爱华网系列专题：《点亮生活的智慧：人生之钥》
The desire for friendship as an insurance against loneliness and isolation like any basic need makes us vulnerable, open to exploitation by those who use the cloak of friendship to hide a host of less honourable intentions. Reasonably harmless are the kind who are friendly only when they stand to gain from it. Worse are those who, eaten by envy and resentment, raise themselves by lowering another, trample on one who extends a helping hand; gain control exerting insidious pressure; and delight in someone else’s degradation.
Such people often masquerade as friends, but, really, they are enemies out to destroy: Extremely dangerous – and best avoided. So watch out for the signs: beware false friends, whilst at the same time doubling your appreciation of those who prove themselves true. I know of a young family. The woman doesn’t believe in marriage. Her father was a difficult, abusive man; her mother brow-beaten, down-trodden. Determined not to risk ending up like her, she retains control of home and children. Her partner is a good family man. He would dearly like to have legal rights to his own children, see them bear his name; be joint owner of the home they share. As it is, their mother could at any time lock the door, throw him out, walk off with a new lover, taking the children with her. I know a couple: a middle-aged business-man and a younger, professional woman. His first marriage ended in porce. It cost him a lot of money. Never again, he vows, will he put himself at such disadvantage. His partner dreams of marriage and a family, but her reality is a long-term limbo. The man’s friends don’t quite accept her. The ex-wife won’t let the children meet her. Occasions with his family place her discreetly in the background. She feels they all regard her as inferior: the one not good enough, or loved enough, to be his wife. There must be many similar scenarios, where the ones who, for reasons of their own, won’t commit themselves have it all their way; whilst those willing to give themselves freelysuffer in silence.
