第51节:Love/爱(3)
系列专题:《点亮生活的智慧:人生之钥》
后来,我意识到那是一种感谢,感谢我当时陪着它,感谢我对它的关心和爱。在那一刻,我突然有一种少有的感觉,那是最纯洁、毫无杂质的爱的形式:剥离了私欲的、仅仅作为一种神秘力量存在的爱。 我感觉到这种爱从我的体内散发出去,像一把保护伞一样轻轻地把它包裹了起来,当它喘息着最后一口气的时候温柔地将它扶在我的手臂里。 我永远也不会忘记那只小兔子和那种感觉,那是它以及任何生命可以给予的、对生命的启示。 During a brief acting career, I appeared in an obscure play at a backstreet theatre. My part was a real challenge, furiously rehearsed for weeks. On the second night after opening, I was aware of a strange lack of response from the house. Believing there was something lacking in my performance I tried a little harder – and harder still. No improvement. Only in the interval was the terrible truth revealed: There was no one in the audience. I was mortified. To this day I feel the blush on my cheek when I think of myself pouring my heart out – to no one. I quit acting soon after that. It obviously wasn’t the right choice for me, if a response was so essential.
By contrast think of an artist like Renoir, who went on producing pictures, day in day out, year after year, decade following decade. Nothing ever stopped him, no amount of discouragement, poverty or failure. He painted away, regardless of people’s opinions, in pure delight at his own creativity. To be an artist merely for the return it may bring is as doomed as entering a relationship only for what you hope to get out of it: warmth, togetherness, intimacy, sex, security, money, status or whatever: The minute the reward is not forthcoming, it all comes to an end. Love is like art: to survive it has to be genuine, sustained by its own imperative, and never requiring an applause. A lot of people have a fear of commitment. I suppose what they really abhor is becoming dependent, handing over control. I can relate to that. What I can’t understand is why anyone should want to control another, especially in the name of love. For if you attempt it, it leaves the other person with no option but to resist, evade or deceive you, or, worst of all, succumb to your will, in which case their personality expires, and you are stuck with what? A mollusc.
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