reading room, the grad student glumly realizes that it is a late Saturday night.Wondering why nobody else is in the reading room, the grad student glumly realizes that it is a late Saturday night.
奇怪怎么阅读室里只有自己一个人，博士生得到一个悲伤的领悟：是周六晚上了。。。


9/27/16 悄悄更新

既然你已经看到这里了我想你有很大概率在读博士或者读过，你好呀：）

我想说，分享这组乐高的一部分原因是我觉得它们毫无疑问（可能是太过真实地）描述了我们生活中令人沮丧的一方面：不断的自我怀疑，对研究项目是否能成功的不确定感，和极为残酷的竞争（包括学术和就业）。但另一个原因也是觉得这些令人沮丧的特征值得正视——我们认识到自己选择了一条困难的道路，但我们 [del] 作为一些认知失调的赌徒 [/del] 也愿意承受这些困难和风险，因为我们相信得到的奖赏是值得为之付出的。

不是吗？

9/29 悄悄更新 2

如果有人因为看到这组乐高而更沮丧了，那就太对不起啦！我分享它们的本意是觉得作者的创意很好，而且很有共鸣——你的沮丧不是一个人喔！不同国家不同专业的我们都有着十分类似的体验呀。

另一方面，读博士也不是只有痛苦没有欢乐的嘛~ 做自己认为最有价值的，可能短期内不会有什么经济效益的事情，这样还能拿工资——这本身就是很值得庆幸的事情呀~ 而且身边有那么多志趣相同的科学家可以聊各种想法，不也是一件值得高兴的事情吗？


* thousand-yard stare, 直译为千码盯，是战场回来的士兵或其他重大创伤受害者常有的空洞眼神。
** tragedy of the commons, 公地悲剧，见   1/3    1 2 3 下一页 尾页
日本生物工程博士 

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